Project: Deadpool PLUS ULTRA (A CYOA v5u SI)
by KSLCross
Summary: Landing on Hookwolf's nephew and breaking his neck, accidentally shooting Skidmark in the ballsack, then getting my organs harvested before a needle gets shoved into my heart and I'm dropped into the ocean via concrete anchor?... Fuck, why did I take 3 stages of Worst Day Ever while being a Drop Insert who chose HUMBLE BEGINNINGS!
1. Triple Worst Day Ever & Humble Beginning

I was never a stranger to pain.

 _ **SMACK**_

I had been bullied enough in middle school and highschool to have gotten beaten up a few times. Fought back too. Wasn't smart, but I actually had lessons. You know, in martial arts. And my dojo didn't like the modern "sports" adaptation of traditional combat and had kids spar without protective gear.

 _ **SMACK**_

Like, for real, had to sign waivers that kept the dojo from getting sued. Kang-Sunsengnim was fucking off his rocker.

 _ **SMACK**_

"For the last time, I'm Korean! I don't speak mandarin, you fucking-"

 _ **SMACK**_

I was interrupted again by a 2 by 4 shattering into my right ear, tearing up the cartilage, making me scream in pain and rage.

Tears streamed from my eyes.

Spit and blood pooled as they poured from my mouth.

Pieces of yellow-white enamel clattered against cement as I coughed up broken teeth before i choked on them.

"You disrespect the ABB!"

The accent was thick. Mandarin. Chinese is NOT a language, fucking philistines.

Why am I arguing for the guy beating the shit outta me?

Fuck I'm a crazy piece of shit.

"You kirru Hookwolf nephew!"

 _ **SMACK**_

"You shot stah-pid niggah SKIDMARK!"

 _ **SMACK**_

"Den' you brin' both groups into ABB Territory when you NOT EVEN PART OF OUR GANG!"

 _ **SMACK**_

How many 2 by 4s did this motherfucker have?!

I grunted in pain, but I didn't give him any more satisfaction than that.

"Ah dint-" god my mouth was swollen from the recent three blows, all to the face. Piece of shit.

My head rang.

God it hurt.

It hurt so much.

Focus.

I had to focus.

Something.

Anything but the pain.

My name is Joe Lee.

I'm 24.

I've lived in California all my goddamn life.

I've only visited the East Coast two times.

Of course that second time had to be in goddamn Brockton Bay.

I had come across the Worm series one day while surfing the web. My knowledge was mostly secondhand, because while it was a web serial, this was the internet and next to porn, cats, and celebrities, the most prominent thing is goddamn fanfiction.

All I know is that I was off work today, bored out of my mind, and after reading something called a CYOA (had no idea what the acronym fucking meant) I looked it up.

Points. So many things about points, and other convoluted I don't even know whats.

So I put one together.

Fuck, I was so bored.

When I put all the math together and had it equal 0 in both Character and Shard points, that's where the problems began.

The printer paper I had scrawled it on burst into flames and stuck to me like fucking napalm.

There was barking and... oh god, I burned the house down trying to get rid of the flame via stop drop and roll. Nobody else was home but me and my dog, Coco.

Fuck.

Coco... Shit...

Then all the fire was gone and I was just falling.

Then there was a flash of pain in my back and it knocked the air out of my fucking lungs.

"OH SHIT! THAT FAT CHINK FELL ON DAMIEN! MAKE SURE HE'S ALIVE!"

I remember being kicked in the ribs so hard I felt them crack. Fucking hate steel toed boots.

There was the scent of garbage and leather.

And then a semi-familiar object under my body as I rolled further into wherever the hell I was (an alley, I think) and coughed as I rolled on top of a handgun.

It was a Glock.

I think it must have belonged to the guy I fell on, but as I shakily got up I blanked as I picked up the gun.

A swastika.

Uh.

What?

I know that originally this symbol meant for peace or something before the Nazi's twisted its image into something terrible, but-

"Fuck! Damien's dead! The fucking chink broke his neck by falling on him with his fat ass!"

Uh oh.

I had been to a shooting range twice in my life. That was enough for me to flick off the safety and bring up the Nazi-pistol into an amateur firing position.

Now I could see there were two Nazis (Fucking REAL Nazis! With the swastika tattoos on their fucking bald-ass heads and everything!) standing over a skinny teen's body.

Oh fuck.

His neck was fucking gone bro.

Like 90+ degree to the left and snapped kind of gone.

What WASN'T gone was the FUCKING UZI that one of the guys were pulling from his leather jacket!

 **BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! *CLICK***

7 shots?! Was this fucking thing only half loaded?

A Glock holds 15 rounds NORMALLY, who the fuck-

There were two bleeding out Nazis in front of me.

I shot two people and I didn't feel anything.

Shit.

Must be the adrenaline.

Fuck.

FUCK.

How the hell was I going to become a Pharmacist with a fucking CRIMINAL RECORD?! You can't! My career path is fucking OVER! I... I shot people and I'm concerned about my CAREER PATH?! This isn't me! What the fuck is wrong with me?!

I heard sirens beginning to wail.

Fuck.

DOUBLE FUCK on a Monday Morning!

I ran.

I had NO idea where the fuck I was, but I needed to run.

After my last girlfriend had broken up with me I had let myself go. Even though I had recently changed my diet and had started working out and losing some weight I still weighed 240 fucking pounds. Even though I was only 5 foot 7, I was always broad shouldered so my friends only ever thought I was a chubby 190 or 200, but shit. I just KILLED people.

It was like my body forgot how fucking sore it was from yesterday's workout. (Family friend is a personal trainer, and pushed my ass to my limits twice a week... no homo)

Cuz, shit, I ran for at least 20 minutes straight.

I think.

But I was still dressed in a pair of comfy black workout shorts and a now dirty A-Shirt (They're not wifebeaters. That's slang.)

I must have looked tweaked out of my mind.

"Shieeeet. Look at this ABB reject on _my_ turf. Lookin' like a coked up pork bun bakin' for too long in the sun. Drop the gun, ya chink, and maybe Ol' Skidmark here will letcha off easy."

There were disturbed giggles and laughter from my left and I turned to see a-

...

Was this nigga high?

There was a man dressed in blue. Something like a blue leather mask covering the top of his face and a cape. His lower mouth was uncovered, which revealed that he clearly had some sort of drug addiction it was so gnarled and chapped.

Bro looked like his mouth was made from shelled pistachios. God I had seen some weird people since I started working in pharmacy (Pharmacy Tech, because you NEED a letter of rec from an actual Pharmacist to apply to Pharm School), but this guy's mouth took the fucking cake.

I shouldn't have, because it wasn't that funny, but I laughed.

"What the fuck you laughin at? Shiet, this niggah's high as fuck. Ey! Rodrigo! Teach his fucker 'bout fucking with Skidmark in Merchant territory."

He pushed forward a scrawny guy that looked like every high white dude ever.

Baggy jeans. Oversized hoodie. Wore a beanie, and then had the hoodie pulled over it.

Shit his jeans were dragging on the ground and he had the smallest fucking feet for some white guy that was taller than me by a few inches.

Wait.

Skidmark?

That was familiar.

No.

No that... that couldn't be...

Rodrigo's breath, no, his whole presence, smelt like weed.

"Alright, you ABB reject littl' bitch, you-" he began pulling out the fucking tiniest hold out pistol I had ever seen.

Like Southern girls would carry one of these in a purse because 'Omg it's like, so small and cyuuuute!' like small.

Unfortunately for him, I was still high on adrenaline.

Unfortunately for him, he was still high on... something. Probably weed.

The butt of my Nazi-Glock crushed his nose in and I caught the tiny (God, it was so small. Like holding a gun meant for a baby. So fucking stupid, that it was actually funny.) and did the only thing that I didn't want to do.

Dumb fucker kept the safety off, and I was just trying to get a good grip on this thing.

 **POP!**

Fucking accidentally shot Skidmark in the ballsack.

I ran, leaving the most estrogenic hold out gun known to man behind me.

FUCK! FUCK! I JUST SHOT A SKIDMARK IN THE FUCKING BALLSACK!"

I was in WORM! FUCK! THIS was like a code fucking red in FUCK ME THIS IS NOT GOOD!

 _ **SMACK**_

I coughed up blood.

Shit.

Another tooth went loose.

Stuck in Worm and not a power in sight.

Ah.

That's right.

I chose one of those Cauldron Vials for more Shard points so I could get Negenthropy with a smaller loss. How the fuck would that work anyways?

Shit.

And HUMBLE BEGINNING with TRIPLE Worst Day Ever...

Ha ha...

HA HA HA HA HA

THIS EXPLAINS SO GODDAMN MUCH

 _ **SMACK**_

"Fucking stop laughing! Crazy Korean dogshit!"

You know whats funny? I chose Metaknowledge, but I still don't know how the whole timeline goes. I don't think I GOT the CYOA powers. Or will get.

Cuz I'm gonna die here.

My would-be Chinese torturer huffed in irritation before pulling out a cig and taking a puff as I wept blood.

I was shacked to the ceiling from a chain and was dangling like strange fruit. My shoulders had been dislocated an hour ago and I don't know how my flesh kept up and didn't let my body's own mass tear off of my limp arms like some sick overripe fruit.

Fuck, I could SEE how it stretched out without a single connected joint...

"You know what's gonna happen to you, Korea boy?" he blew ash into my face making me choke. I have light tobacco allergy, fuck you!

Shit my throat began to itch.

"We gonna seal your feet in cement and dump you in the bay."

I spit in his face.

Well, at least I tried.

He smacked me again. This time with his gloved fist. Then grabbed my head.

And put his cig out in my left eye.

I howled.

My throat felt like it was tearing apart my vocal cords as my eye burned away.

I blacked out.

Come on man.

I woke up to the sound of laughter.

My good eye looked down at my feet.

Fuck.

Fucking hell.

They cut off my legs. There was a cement block where my thighs once were. Do the ABB sell organs too? My torso also is stitched with giant fucking staples and duct tape and I felt... hollow...

Fuck.

Fucking Lung.

Fucking sick fucks.

My stomach didn't even have bile left to vomit.

"Hey boss! Look, I found this purple bottle in the garbage. It smells super fucking bad. Can we use this?"

"This vial? Why'd you put this shitty black cork back on top? Looks like some failed tinker science shit man." a sniff and gag, "Shit this smells like Merchant diarrhea. Fuck yeah, Lung said to make this fat fuck suffer. We already took his limbs and organs. Wanted to take his lungs and heart too, but Lung said that he had to suffer. Let me pour this into here and..."

 _ **SHINK**_

"In your next life... Don't fuck with the Azn Bad Boys"

Did he just stab me in the heart with a giant syringe?

The injection was quick but whatever it was-

I didn't feel my body being kicked into the cold seawater.

No.

Because this was my vial.

A failed Cauldron vial that was misplaced and discarded incorrectly.

And somehow... I was filled with Negentropy that could end entire universes.

I don't know when I regained consciousness.

I was on the sea floor and seawater had filled my lungs.

The saltwater burned but... I was alive.

Ah.

Regeneration with 2nd Trigger Unlocked.

I had my arms back.

I tore the staples out of my muscled torso and the cracked syringe from my bulging pecs... wait. When did... oh right. Peak Condition.

My legs however, had grown back, but by breaking through to the other side of the concrete anchor like some kind of sick, fleshy tree roots. Most of the concrete was still stuck to skin, even though it had cracked apart some to allow my legs to peak out to the other side.

Damn, my legs were longer than I remember.

I tried prying the cracked concrete off. No go. Fuck. Well if that's the case...

I brought my hands down, driving a double axe handle into the concrete block.

FUCK THAT HURT!

But the concrete cracked and I felt my shattered bones readjust and... meld back together like nothing happened.

Shit, 2nd Trigger Regen is insane!

Even better was the fact that I had Rocky at 2nd Trigger as well.

Pain = PERMANENT FUCKING GAIN MOTHERFUCKER!

 **CRACK**

Fuck my hands!

Shit still hurts!

But it hurts less, so-

 **CRACK! CRUMBLE**

I bashed away at my concrete prison for upwards to half an hour.

It was odd, FEELING your body get stronger bit by bit. Probably because I was bashing at concrete with my BARE HANDS, but I somehow felt like I could lift a small car... ok.. maybe half a small car... and a light one... like a smartcar...

My eyes glowed like a fractured kaleidoscopic sea of stars as I looked at my chest where a black... something... glowed like a thousand screaming blackholes COLLAPSING ETERNALLY **AS THEY FED ON THEMSELVES LEADING TO THE REVERSAL** _**OF THE HEAT DEATH OF A THOUSAND GALAXIES THAT BURST LEADING TO THE REBIRTH OF-**_

FUCK MY EYES!

I looked too deep and they fucking burst like gummy bears in a vacuum tube!

They grew back in less than a minute and I dared look again. This time just at the edges.

Power Sight. Power Hub. Peak Condition. Rocky 2nd Trigger. Regeneration 2nd Trigger. Immunity (had I really picked that up? I couldn't recall, it had been... a long day...) and... Cosmetic Shapeshift?

I thought I picked X-Ray vision...

Maybe I couldn't have 2 eye abilities?

Well, I might not need to breathe, but my lungs were still burning and uncomfortable as hell, so...

I swam up to the surface, hand grabbing the edge of the docks as I pulled myself out and heaved, saltwater POURING out of my lungs and... ugh I could feel it sloshing about in my torso.

Fuck this is gonna hurt.

I quickly shoved two fingers into my abdomen piercing into my body and digging into my intestines as pink saltwater poured out from the gap between my fingers like some sick amniotic fluid.

It was odd. My movements were so... fluid. So easy... Oh.

Forgot that I picked up the Martial Arts Character Skill.

Good. Question solved.

And now? Now I was tired.

Sleepy AF.

I passed out, naked as the day I was born as I heard muted screaming and panic around me.

Fuck it, I'll figure it out once I wake up.

* * *

AN: Uh, well. This kind of came from nowhere.

Hi everybody. This is actually going up on both SpaceBattles (which I am rather new to, Hello~) and Fanfiction Net (Hi guys I'm back! Work loosened up again so I can actually write now! So sorry about the months of silence... I don't mean to T_T)

Uh, so Worm! I've been really enjoying everything here and have JUST begun to read the OG Web Serial... but now that I FINALLY have writing time again, I needed something new to get some creative juices flowing! Don't hate plz. For those of you on Fanfiction who read all my other shiz, the Fate/MHA and RWBY/GAMER chapters are both in progress and about a quarter done each atm (although I'll have to go back and double check stuff, because, well, it's been a while, ya know?)

If you're on Spacebattles and you like this Worm fanfic at all, come check out my other stuff on Fanfiction Net cuz, it's not bad memes man.

Also, even though I forgot that I even HAD it for a while, I DO have a . All of my names are exactly the same (KSLCross) on every site. I just bring it up cuz I do have it, so why not. Not in it for money, but I ain't no millionaire bro, and a nigga's got rent to pay.

Much love,

KSLCross (Holy shit this first chapter was dark as shit tho, next few should be a bit lighter for a while, probably LONGER too.)


	2. Y U Bully Skidmark? (Because we can)

AN1: My character (which is essentially a copy of me) definitely wouldn't go deep-end Deadpool day 1. But it is, definitely in my nature to properly Deadpool when possible. Don't be surprised if I try being all FULL HERO in the beginning of this story. All Might is a thing and my powers also make me PermaGen All Might (after enough escalation)

BEGIN

"Dad?... Why is there a stranger on our couch?"

I woke to the voice of a young girl.

Fuck, that just sounds wrong for some reason.

I kept my eyes closed and didn't move, keeping my face relaxed.

I've been faking sleep since I was 5. I was pretty confident in my fake sleeping face... wow that is sad that I'm proud of that skill.

"Somebody just found him at the docks unconscious after throwing up a bunch of water. I kept him in the waiting room at the office for a while, but it's not like I could just leave him there. And if we called him into the hospital... well they'd bill us instead of whoever would be responsible for him first. Nobody at the docks can afford that kind of monetary responsibility right now, Taylor."

Wait.  
Hold the phone.  
Docks? Taylor? Uh...

Fucking shit.

I'm at Taylor Hebert's house.

SHIT.

What time is it? Fuck. No. What DATE is it?  
I have to stop her trigger event.

Because that is TOO fucked up of a thing to happen to ANYBODY. Fuck the timeline, fuck whatever.

I'm a small guy.

...At heart I mean.  
Look fuck you, when I broke out of that concrete anchor I saw my new body's dick ok? I am a fucking elephant.

Shit, my dick's derailing my train of thought.

Christ there is something wrong with me. And EVERYTHING wrong with that previous sentence.

Still, I didn't take acting in highschool and college for no reason.  
I maintained the sleeping poker face a while longer.

I heard Taylor hum in understanding before walking past me. No. Wait. She's sitting in front of the couch. Well, considering that I'm laying on it I can understand her actions as she flicks on the TV.

My nose was more powerful than I remember. Prolly BS Shard powers from Peak Condition. She smells like some generic brand floral soap. It doesn't smell like anybody's dumped anything on her, so maybe I am just early enough to stop the most fucked up thing that I know happened to someone that I like?

God that's so weird.

She's supposed to be a character in a book.

Well I'm in that book now, so fuck it, she's just as real as I am.

Where was I going with this? Fuck, thats right.  
I'm a small guy at heart. For me, I just want to be able to save what my arms can reach and protect. That's enough for me.

But now, with my powers, my arms can reach out further and protect more.

Wow.

I can... DO something. Make an impact that actually matters...

It's an overwhelming feeling that is drowned out by feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. I don't even recall much about the standard story. Hell I don't even KNOW about most of the shit post Leviathan. Will I even change anything?

The commercial break ends and I hear the news buzz about quietly. Brockton Bay News. Fucking original.

It's about a PRT Conference. Lots of media fanfare and propaganda sounding shit. And something about a new addition to the Wards.

"...today it has been officially confirmed that the Vigilante known as Shadow Stalker will be joining the Wards program on a probationary basis. The PRT expresses great confidence that they will guide and nurture yet another great hero to protect our beautiful city. Former known for her silent and quick takedowns with her crossbow, the young-"

It wasn't the news that Sadistic Sophie joined the Wards that made me freeze.  
It wasn't the fact that, HOLY SHIT I arrived early enough that I could prevent some MESSED up shit from happening to Taylor that made me freeze.  
She was breathing.

On my face.

WTF.

Girl I am above the age of 20 and you're like, what, 15? 16? There is something VERY NOT OK with this!

I twitched as she touched my face.

WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING?

Fuck. Cosmetic Shapeshift. Makes. Me. Attractive.

AND TAYLOR IS CURRENTLY JUST A 15ISH YEAR OLD GIRL WITH TEENAGE HORMONES.

Ah fuck.

Not that I'm not bad looking before, but you know, fat cheeks before. Spicy Korean Hunk after.

Spicy Korean Hunk kind of wins every time.

I grumbled (just enough to be believable) as I opened my eyes.

Her eyes met mine.

Hazel eyes, always shifting in color.

Right now they were green.

"I'm a sucker for green eyes." I muttered, only then realizing that I spoke that aloud at all.

Whelp. There goes the good first impression I was hoping to make.

Taylor immediately flushed like flame and shot backwards. Which was good, because while she was on the cute side, she was way too young to be THAT close to my face.

She was thin. Like. Really thin. Almost anorexic looking, but just healthy enough that it wasn't a suspicion. Nice legs though. Actually.  
Legs for days.

Even if she could use a little more meat on her bones.

Still, I groaned as I sat up, the blanket covering me sliding forwards as I lifted my back from the thick towels keeping my seasalt flavored body from ruining the couch.

I cracked my neck, stretching as turned my head left and right.

"Ugh. That's better... Uh, where am I, miss...?" I asked playing the fool.

Meanwhile Taylor was half hiding behind a worn leather armchair, curious eyes peeking shyly over the aged leather.

"Ah, uh. Hi. M-my name is Taylor. My dad found you on the docks and brought you here."

I gave her a gentle smile.

"Ah, thank you." I nodded cheerily, "I'm afraid that I have no idea what's going on."

She chuckled a little awkwardly. Obviously not exactly sure what to say.

Then her face became even more red. The blush start to spread down her neck and I looked down not understanding why.

Then I cursed under my breath.

"I look like Poseidon decided that his path in life was to become a stripper."

Because Danny Hebert is an idiot. Because Danny Hebert didn't give me a t-shirt. Hell, he didn't even give me a pair of gym shorts. He just left me under a blanket, naked except for the bits of dried seaweed STILL covering my body.

And by covering my body, I meant that it was draped around my shoulders and dried to random parts of my torso like smelly stickers. Shit was pretty much only good for covering my nipples.

Which it was doing.  
Rather poorly.

Fuck.

"You, uh," I pulled up the dirty blanket up to my neck. I've seen my new body underwater. This was NSFW for teenage eyes. "Mind letting me borrow the shower for a bit?"

She gave an almost imperceptible nod before running out of the living room and into wherever I assumed Danny Hebert to be.

I tried not to overhear their conversation, but it seemed Peak Condition improved my hearing as well as my vision.

"Dad! The, uh, guy on the couch is awake and asking if he can take a shower! Also, WHY IS HE NAKED?!"

There was a thump, like somebody hitting their head on some piece of wood.

"Oof! Taylor, honey, I was fixing the sink. And I have some spare clothes for him in the bathroom, but I wasn't going to dress an unconscious kid your age."

Screw you, I just have baby fac- wait. Wut.

So Danny brought what HE thinks is a teenage boy home. Naked. When he has a daughter of what he thinks is the same age?...

Ok. Well.

Danny Hebert is a kind man. Probably very caring. But...  
So, so stupid...

Sandy, light brown hair, all of them slowly going grey. Like ground up salt and pepper. While tall and in decent shape, Danny Hebert was a tired looking man.

"Ah, you're awake. Go ahead and take a shower." He pointed to a hallway, "Its the first door on the left. You can't miss it. Once you're clean and we put some food into you, you can, uh. Figure out what you have to do."

I nodded, although a bit unsure of the current situation.

"Thank you, sir. That, uh, sounds really good."

The bathroom was small, but the tiled floors and walls were clean and free of mold. Not that I was expecting anything really in terrible condition or something. But I recall reading something on the wiki that if Danny Hebert had triggered he'd have, what, rat control?

I blasted the heat to max and stepped into the freezing water.

It felt... well. Not actually all that cold. Just a tad cooler than lukewarm actually.

Shit. Keep forgetting I have powers now. Immunity (the power, obviously) gives temperature immunity. Huh. Fuck. I just ruined hot showers for myself.

The seaweed got dumped into the trash, and I scrubbed myself clean from head to toe.

Where the fuck was my body hair?

Like I'm Korean, and was never hairy, but... my skin was like, baby's bottom smooth. Like a perfect shave everywhere without the hair. Nothing said that I'd stop growing pubes dammit.

I mean I trimmed, but it was so... weird. I didn't even have armpit hair. The fuck? I've never NOT had armpit hair.

Ugh. Whatever.

I stepped out to see the whole room fogged up with steam.

Ah. Max heat. Uh. Oops?

Wiping the moisture off the mirror I stared at my face. I don't think I had been deaged, but my babyface was going even stronger than I remember. I looked 19 at MOST.

I sighed as I opened the window in the bathroom to let all the hot steam and air out and got dressed in the white t-shirt and blue sweatpants that were left out for me.

No underwear tho.

Ah fuck. Pants are kinda close to formfitting. I'm not sure if an outline of my groin makes for a good impression. Shirt was kind of too tight too. Like just big enough to wear. Probably belonged to Danny, but I was currently kind of jacked. And Danny wasn't.

But asking for something else seems a bit...

I peaked my head out into the hallway.

"Uh... sir?"

"Yes? What is it?" I heard from out of my line of sight.

"Not to sound ungrateful, sir, but, uh. I kind of need... bigger pants."

There was a short silence and the sound of a wooden drawer opening before Mr. Hebert appeared with a few pairs of looser sweats.

"These ok?"

They were.

Still weird going commando.

Dinner was equally awkward. Just some mac and cheese with ham sandwiches. That wasn't the problem, per say.

But the atmosphere between Taylor and Danny was obviously awkward... which was compounded by the fact that Taylor's eyes kept flitting about at my biceps and the muscles that were trying to tear through my ill-fitting shirt.

And Danny's stare gaining more and more of what I call Essence of the Papa Bear.

Time to break the silence, I guess.

"So, uh. Thank you for helping me, Mr..."

"Hebert. Danny Hebert. I'm in charge of the Dockworker's Union." Oh god he's going for power-plays. Fuck me man. You're the one that brought me home, dude!

"Hi, my name is Joe. Joe Lee. I'm uh, new in town."

That seemed to at least ease him off.

Probably was concerned that I might be ABB, I just then realized.

But he still brought me home? Odd.

"So, you wanna tell me how you, uh, found yourself on the dock of Brockton Bay?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how I found myself in Brockton Bay." A half-truth. Hell, I didn't even know where or how I appeared in the city.

He frowned as he chewed on some easy mac.

"Do you need to borrow a phone to call your parents?"

"Ah. No sir." Not really a lie. I was pretty sure that I probably didn't exist in this world, therefor no parents. "I don't, uh-"

We were interrupted by the home phone going off.

"S'cuse me for a sec." Danny swallowed his food with a sip of water and turned to pick up the phone.

"H-hi. I'm Taylor." Taking advantage of her dad leaving the table gave me a shy flutter of her fingers in a way that she must have though was a wave.

"Joe. Nice to meet you, Taylor." I smiled back pleasantly, "Thanks for the hospitality."

"Oh, that's not- I mean- It's my dad that-"

There was a large slamming of plastic as Danny Hebert quickly appeared, pulling his jacket on, face in a visage of obvious panic.

"Honey! I'm headed to the docks! Some crazy fat ABB kid pissed off the other gangs yesterday and now the Merchants are using the excuse of a manhunt to move in on the docks! I have to go!"

...Fuck.

"Mr. Hebert, let me help you." / "Dad, you can't go there alone!" We burst out of our chairs simultaneously.

Taylor and I paused for a second as we turned to meet eyes. She turned away quickly with a nervous flush.

"Mr. Hebert. You saved my life." A lie, I mean, I probably would have been fine, but... "Let me help you in any way I can."

I caused this, so I can't let anything happen to him.

He hesitated, but seemed to easily recall that I was MUCH more built than he was.

He grit his teeth, seemingly frustrated, but caved. He needed the manpower.

"Alright. Let me grab an old hoodie to cover your hair and eyes. You're obviously not the guy they're looking for, but you're asian. If they think ABB got to us first then its going to cause a lot of misunderstanding."

He pulled open the hallway closet next to the entrance and tossed me a thick hoodie and worker's facemask from inside. "Hope it fits."

I pulled it over my head and pulled the hood on.

"No asians work for the Dockworker's Union?"

"Nobody as young as you."

"Ah."

We walked out the door (Danny and I both wore size 10. Go figure.) and Danny quickly hopped in his pickup and started the engine. I hopped into the passenger's seat as Taylor ran out the door, and around to her dad's side of the car, giving him a hug through the open window.

"...Please be safe, Dad."

"...I will."

I sat there quietly waiting for them to part. At Taylor's teary face I felt guilt. This was my fault. Fuck. Dammit.

"...I'll keep him safe. No matter what. I promise."

She nodded at me, the sleeves of her thin sweater wiping her tears away as she put up a brave front.

One that she was probably going to be putting up every day for the next few months.

She smiled at me as I tasted blood from my lip.

"Thank you."

I nodded.

I had a mistake to fix.

The drive to the docks was relatively silent and without traffic. Surprisingly.  
It WAS late after all.

"...Hey, kid. You said your name was Joe, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"...If the Merchants have a cape with them. Run."

"...I can't. If there's going to be a cape there. You'll need me. And I..."

Shit, this was Taylor's dad, right? I could trust that, right? Shit. Most fanfics kind of glaze over him, or some other shit. I don't recall much about him at all.

"Sir. I'm a cape. I can help you."

That did catch his attention.

Green eyes grew cloudy as they weighed the situation.

"...Fine. Ok. But if you get in over your head. I still want you to run."

"Ok."

I lied.

Lying is easy. They always were.

There was a mexican standoff of sorts going once we arrived, the screech of breaking tires turning heads as Danny and I quickly made our way to the Dockworker Union's side. He didn't even turn his engine off.

"Well fuck. The big man of the union. What's up cracker? You ready to let ma men through so they can find that porkbun faced wanker that shot me?"

Skidmark.

Oh this was just great.

I activated Power Sight to see a fragment of gold glowing from within Skidmark's skull. It was actually at a state where it was (I somehow could see and feel this instinctively) no where near budding. But it gave off a sort of radiant flame like energy. Then it flickered towards me, as Power Hub activated.

A small spark of flame radiated, breaking apart as it fluttered around my shard's Negenthropic flame. It reached almost yearning until my shard's flame as mine let out flickering tendrils to guide the power around me.

I didn't feel a thing when Power Hub made contact with Skidmark's Speed Zones [Inertia Amplifying Layered Boundaries] and had that power orbit around the essence of my Negenthropic shard.

But the small, orbiting flame?

It flowed with joy like a man seeing God for the first time. A reason for existence itself.

The longer Power Hub is active and the more powers in it's vicinity, you may draw upon the foreign power's experience to take your own energies and consolidate them into Entropy Fragments. Said Fragments can replace either Character or Shard Points.

It was more of a feeling than anything. Something niggling in the back of my head. Something instinctual that told me that having Negenthropy MEANT more than what the format of the CYOA had decided... but that shouldn't have been possible.

Mine was supposed to be a dead shard. So nothing was supposed to be instinctive... right?  
My musings, however, were quckly broken.

"-hey, big man, listen to me when... the fuck with the LED eye sh-"

His eyes began widening in realization. Fuck. Well, whatever. Element of surprise and all that good rot.

I leapt forwards, the wood of the docks underneath my feet letting out a spray of wooden fragments as I shot forwards fifteen feet with a flying knee kick, the bottom of my shoes glowing a dull blue.

The instant acceleration was almost too much for Skidmark who shot backwards in a desperate attempt to dodge.

The tip of my shoes grazed his lips and nose, sending debris into his airways making him cough.

It was enough of a distraction for me to plant my foot back down on solid ground with my left foot and bleed all of my current momentum into spinning around and landing a roundhouse kick on Skidmark's waist with all the grace of a Wuxia novel character.

The head of the Merchants waved his arm about and tried to deflect the kick with a pinkish purple barrier, but he was still sent flying into the water. Didn't matter to me as long as he was within 100 meters of me to keep Power Hub going.

"THEY'VE GOT A FUCKING CAPE!"

One of the druggies near where I landed flicked open a flip knife on me and thrust awkwardly.

Even though his movement wasn't fluid, his aim was actually pretty good, I had to give him that. My left arm struck upwards, hand curled down as it crushed his wrist from below with a crane's neck blow.

He screamed in pain as the knife flew up into the air.

The steel shone in the moonlight, the turning of the black flickering silver.  
Once. Twice.

THUNK

It buried itself into the docks tip first.

God I've always wanted to say this one-liner!

"They have no need to fear. For I AM HERE! COME AT ME, VILLAINS!"

Lord help me, for I havth weeb'd.

I don't know if they lacked survival instincts, were that loyal to a drug lord like Skidmark, or something else. All I know that was for me the next ten minutes was an endless flow of fists and kicks.

Knives dug into my flesh.

Bats and clubs cracked and sometimes broke bone.

I just kept moving.

A low kick to bust out someone's kneecap, spun around to elbow some in the jaw. I felt bone and cartilege shatter upon impact. Skidmark's Speed Zones allowed me to make an impossible sliding sidesteps allowing me to dodge and reposition myself for almost anything. It was so exhilarating that I almost missed a glint of polished steel, but my head jerked on instinct, leaning my head away from another stabbing knife, taking two stabs in the back as I uppercut the dumbass that tried stabbing my eyes out.

After a minute or two of flailing about Skidmark tried to push himself out of the water, but I pulled him up by his wrist, ignoring the knife that he pulled stabbing deep into the forearm and bicep of the arm lifting him up.

Then sparta kicked him another thirty feet into the bay as he skipped once across the surface of the water.

A wooden bat splintered as it cracked against the back of my head, making it ring, but not preventing me from lashing out with a wild donkey kick. My foot dug into fleshy belly as I heard somebody retch out their previous meal.

Holy shit everything hurt.  
Holy shit Martial Arts Skill was amazing with my enhanced strength.

I still wasn't anywhere close to being equal to having picked up the Brute: Do You Even Lift power, but it was enough to kick a whole LOT of ass.

I even stood there and let them hit me with a crowbar, an aluminum bat, and rusty pipe before they realized that I was just standing there and letting them hit me on purpose.

I didn't move, but the facemask covered my mouth so they couldn't see me grit my teeth at the pain. I had dozens of cuts and bruises that had healed over, but it still hurt WHEN they hit me. Even if I had already Rocky roided up to the point that they couldn't BUDGE me when the hit me with their noodle-y arms.

Well.

Most arms are noodle-y compared to mine right now.

"I will give you all a chance, villains. The only personage that has been harmed today by your hands is me. Leave your injured here for detainment and proper medical attention. Should you do so I will allow you to leave without any further bloodshed."

I stepped forwards.

They all took a step back.

"I'm sure that we can all come to a peaceful solution. If you agree, please. Drop your weapons."

Thunks and clangs rang out as the jittery ones just began hoofing it out of there.

Ignoring the screeching of a certain wet rat demanding that they stay and fight, the rest of them began to do the same. Maybe if I didn't just beat twenty people into human pulp they'd have listened. Or if they had another cape with them. But the remaining twenty, twenty-five?

Well, they were the type to look after number 1.

After confirming that they weren't going to double back for their busted up buddies, I dove into the bay to fish Skidrat out.

Fucker still had another knife and stabbed me a few times as I dragged him up onto land. I didn't bother stopping him. It hurt like hell, but my body (I don't know if it was because of Rocky or not) had become more resilient and resistant to pain. It was more like a puppy getting too playful while teething than any real harm with my regeneration.

If he just wanted to make me stronger, than whatever.

I did find satisfaction when I slammed him down on the deck of the docks with enough force to knock him the fuck out.

"Phew... Well that settles things." I turned to the Dockworker's Union and Danny who all looked more than a little shocked and more than a little concerned about my physical condition. "Is everybody on your end ok, Mr. Hebert? It's hard to keep track of where everyone is in the middle of a skirmish."

"Kid, you uh... still have..." he gestured to a few body parts on his own form.

"Oh." I still had like, four knives stuck in me, "I forgot about those."

I pulled them out and dropped them on the ground. Wanted to dump them in the bay, but... well. Both littering and evidence is a thing.

"We should, uh. Call 911?"

"Uh, yeah." Danny nodded stiffly, "We probably should."

END

AN2: When you just wanna go PLUS ULTRA but remember that your very existence is already slowly becoming a meme.

Also I has Pat reon (which needs updating, tbh, but still) come say hi.

AN3: SPOILERS FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KNOW MY CYOA BUILD

Gestation Timeline

Vigilante Archetype - Anti-Villain Vigilante (aka Villain hunting independent)

Drop In SI (No Identity Standard)

Body Suit (Current Plan: Deadpool's Suit)

Skills: Martial Arts, Marksmanship, Banter, Parkour, Strategy, Investigation, Stealth (TBH I wanted first aid, then I slapped myself. REGEN. Also I ALREADY KNOW FIRST AID lol)

"Dead" Shard (Cauldron Vial)

Perks: Second Trigger (x2), Plot Convenience, Secret Lair, Negenthropy

Flaws: Worst Day Ever (x3), Rough Start, Slaughterhouse 9, Endbringer Target, Humble Beginnings

Gift: New Bank of Negenthropy (Custom, Because tbh Negenthropy = infinite power, and I didn't like any of the other Gifts. Essentially, I'm going to use the fact that my shard has Negenthropy and Power Hub to SLOWLY "feed" {read: Better learn to use BS Shard Energy/Powers} off the presence/experiences of other people's shards, essentially learning how to better tap/use it's infinite powersource.)

Powers: BRUTE 5+ [Peak Condition, Rocky w/2nd Trigger, Regeneration w/2nd Trigger], Breaker 2 [Immunity] (PRT will probably link this with Brute set as 1 power), Changer 0/1 [Cosmetic Shapeshift] (This isn't even on the level of a recognized cape power lol), Trump 4 [Power Sight, Power Hub]

Vigilante Equipment/Perk: Supply Line

BTW, the ratings on these package sets are subject to change, I'd honestly like to hear what you guys think this powerset scores as I am rather new to the Worm scene. 


	3. Y'all Gon' Make Me Act A Fool Up In Here

AN: I don't normally update this fast, I swear. Don't hurt me officer.

* * *

BEGIN

The dockworkers were more than happy to dig up some zip ties to cuff up the injured Merchants. Almost gleeful as they tied up the already battered and beaten gang members.

None of them were injured to the point of needing immediate first air or medical attention, but their hospital fees were gonna be... man I felt chills just thinking about it. If Panacea didn't live in this town, this would be something terrible.

Regardless, I wasn't actually ready for how many people wanted to thank me and shake my hand.

Honestly, I had thought that more people would have been concerned or scared about how I just juggernaut-ed my way through the fight, but I suppose I had won their trust by being brought in by Danny Hebert alone. I mean, there were an equal number of men joshing and celebrating with him after all. It was funny how obviously awkward Danny was about all the attention, but everyone else was just too happy to notice, I suppose.

Not that I was blaming them. If the Archer whatever Merchant gang had taken over these docks, everyone would have been out of a job. And most CERTAINLY would ALSO be having to pay for bullshit protection and shit which would only help the drug traffic in the city. Nobody wanted that shit.

Still, my Power Sight distracted me from the current mood a little.

There were two distortions in the pseudo-flame emitting from my Shard. Like little miniature zero horizon events, they seemed to suck in all the surrounding flame, but was also producing them as if it was some sort of perpetuating process. It fed off the Shard just as much as it provided to the Shard's radiance.

As my eyes began to burn, I pulled away. My instincts told me that no more Entropy Fragments could be derived from the presence of the thin band of golden flame left from being in Skidmark's presence. The gold seemed more static than before, as if all the motion and life it had before was no more. Something about lack of knowledge, experimentation, experience. My Shard could no longer sympathize with its growth and history.

Now if I could just figure out how to spend these fragments...

When I closed my eyes to ponder, that's when it hit me like a truck full of bricks. Somehow I could envision all of the powers from the CYOA, but some of them were blacked out. Unable to be accessed. Like X-Ray, the reason being that I already had a [ **Transcendental Optical Phenomenon** ] and I'd have to give up my old Power for a new one. Except to remove powers also COST fragments, albeit half of the needed points to purchase them rounded up.

Still, I decided to pick up Pocket Room.

Like a supernova, one of the distortions seemed to expand in a whole new way, refracting in every spectrum of light that I could and could not comprehend.

Suddenly I was aware of another sense that felt inside a small empty pocket dimension where I could store whatever the hell I wanted.

A grin threatened to split my face. I mean, come on. It's a Hammer Space. An Inventory. A [ **Spiritually Sympathetic Sub-Dimensional Container** ] and what the fuck are these quantific-

My thoughts were interrupted by a man appearing like the fucking Flash.

It was just a streak of red that stopped in a way that ignored all the natural laws of inertia.

My Power Vision explained it all.

He was dressed in a fully red bodysuit with racing stripes down the sides of it. I knew enough about Velocity to know that there should be two more racing stripes that formed a V somewhere on this front side. His shard was Gold and... also disappointingly not very close to blooming. Still I suppose that [ **Personal Time-State Dilation/Distortion State** ] which from the outside just looks like superspeed with a bunch of limitations is hard to experiment with anyways.

A spark of his flame sectioned off and began rotating around mine still, and it was good to know I'd still get some more Entropy Fragments tonight. Hopefully.

"Well you really did a number on these guys." Velocity whistled before turning to me, "I'm actually surprised that you managed to take them down all non-leth-HOLY CRAP. Are you ok? Do you need medical attention?!"

I shook my head.

"Oh, it just looks much worse than it is." I said as I pulled my right sleeve back to show him that everything had already healed over. "I rapidly regenerate from injuries. And I'm tough enough to deal with a little pain."

"A little?!" Danny broke away from his friends to join me, "Jo-Jesus kid, they stabbed you over a dozen times! Not to mention how many blunt objects they broke or..." he looked down at a metal bat bent at a 60 degree angle "...the point is there wasn't anything little about it!"

"Mr. Hebert-"

"Danny. Or Daniel, if you prefer. You saved our asses from a big fire, kid. No need to call me mister."

I shook my head as needless asian values kicked in, muddling social situations for me, as usual.

"Sir, you saved my life. I can't just-"

Velocity coughed interrupting the humblefest we had going on.

"I'm sure there is quite the story to tell here, but looks like backups here to pick up the Merchant goons. And Skidmark. He's a slippery guy. Honestly, I'm a little surprised you caught him."

Dark blue armored trucks with a logo that spelt out PRT arrived as Velocity finished his words. PRT troopers stomped out and began double checking injuries as they recuffed the Merchants with actual cuffs and began loading them up.

"Ok, now, I don't mean any harm by this, but would you mind coming in for some quick questions?"

PRT Cliche number 1! Bring in independents every time to shout propaganda at them.

Still, "I don't mind... but, uh... you guys don't seem like policemen."

Time to play the fool.

"You've never heard of the PRT?"

"I assume that's an acronym... but I don't know what that means."

Technically true. I probably read out what it said somewhere, but I sure as hell don't remember.

Velocity looked at me through his domino mask before coming to his own conclusion.

"Oh the eyes... you're a Case 53?"

"I'm a what?"

"Do you remember anything? Anyone?"

Oh shit this was funny. Now I HAVE to know how far I can take it.

"...My accent is not native to this area. I have deduced that it is Californian. I don't know how I arrived in Brockton Bay."

This is working for me. And they set up 53s with IDs right? 2 birds. 1 stone.

Danny put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, it's going to be ok, kid."

I let my Power Sight flicker off for a second before turning it back on... Actually it took more conscious effort to turn it off than on. Huh.

That's odd.

"Do you mind if I come with J- I mean, the kid? I think he could use a little support."

"Mr. Hebert... no, I... thank you, Danny... sir."

He laughed politely as he clapped my shoulder.

I heard a faint buzzing on what must have been Velocity's headset. He made the beginning of what was a disgusted face before schooling his features... and flicking the headset off.

"Yeah. Sounds good. After you."

A PRT Medic rushed his/her way over to me, offering medical assistance.

Velocity waved her off with the words, "C53. Brute with Regeneration."

The Medic paused, nodded nervously, and walked off.

Ah, I forgot. Most Case 53s are called Monster Capes for a reason.

PRT vehicles got to ignore traffic like cop cars, I noted as we headed for the Rig. Danny took the opportunity to borrow a cellphone to call home and let Taylor know everything was ok.

Maybe I was remembering something wrong, but I was expecting to head over to the Rig. And drive on a fucking FORCE FIELD road.

Force field roads man! Thats SciFi as hell!

I mean, the Rig was just TOO visible, you know? I was looking forward to seeing that goddamn city of tomorrow looking sunuvabitch.

But no. The Rig isn't he PRT Headquarters. Headquarters was located downtown. With the prisons.

You have a near impregnable fortress out in open water like MOTHERFUCKING SCI-FI AZKABAN and YOU'RE NOT USING IT AS A SUPER PRISON?! Read a Marvel comic for Christ's sake.

No wonder Lung gets busted out in canon. Holy shit people are stupid.

We stepped out of the PRT transport truck and made our way inside. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see a whole line of Merchants being led in another direction, moaning and groaning about their injuries.

I didn't feel guilty at all. And I didn't know if that was good or not.

I mean, they did stab me upwards two dozen times and tried to beat the hell out of me. But even back in middle school when I got in two of the biggest scraps in my life (and came out on top) I still had some lingering guilt.

Maybe I was more jaded now that I was older? Or I was a nicer guy when I was younger? Or was it the parental disapproval?

Fuck. This isn't the time for existential crisis, Joe. Get your head together.

"Velocity here. I've got the new cape that took down Skidmark and a bunch of Merchant grunts. And his, uh, current guardian."

I winced inwardly.

Did I really look that young?

Honestly it was at the point where I wanted to deny it, but I hadn't done anything to prove otherwise. It would be really awkward. Especially for Danny.

Ah well.

New life, new me I guess.

I feel like fucking Toby Maguire in the Sam Raimi Spiderman trilogy all of a sudden.

We were screened through some sort of future metal detector that was less embarrassing looking than the ones in modern airports. Those giant plasti-glass tubes that had that had the plastic encased scanners spin around you 180 degrees and probably xray search your rectal cavities? This was like one of those old school rectangular door frames... but then it shone a light over me in a horizontal line that went up and down as if it was looking for some sort of bar code.

I bet you Armsmaster is looking for stuff in people's rectal cavities with it.

Positive.

Dude totally has to have an anal fetish.

Velocity led us to an elevator that was encased in what looked like some sort of glass tube. We rose rapidly without a lurch of motion that was normally expected of a normal elevator. We got to see a lot of curious sights as we reached our destination, even seeing what must have been the Wards running some kind of exercise drills. But nothing related to Tinkers or Thinkers.

The elevator was probably designed for a mixture of awe and operational security.

Once we reached the top, the door opened into a large room. A large, heavy set blonde woman sat at the end of a table that wouldn't have been out of place at a board meeting. Or Evangelion.

I was surprised to see that it wasn't Mister Icon himself (Armsmaster), but Miss Militia that was currently at the large blonde woman's (Probably Director Piggot, I then recalled) side.

There was a sudden weight in my pocket and I knew that it was (somehow) a knuckle duster.

There were two bands of golden flame orbiting my own now, and ride here had been enough for a new Entropy fragment and most of a second one. Miss Militia's presence alone was enough to jump-start the formation of the second one. Her flame was the brightest one that I had seen so far, and her Shard seemed to have bloomed already, but had closed itself back up.

That was odd.

Something in my Shard told me that they weren't supposed to be able to do that...

"...Velocity. Thank you for bringing our new friend to the Rig. My name is Emily Piggot. The head of the Brockton Bay Protectorate Branch."

"And I am Miss Militia." Her voice was soft and smooth, like turkish chocolate or coffee. "It's a pleasure."

"I'm, uh, I suppose I don't have a codename like you and Velocity."

"That won't matter for our current situation." Piggot said curtly, "Please, take a seat."

Danny and I looked at each other before shrugging and awkwardly slipping into-

HOLY SHIT.

"This is the most comfortable chair I've ever sat it, I think... ah..." I sank into the leather cushions, eyes fluttering sleepily. "Wow... just wow..."

There was a faint huff of air from Miss Militia, probably holding back a bit of laughter.

Piggot looked like she almost wanted to roll her eyes, but she kept going.

"It's rare for a Case 53, even rarer for those under the age of adulthood. But we here at the Protectorate have always taken juvenile safety seriously." Piggot said, "Have you decided on a personal private name?"

Uh... on one hand sharing my name seems like a bad idea... but...

Danny gave me a helpless shrug.

I sighed. Whatever, I'll just deal with things as they come. Even though I have no plans of joining the PRT, I still might as well stay on friendly terms.

I pulled off my hood and mask.

"I, uh, decided my name should be Joe Lee." Not a lie, I had been given the option to choose my american name by my parents a long time ago. "Joe and Lee are both common enough names and, well, I can speak some Korean for some reason or the other. Lee's a common Korean name, I think? It works for me."

Piggot jot something down on a piece of paper, grunting something to herself.

"That'll work. So. Any other physical traits we should note when trying to set you up with a proper identity?"

"Uh... I don't have body hair?"

Velocity coughed into his elbow.

Miss Militia just raised an eyebrow.

"...Is that all?" Piggot seemed tired already. What's with that?

"Nothing else I WANT to talk about."

"...I suppose that's fair enough. You're lucky enough to be one of the more human looking Case 53s. A pair of sunglasses or contacts should solve the most pressing issue."

"Yeah I can force it to stop glowing, but not for long."

"...Noted." Piggot scratched out something else on her papers, "Also, we would like to test your powers and have you join the Wards. Once that is done, then we can look into sorting out your housing issue."

Oh sneaky bitch.

"What're the Wards?"

She blinked as I interrupted her, seeming that she hadn't expected any questions. Bitch please.

"They are a junior branch of the Protectorate for those under the age of 18. They serve the city while under PRT protection."

"...What would happen if they came across a villain during a patrol."

"Naturally, they would hold back and wait for reinforcements before engaging."

"...Even if there were people in danger? If their restraint and caution cost the lives of innocents?"

Piggot narrowed her eyes at me. She seemed to chew her words before coming to some sort of decision. Something about the way she spit out her next words felt like a test. Or challenge.

"Yes."

"Then I cannot. How could I stand back and do nothing when people are in danger?"

"You have to understand that there is much more to consider than-"

"Of course there is. There is always more to consider. But if someone was in trouble in front of me, where my arms could reach, and I did not, then I would be responsible for what followed BECAUSE I DID NOT ACT. It would be because I had the power to protect him and I did not! Because with great power, comes great responsibility! Because it is not wrong to save people!"

Take the chuuni. TAKE ALL THE CHUUNI. SPIDER-MAN, EMIYA, AND ALL MIGHT EAT YOUR HEART OUT!

Miss Militia didn't make any overt moves, but her fingers did twitch as if they had tried itching at one of the weapons in her arsenal. Probably for instinct than actual intent on doing anything.

Piggot on the other hand was staring at me in the oddest way. Something between stupefied and disbelief probably. I don't know. She has a pretty good poker face and I'm not great at reading people's emotions anyways.

"...I see. Well. Still, do consider it. Most independents die or are gang pressed within the first six months of their hero careers. Still, we would recommend getting your powers tested. At least."

"I... sorry. Yeah. Sounds good. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell... Honestly, I don't really know where that just came from." I just wanted to make it clear that I didn't want to be a Ward, not go full chuuni.

Earth Bet is doing some weird shit to me, man...

* * *

"...Well that was interesting."

The Director snorted in what I have come to understand as a grudging agreement. The new Case 53 was definitely different.

Although clearly asian, his features were almost ethereal. Too handsome from one angle. Too pretty from another. Perhaps it might be best he not join the Wards merely because of his inhuman attractiveness.

His eyes glowing like glorious galaxies did not help, I supposed. They reminded me of the dream. When God saved me, sent his angel down and granted me the power to become more than what I once was...

I suppose it was only natural that the Director would feel that the young man was dangerous.

She had Armsmaster listen in through hidden cameras while running his lie detecting algorithm, after all.

"So, Armsmaster? Anything we should be worried about?"

"...His beliefs are dangerous. The algorithm still needs tuning, but the data is certain that he does genuinely believes in what he said. And he certainly hasn't said anything that clearly constitutes a lie. But his idealism is firmly rooted. As if he constantly was taking in propaganda or media that took these values as fact... It doesn't help that his power set seems to be that of a high Brute rating that lets him keep fighting endlessly... It's too early to be sure, but from what the dock workers are saying, his regeneration might be on a level where bullets aren't even a real threat. And there's something about his eyes that makes me nervous. Like he can see something we cant."

The Director nodded, but seemed to be distracted.

She muttered under her breath.

And I was sure I heard something that I should not have.

Because there was no point in drowning in the doubt of "what if"s.

* * *

While I wasn't immune to bullets, knives, and blunt force trauma, I certainly was immune to fire and ice. And acid. And poison and... fuck I picked up Immunity, alright?

But it's not like I could just explain that to these crazy scientists.

My clothes had already become worthless due to the tests I went through and I was just uncomfortably covering my genitals while being bombast-ed with some genuinely horribly smelling things.

Their response to me complaining about the smell was to hose me down. Then jot down how I wasn't shivering when the water was at near freezing.

Eventually I was given a towel and a few complimentary black lower face masks.

The fuck was I, Kakashi?

Still, it was snug and comfortable. And surprisingly breathable. All good enough for me.

"Miss Shadow Stalker, you can't just enter the tes-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just gonna take a look at the new guy and make sure he's up to parrrr..."

Oh no.

Sophie fucking Hess, dressed to the nines in her Shadow Stalker outfit. Black skintight outfit. There was black body armor strapped on over that which didn't take away from her natural curves. Well except maybe her chest. I assume she was about average on that front. But she had a billowy cloak made of dark grey/black urban camo and a black mask that made it seem like she was looking down on others.

And she was staring at me like a hyena seeing a particularly juicy cut of meat.

God. I had never been looked at like a piece of meat before...

How do girls put up with this?

Fuck it. Confidence is half the battle.

I sighed as I scratched the back of my neck, corded muscle _shifting_ and _coiling_ as I moved.

"Can I help you?" My back stretched and I reared up to an impressive six foot three. I hadn't had the chance to get measured since I transformed. (Is it weird that THIS was the thing that made me the most excited? More than superpower? Fuck it was good to be tall. My balance was a tad off sometimes, but Martial Arts Skill and Peak Condition really made that negligible.)

She shifted her weight on one leg as her mask gazed up and down at my form.

"...Yeah I can think of a few things you could help me with."

Fucking teens.

...

I meant that as in (Pft. Fucking teenage hormones) rather than- you know what I mean!

"Hey! Shadow Stalker! You can't just- oh wow."

A young blonde girl in a domino mask appears!

Fight PKMon

Item Run

YOU CANNOT RUN.

This is really not safe for- what the fuck was that?

Did nobody else see that? Was that... No. What the fuck was... I think I'm hallucinating. I need some rest. I ain't a goddamn noctis cape.

Fuck. I already don't understand what's happening.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took in a deep breath, sighing as I let it out.

Apparently even me BREATHING was enough to get nervous giggles out what who I ASSUME must be Vista.

Fuck me sideways with a rusty wrench.

Fucking teenagers.

END

* * *

AN2: A nigga's gotta Pat reon cuz he need to pay for groceries


	4. Enter: The Dragon (AKA Going Full Weeb)

AN1: I feel like writing a bunch of smaller, shorter chapters is actually kinda working for me. Although I do prefer (aesthetically and and as a reader) longer chapters that are like 6k+ words. I think I'll take this Worm fic a little more casually like this though.

The pacing feels better for me when I'm writing, even if it doesn't come out on paper as good as it feels for me.

Also, I understand some people don't like the fact that my shard gains additional powers. My points are that 1, Negenthropy.

You have infinite powerthat BREAKS THE LAW OF PHYSICS.

Uuuuuuuuuusssssseeeeee iiiiiiiiiit. I mean, why not? That's just kind of the logical thing.

2, Still less broken than UNLIMITED SHARD WORKS. I'm actually surprised that it's a thing. Because you can get essentially, ALL THE POWERS. Especially if you 2nd Trigger it. Actually disgusting.

My Power Hub version essentially forces my character to be NEAR other Shard hosts for prolonged periods (like 10mins for a fragment, which if they're FIGHTING?! Oh boy.) which I though kind of fit well with the whole Shards normally are there to cause conflict theme (even though I chose the dead shard version... well. More like Meme Zombie shard at this point, but still)

3, I've already set it so that I can't have too many powers from any specific section. And that some of them interfere/don't allow the purchase of other powers.

Examples being:

Power Sight fucked with XRay

Regen/Rocky negate Broken Limiter (aka can't purchase)

I can choose 1 tinker specialty only, even though I can get blueprints of the other specializations by buying the power at an extra cost, I'd never get that top tier shit.

I know I'm a bit of a spaz, but I _have_ put a little thought into this system, simplistic as it might be.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

It would take a full week for my ID to be made.

In the meantime I would be given a stipend to live off of and an apartment room not to far from where the Heberts lived, as Danny was the only guy I trusted enough not to stab me in the back.

I didn't know shit about Armsmaster, but I KNOW that he fucked (not literally) Skitter in the back.

That was something pretty much all the fanfics I read made clear.

If that's any sort of indication about what CAN happen... well.

It's paranoia inducing, I'll say that much.

What was good was the fact that I wasn't going to Arcadia, but the shithole that is Winslow.

God please help me prevent the locker incident.

They probably have it in their heads that after fighting off every ABB wannabe and a half, I'll be begging to switch to Arcadia.

Ugh.

I forgot that I was gonna be hanging out with angsty teens...

...I'm gonna regret this aren't I?

Well, whatever. What's important is that some of my funds are being used to help out the Heberts.

Even if it's only for my own mental security, it's worth it.

Because the Heberts have value to the PRT based off of their connection to me. If bullying reports come up, something might _actually_ be done about it.

At least I hope it does. It better. Because if I have to go back to HIGHSCHOOL for this shit and it doesn't pan out?

I'm going to have to get a costume for a 1 shot villain episode. Fuck. I could probably get in contact with Uber and Leet and just go fucking Blaskowicz and hit up a major Empire base and just fucking go full on Attack on Castle Wolfenstein.

Actually I should make a 2nd alter ego when I have to skirt around the law anyways. Note to self. Save this plan.

Speaking of which I should really get into figuring out where the hell my secret base and outfits are anyways. That's actually kind of a biggie.

"Well, regardless, in the meantime..." I opened up a laptop and opened up the browser... "Huh. Bing is the Google of Earth Bet. Who'd have known."

I typed in the words Parahumans Online and hit search. Instantly the link appeared at the top of the search page and I clicked with all the furiosity of a million fanboys.

"Hello, Joe."

"WhATFOIDNSODNF!"

I fell over as what looked like a Matrix text rendition of a woman's face appeared on my screen.

"Ha ha. No need to be so surprised, Mr. Lee. I am Dragon. I work with the Protectorate."

Oh sure, yeah don't panic when FUCKING DRAGON IS ON MY LAPTOP!

"I'm afraid you have me at a loss here..."

Dragon chuckled, "Oh, don't worry. I just figured that a new Case 53 could use a hand with getting proper accounts set up. I already have two ready for you, they just need proper usernames. One for your Cape Persona, and a civilian one."

Is this the PRT trying to keep tabs on my web usage? Probably. Fuck it, I can always make more accounts.

"Oh, ok. Thanks. That... that's actually really kind of you. So I just need to decide a username? Hmm..."

I really wanted to have a funny username, but that's not necessarily good PR conducive. Maybe I can use TheRegenerateDegenerate as a villain/vigilante name? Fuck, might as well call myself Deadpool and be done with it at that poin... huh. That could work actually. Note to self. See if Deadpool is a thing on Earth Aleph. If it is not, MAKE DEADPOOL an alter ego.

Shit, stop derailing. (FUCK YOU I WANNA BE DEADPOOL) Hero name. Hero name...

I could never do the name justice, but is ALL MIGHT available? If it is... that would be such a fanboy move... Still, memes aside, I need something serious. Something that can become iconic...

Something SUPER PR friendly that makes it hard for the PRT to twist if it comes to it.

Savior? Ugh. That might cause a cult issue. I don't need that.

Paragon? Seems more pretentious than heroic to me. Still... Might not be too bad though.

Paladin? Mmmm. If I get Surgeon I can pretend that it's Lay on Hands, ha ha. That could be funny.

Juggernaut? Maybe not heroic enough. Feels more villainy. Or I read too much XMen.

Galactic? Galacticus? Galaxy? Could work with the eyes. And my Shard certainly has enough energy to be a Galaxy. Huh. I need flight for that though. Or so it feels, thematically. But I don't want a suit that looks like the milky way galaxy.

GAH! TOO MANY THOUGHTS.

When in doubt and in a pit. Dig deeper and GO FULL WEEB.

"...Is All Might taken?"

I hereby swear to do my best to live up to that name... especially in costume.

"Oh, aiming high, are we?"

"It's best to. I want something that stands out. Something to reassure people. To show them that there is hope. _For I am here_."

Dragon's face (is it a face? I know she's some sort of AI, but-) didn't move, even though the code that made it kept flowing all Matrix style.

"I see." she said, after a while, "That is a kind dream."

"Someone has to dream of it."

"I suppose you're not wrong. Alright. Here is your account information for your Cape Account. And your civilian username?"

I shrugged, "Negenthropy."

It looked like Dragon raised a brow at me, but helped without a fuss.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, _All Might_." Dragon smiled kindly, "I look forward to working with you."

"You too. Thanks for all the help."

"And one last thing. I'm going to send you a link. You should take a look at it. You're in it after all."

"Oh. I am? Ok, thank you."

What the hell could I be in?

So I logged in.

* * *

 **Welcome to the Parahumans Online Message Boards**

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 **Topic: Brockton Bay Dockworker's Union Thanks New Cape!**

 **In: Boards ► News ► Events ► America**

► **It'sAlwaysLegDayInBrocktonBay** (Dockworker's Union)

Posted on September 1st 2010

The Dockworker's Union would like to publicly thank the newest Cape in Brockton Bay for saving us from the Merchant's attempt at expanding their territory!

From keeping the Merchants focused solely on himself and preventing any civilian casualty/injuries and even letting the ones who didn't fight (who were probably gangpressed anyways) leave in peace at the end.

We thank you for preventing any further conflict from escalating.

And also for kicking Skidmark twice into the ocean. That was cathartic as hell.

It's always good to know that a no good drug lord like Skidmark is rotting in jail where he belongs.

EDIT: The opinions above referring to member of the Archer's Bridge Merchants do not speak for the whole of the Dockworker's Union. Any and all Libel/Slander towards any individual is simply of a personal opinion of an individual person.

► **IntrospectiveThinker**

Posted on September 1st 2010

Wait what? I heard some PRT vans last night near the docks, but they were also responding to gang skirmishes everywhere in the city. Already got sad news about civilian casualties and property damage galore.

Something actually good happened to a part of Brockton Bay for once?

► **BornOn420** (Temp-Banned)

Posted on September 1st 2010

[This message has been deleted due to: Excessive Profanity and Promises of Personal Harm]

 **USER HAS RECEIVED A TEMPORARY BAN FOR THIS POST**

 **TinMother: Calls to violence and excessive profanity are not acceptable. Enjoy your temp-ban.**

► **ONI-Belle** (Unverified Felinid)

Posted on September 1st 2010

You'd think that Merchants could think of a username WITHOUT 420 in it...

What's the new cape like, anyways?

► **PadawanD**

Posted on September 1st 2010

I had my phone out (was with my dad) and thought that we were just gonna get in a big brawl to protect the docks.

Then this goliath comes out of the car with the Dockworker's Union leader and... holy shit.

Just watch the video **HERE**

► **LeYodaX**

Posted on September 1st 2010

Dude... DUDE. It looks like he got stabbed in the neck two separate times! What is he a zombie?!

And Skidmark getting sparta kicked and SKIPPING across the water made my fucking day!

► **Ollie-Man** (Pro-Skater)

Posted on September 1st 2010

Radical.

► **XxVoid_CowboyxX** (2 Strikes)

Posted on September 1st 2010

Dude gives me chills. No homo.

For I am here. Dude can come save me. My homework is terrifying.

► **MGunner** (Cape Groupie) (1 Strike)

Posted on September 1st 2010

You're homework isn't terrifying. You're just stupid. It's ok. We'll all speak slowly for you XxVoid_CowboyxX

 **USER HAS RECEIVED AN INFRACTION FOR THIS POST**

 **TinMother: Now that's just not nice. Play nice everyone!**

► **XxVoid_CowboyxX** (3 Strikes, You're Temp-Banned!)

Posted on September 1st 2010

[This message has been deleted due to: Profanity]

 **USER HAS RECEIVED A TEMPORARY BAN FOR THIS POST**

 **TinMother: There's no need to go there, even if you were goaded. Enjoy your time out.**

► **Honorable** (PHO Moderator)

Posted on September 1st 2010

Come on guys, let's all be mature here.

Also the cape in the video didn't scream in pain ONCE... that's some real pain tolerance there.

► **Coyote-C**

Posted on September 1st 2010

Yeah, and let's stay on topic while we're at it. Thank god Void got temp-banned before he could derail this thread like he always does.

What's important is that we have a new cape that WIPED Skidmark before that guy could do anything significant. (Did you see that guy just get stabbed twice in the arm and just KICK that drug lord wannabe? God, that makes me so happy to see that. I made a gif of it **HERE** )

► **BloodMarksTheSpot**

Posted on September 1st 2010

Cathartic GIF is Cathartic. Just wish the camera quality was better.

► **PadawanD**

Posted on September 1st 2010

To be fair it was just my phone. *Shrugs* Next time I'll bring a professional camera. And hire a butler to wipe your ass.

► **BloodMarksTheSpot**

Posted on September 1st 2010

Good. Dew it, young Padawan. PadawanD

► **HalflingOfTheSTORM**

Posted on September 1st 2010

What I want to know is why he let them go so easy at the end. Not that I'm talking smack. Just seems odd that he let them go so easily.

Look at that fight. He could have totally kicked ALL of their collective butts. Think it's a power limitation and that he was bluffing?

► **All_Might** (Verified Cape)

Posted on September 1st 2010

I didn't think it necessary for there to be any further bloodshed. I already had Skidmark in a state where I didn't have to worry about civilian casualties when subduing him. The docks had been secured and enough time had passed that the authorities were close to the scene.

Some people are where they are because nobody else offered them a chance at redemption. I just hope that they take the opportunity to rethink their current life choices. Or reach out to the proper authorities if they are stuck in a situation when just rethinking isn't enough.

And It'sAlwaysLegDayInBrocktonBay I'm just glad to have been able to help.

► **TinMother** (PHO Moderator)

Posted on September 1st 2010

Everyone, this is All Might. The new cape that was at the Brockton Bay docks last night at 7:24 PM EST.

Please welcome kindly welcome him into our community.

► **TireSqueal** (Verified Cape)

Posted on September 1st 2010

You're gonna be ALL DEAD for what you did to Skidmark!

* * *

I snorted as who I assumed HAD to be Squealer got Temp-Banned.

...and then a doctor or nurse broke HIPAA by making an alt account just to reveal that Skidmark currently had an infection because he got shot in the balls and kept running around like a madman looking for some fat ABB guy that shot him while half high on painkillers.

Huh. That might explain WHY he was SO easy to take down.

Of course it included a link to a thread with a bunch of convoluted assumptions, racism, and anger. ABB insisting that they had nothing to do with the crazy fat asian (me) and that they had already killed him off. The Merchants and Empire were NOT having it though. Especially Hookwolf.

...

Well nothing to see here. Nope. I'm not involved at all.

No idea.

I answered a few more questions in the Dockworker thread thanking me and gawked as WHILE I was posting and responding to questions, somebody already started making a wiki page on me.

What the fuck?

I didn't say shit about my powers aside from: "Yeah, I can take a hit." and "I punch hard."

Well whatever.

I looked at the Enthropy shards floating around me. 1 left from Skidmark, 2 from Velocity (I got a little 1 on 1 time with the red blur and asked him some questions about his opinions about the factions in the city), 1 (aside from the 2nd Velocity fragment she helped fill) from spending a little time around Miss Militia, 1 from Sadistic Sophie (her use of her power was too simple for more and I think only even gave 1 BECAUSE of how aggo she is), and 2 from Vista.

And I STILL needed to spend more time around Miss Militia and Vista for more.

Vista's power was so complex on a conceptual level that I could probably get 2 or 3 more fragments from her Shard and I don't even KNOW what situation Miss Militia's reverse bloom bud whatever the fuck that was...

Ugh my head hurts thinking about it, but I could consolidate more fragments by being around her.

And a weakness of Power Hub became apparent to me.

It has a range of 100 meters, but objects in the way reduce the range of it somehow. I hadn't had time enough to experience HOW it works, but I sure as hell didn't see Power Hub integrate Shadow Stalker and Vista's powers until they were right in front of me.

Maybe I have to be aware of them? Or not be in a closed off separate environment?

There's a lot more that I need to learn about my abilities and how they work.

A bit of surfing the web and and I eventually got a nicely detailed map of Brockton Bay and that's when something clicked. I shut down my laptop. Walked over to my new queen sized bed, and flopped onto it face first.

"...Fuck. My secret base is in the sewers. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

Live & Learn played from my phone, interrupting my overblown nerd rage.

I rolled over to grab my phone. Look the modern games suck ass, but Sonic has had his shares of fucking jams, ok?

"Hello? Oh, hi Mr. Heb- I mean, Danny. No I'm free. No, no I won't change my mind. Like I said. You saved my life. This much is the least I could do. I, ha, yeah. Dinner sounds great. Taylor can tell me all about Winslow. Sure, I'll definitely keep an eye on her, yeah. Ha ha. With my life, sir."

I can always look for the sewer base after food, I suppose.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: Next chapter begins with action and a bad meme.


	5. Record Scratch Freeze Frame & More!

AN: Thanks for all the feedback and comments, everyone on both SpaceBattles AND Fanfiction. Fixed something in CH3 that I didn't consider, and some of your ideas are actually pretty enlightening.

Also yes, I did take the names from some of the people who commented on my first chapter on SpaceBattles and remade them into most of the responders to the PHO bit in the prev chapter.

Like Disciple becoming PadawanD (star wars memes) and IntrospectiveTinkerer into IntrospectiveThinker etc.

Also guess who couldn't sleep last night.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-"

I promised that this new chapter would start with a combat scene right? I'm a man of my word.

I leaped up and flipped upside down, feet meeting the ceiling as I used it to reorient myself. Then I pushed off hard enough that the cement cracked like a crater as I performed a leapfrogging double axel double heel drop with my whole body mass.

Like a cannonball through a wall of mud, I burst through to the other side of what would look like a large mud/sludge golem, at my feet there was a pink goblinoid creature with a couple dozen tentacle-like protrusions.

He landed with a loud _**SHLOP**_ sound as he landed in a fatburg (imagine just ALL of the cooking oil, flush-able wipes, and other shit that you SHOULDN'T flush down a toilet, but do anyways).

"Oh look, I just gave you more material to use for your shitty improvised armor." I said cheerily as I shook of some wet foul muck from my body, "Shouldn't you be in Concker's Bad Fur Day? What, you get laid off?"

There was a roar of anger (more of a growl, but let's pretend, shall we?) as now a WHITE mucky sludge golem formed and stared at me with drippy cavities for eyes.

"Ugh. Did Lung jerk it into the toilet again? Guy's got a small dick, but big balls." I ducked under a sloppy, sludgy fist, "You gonna call him daddy now? Give him the Ghost of Children That Could Have Been treatment for Christmas?"

I back-flipped as he tried to hit me again.

"Jeez man, you're getting that shit all over me! Gross! Repeat after me, s'il vous plait! BUKKAKE SHOULD BE CONSENSUAL!" I roared as I leaped up and brought down a double axe handle, DBZ style.

A large chunk of muck blew off from sheer imact-

Then a sloppy mess grabbed me around the torso.

"The safe word is Star Wars, right? It's usually Star Wars."

The disgusting cum monster that was Mush threw me deeper into the hallway and I saw the most unholy of sights.

A giant pool of shit water.

I screamed in panic and fear as I fell towards said shit water, the glow of my eyes so bright that it allowed me to see a murky shitty reflection of my terrified face.

* * *

Whoa, whoa.

You see that guy right there?

Looks like he's hit rock bottom.

Well that guy's actually me, believe it or not... Now... I bet you're wondering how I got into this wacky situation.

It all started after getting dinner with the Heberts.

They had taken me to someplace that I had read about, like a thousand times in Worm fanfictions. You know it, you love it. It's Fugly Bob's. I can't believe that's actually what the place is called. Fucking weird Worm shit man...

I had on a pair of shades to hide my eyes and pretended to be blind. Had one of those canes for blind people and everything. Had to watch a Youtube video to brush up on it, but I had volunteered with blind people before. Enough to actually know how the cane thing worked for them and thus how to spoof that behavior.

Taylor decided it was best to guide me in the last bit of the way into the shack themed fast food joint.

Can't come to Brockton Bay without coming to Fugly Bob's they said.

I didn't even get the Challenger, just in case I couldn't finish it in a half hour (I planned on revisiting this place in the future and doing just that though. Never in my life had I the opportunity to partake in a food challenge. Not once.) considering that Danny insisted on treating me. Probably should have though. Ended up eating three burgers anyways. I don't know if Peak Condition makes me need more energy, or if it's because I've been abusing Regeneration, but once I start eating nowadays, I CHOW DOWN.

Not a bad burger, to be honest. Reminded me a bit of Whataburger and Five Guys. You know, if they had a mutant love child with thicker slabs of beef patties, complementary bacon grease butter, and a signature sauce that made me think of a slightly spicy Thousand Island dressing. So the spicy version of a generic burger sauce.

Still made it work somehow.

The place had some decent music, the atmosphere was fun, but it was odd how many people were looking my way. Sure I was wearing sunglasses at night. Sure I looked like the posterboy for a ABB propaganda art. Sure I was eating hamburgers with a fork and knife just to fuck with people-

Ok, well. Huh. Maybe that might be why actually more than my appearance. Although I'm not sure just how I really appear to other people. The CYOA said my appearance would shift into what I found attractive. But nigga I got the power of God and Anime on my side. I find a LOT of shit attractive. Mostly due to anime. And hentai.

Praise be Le Anime Pope for the hentai.

Where was I? Right. Dinner.

We had some fun, Taylor got to complain and vent about some school clique stuff that I translated into (by Taylor's words) 'Boring Adult Speech' to help Danny understand and relate to her situation a bit more. Seemed the bullying had begun and she had no idea how to bring up the fact that her best friend in the whole world suddenly went psycho due to one Sophia Hess changing her world view.

That was never quite clear to me. Fanfictions always alluded vaguely about some twisted shit about predator and prey, and that Emma was trying to turn Taylor into a predator too by pushing her to the edge? I don't fucking know, don't fucking care. All I know is that THE FOOT STOPS HERE, LADIES AND GENTLE MEN.

You shall not pass... Fly you fools.

Thank god Earth Bet still had Tolkien.

It is after the meal that things get interesting. Danny offered me a ride home, but I told him that I still had something I had to do, and no it wasn't patrolling. Mostly getting the lay of the land, which wasn't wrong (that was exactly what I was doing) but I sure as hell didn't mention no secret hide out nor did I bring up the fact I needed to go sewer diving.

Fuck man, I didn't WANT to go sewer diving. But the problem was two-fold.

I needed to know how to access the base, and I needed to know my way around the sewers so that I could get to the base quickly from multiple locations in the city.

God in heaven this was gonna suck. Pocket Room allowed me to put away unnecessary shit and switch into a temporary costume. Worker's filter facemask, a generic hoodie, and a song in my heart and a dream in my pocket... dimension.

What I didn't expect was to run face first into Mush.

I probably also shouldn't have began singing the I Am The Great Mighty Poo song.

That, uhm. Well, let's say I was in the wrong this time, yeah?

* * *

"I SAID let's say that I was in the wrong this time! Stop dipping me into the shit water! You HAVE to have realized by the third dunk, I'm just HUMORING you, right?" I screeched, tired of this shit. Literally. I mean, our fight was more than enough proof that I could tear out of his sludge and I let him dip me upside down, into the shit water, like a FUCKING candle for the third time.

A white and brown (urp.) sludgy shoulders moved up and down.

"Yeah, but then you started monologue. You know that's technically the villain's shtick right?"

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

"... Touche." He dropped me back off on the edge of the sewers we were in, dropping me on the edge. "Was supposed to gather up shit so when I found you, I could give you a hard time. Squealer's been a bit pissy since boss entered the slammer. Didn't think I'd see you down here."

"Yeah, same. Thought you'd be defending Merchant territory, to be honest. Not that I completely discounted you being down here."

The sludge shifted menacingly as I pulled a gallon of water and soap out of nowhere (from his perspective. I've got a whole apocalypse kit fucking ready in this hammerspace of mine) and started washing myself a bit more clean. Can't give away the INSTANT PRESTIDIGITATION PLUS OUTFIT SWAP that Pocket Room was capable of.

That shit is pure back pocket levels of KEEP UP MY ASS.

Gotta keep your shit together, right?

Ok, enough shit jokes.

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Well, I'm immune to disease and infections. But regular ABB and E88 grunts aren't right? Hell aside from people with an actual transformation like Hookwolf, they're ALL vulnerable. Get in a scrap, rough em up and COVER them in shit and you have yourself a LITERAL shit list of people out of the fight because they're in the hospital getting antibiotics pumped through them like air in a blow up doll."

Mush paused, half disgusted and half WAY TOO INTRIGUED by the implications.

"Yeah, that would be helpful. Covering Nazis in shit sounds like a good time, too."

"Right?! Hell, you don't even have to hurt them, just kinda wash over them like the black plague. Thin the numbers. Get shit into Victor's eyes so he can't steal skills like a fucking filthy Uchiha-meme and if you get Hookwolf stuck in the fucking SHEER DISGUSTING MASS that is a fatburg? The sludge and waste would dull his blades like nothing else and keep him from cutting his way out like he does most things. Have you SEEN what thickened cooking oil and waste cosmetics DOES to a blender? Think that but, you know, Hookwolf."

Mush's outer sludge shell seemed to scratch it's own chin (which was food for thought) but seemed to nod almost happily. "Shit, I'd pay to see that."

I snorted.

"Why pay when you can just DO it? Just get Squealer to get a couple of souped up dump trucks ready, suck sewage from the sewer and into the dump bed with some fatburgs while you're at it and just go shit bomb the Nazis. That way if they manage to break your armor apart, you can just reappear in a minute and give them the TRUEST of true nightmares. Fuck, the city would thank you for unclogging the sewage and sticking it to the fucking supremacists at the same time. Sure they'll complain about having to clean up the stench afterwards but..."

I shrugged.

"...you're a villain right? What do you care?"

The sludgy mass straightened up as I pulled out a giant jug of dollar store knock of Listerine and began gargling and hurling into the sewage.

"You know, I really like that idea. Sounds a hell of a lot more fun then fighting you."

"Right? I kick hard."

"Fuck you can say that again. If it wasn't for my armor you'd have broken my ribs three times over."

"I positioned you so that every time I hit you for real, a fatburg or an extra deep channel of sewage could break your fall, dude. Why do you think I spent twenty minutes between every time I hit you ONE time? And waited for you to get back up and ready? We've been here for like, two hours? I'm not trying to kill you. Don't think I didn't hear your try not to laugh your ass off after the first half hour at some of the stupid shit I say for fun. Hell, I was pleasantly surprised that you had a sense of humor! I don't even know why a guy like you works for Skidmark. Dude's a drug addled control freak. You could do better. Aside from the whole trying to drown me in shit thing, you've been alright."

Also I needed to maximize my Entropy Fragment gain, but he doesn't have to know that.

"...Fuck you're not what I expected." Mush said, "I saw that docks video and thought I was gonna be fighting a holier than thou prick."

"Hey, it's called hamming it up. I do have a good sense of justice most of the time. And what people NEED is hope. I'M not the one that tried to muscle in and lord over a failing industry that's just trying to feed their fucking kids. That was Skidmark. But you've humored me with a cartoon-y cat and mouse chase with a decent amount of banter. I give respect where it's due."

"...'Spose that's fair enough. Well, I feel like shitting on some Nazis. And totally claim your disgusting infection scheme and claim it as my brainchild." I gave him a go ahead gesture, "So both of us pretend we never saw each other, yeah?"

"Works for me. Give 'em shit for me."

"That's the plan, chucklefuck. That's the plan."

I watched as the embodiment of the words Excrement Exo-Gelatin lumbered (every step went SQUISH SQUISH and it would have been cute if it wasn't ACTUAL FECES) off deeper into the sewers.

I removed ALL the things that were touching my person into the Pocket Room and dumped them out into the sewage as I swapped into a fresh set of sweats.

I gave myself a sniff.

Ok. I actually don't smell at all. Fuck. Pocket Room is great.

"Well it's a good thing I convinced him that different targets are preferable right now." I muttered to myself as I turned around. There was a an electrical box that had a bunch of wires for the turbines that kept the sewage flowing down here and it was easy enough to open up.

But under the tangle mess of wires were a series of switches that nobody in their right mind would flick around just in case they fuck up and back up the sewage causing it to spill onto the streets and cause pandemonium.

Which was why they were actually a set of switches that acted as the key to the door of my secret base. Go figure.

I messed with the switches the way my instincts told me to and voila. The mass of wall and fake electrical wires shifted back and slid down to reveal a hallway that led to my hidden base.

Just follow the freedom trail they said.

Join the Railroad they said.

It just works, God Howard said.

The main area was pretty simple, all things considered. A large main room with a bunch of cushy loveseats and couches on a surprisingly plush rug and a BIG TV screen connected to some top line computers (not built for gaming though, sadly).

To the North, a med-bay with actual working hospital level equipment and PLENTY of medical supplies (even a meticulous list of expiration dates and everything was good for 4 years).

The East side had a large metal door with an electric number-pad which had me set up a pass code.

On the other side was a small hallway with two doors. The one at the end led to a soundproofed room that acted as a firing range. Didn't come with any guns, but it had HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTORS so that you wouldn't have to bother with clean up (sides, you know, bullets and casings) and a slew of pre-programmed challenges. No guns though.

The other door was apparently also soundproofed, but was like, my own personal laundromat. Why the hell there were six washing machines AND driers were beyond me, but it had just SHELVES and shelves of extra linens.

Who the fuck designed this base? What the shit?

Maybe because it was on the side of the entrance hallway, I didn't notice it at first, but there was a kitchen and bar area by the southern entrance.

Nothing in stock but that could be remedied easily enough with a bit of Pocket Room and cash.

Still, the equipment was stuff that belonged at a high end restaurant. Even had a few odd kitchen knickknacks and machines that I suspected were probably tinker-tech.

To the West was a hallway that stretched a fairly long ways. Eight doors, four on each side, and one at the very end, which seemed to be just a large open space the size of half of a football field (HOW THE FUCK?!) with PLENTY of electrical outlets that was probably supposed to be a place to have a tinker lab and double as a garage. Even found a manual that explained how everything in the base worked and the fact that WE HAD A FUCKING BATMAN TUNNEL LEADING OUT TO VARIOUS PARTS OF TOWN.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

I love my job.

My room was one of the eight other doors in the hallway. Room number 8 which was, alongside room number 1, the closest to the center. What? 8 is my favorite number. Don't judge me.

My room was a cozy enough area, nice king sized bed (I'd never slept in one of these. And the thread count was INSANE. Fuck I love my job.), a computer and network station in the corner (this WAS capable of video games though, SWEET!), general workbench, and a giant walk in closet. In the back of that closet was some tinker-tech giant cylindrical device that was unoriginally named Fabricator v3.9. It had plenty of materials loaded into it and it just MADE bodysuits. Even had a easy holographic interface that had a VI that could help redesign patterns and color-schemes to set it up however you wanted.

An hour later I had a rack of Deadpool suits (Earth Aleph didn't have Deadpool. WTF. They have Deathstroke but he never got popular WTF.) with masks that had little bits of machinery to facilitate that effect of making facial expressions through a mask. My eye glow doesn't show through it though no matter how bright I forced it to shine, which was also a plus.

Then came the All Might suits. Honestly, I wasn't sure which designs I wanted to use most. The fucking Fabricator wouldn't make the Silver Age version or the Two Heros version JUST BECAUSE THEY HAD A CAPE ATTATCHED (I don't like the Silver Age one enough to wear it, but I WANTED THEM JUST FOR THE COLLECTION DAMMIT!) but the Modern Age version came out just fine. I'd have to Kakashi mask with them pseudo-Deku style, but they'd do the trick for now.

I wasn't sure if I was brave enough to dare do the New Wave bare faced thing in this twisted as fuck world.

I'd put the Heberts in danger and I am NOT ok with that.

Especially since aside from the fact that Danny was the one to bring me to his house, I was the one that made sure to maintain the connection.

Just because I didn't want to see one girl become twisted into the near unfeeling creature that was Khepri.

I sighed as I put away a few sets of each outfit into Pocket Room.

While the Fabricator was doing it's thing, I had checked out the bathroom, and unlike the other rooms, mine was massive. There were separate rooms for a steam bath, a sauna, a fucking japanese cypress bath, a Jacuzzi (because why not, apparently), and a fucking ARTIFICIAL stone-worked hot-spring whose walls and ceiling with some TINKER-TECH BULLSHIT essentially turned the place into a virtual outdoor bath.

It's legit bathroom overkill.

And the toilets have bidets because whoever made this base is a fucking god to me.

Lastly, after I had collected the outfits, I checked out the Supply Line. Funnily enough it was a desktop program on the computer in my room and even had a direct link to TOYBOX. Fucking shit. Computer itself ran with multiple privacy programs and essentially was designed, programmed, fitted, and well, MADE for DarkWeb type access with a bunch of safety precautions. It really NEEDED that shit because Dragon exists.

Still, even though Supply Line made cheap most of the things I wanted for future plans as both Deadpool AND All Might...

"...I need some more cash. This is cheap considering both quantity AND quality, but it's still a hell of a lot of money for a regular person. Plus if I used my stipend for this shit, it would be super obvious. Hmmmmm..."

I do have 10 Fragments right now. Surprisingly, and maybe because the sheer amount of different materials Mush has worked with before, his Shard helped me consolidate 3 fragments (although 1 was already most of the way done anyways). And Surgery is only 7 points...

"On one hand. Dr. Deadpool sounds like so much fucking fun... On the other hand after I do some shady shit with him, would hospitals still let me work? It WOULD be safer to do that as All Might and it really would be good PR. Even better if I take injuries myself. Healing others by taking their pains upon himself! Fuck I'd be a posterboy in a day. I don't know what I'd do if I could help coma patients with Surgery though. If I can, I don't want to risk that on myself. I could just transfer that shit to mice? But I don't want to be murdering animals left and right just to save people. It'd leave a bad taste in my mouth and it could be twisted into some bad publicity by idiots... But if I can help them, I want to help them..."

I sighed as I flopped onto the bed (yes, I had already washed myself even after Pocket Room).

"Time to do a Bing search. Wow. That sounds weird even now. Pft. Bing. HA!"

So comas are usually a result of brain injury and often medically induced for the sake of preventing more major damage from happening. So theoretically, Surgery SHOULD be able to help, but I don't know how it will take for me personally to recover from it.

That and I haven't been subject to brain damage (sans the odd blow to the back of the head from the dock fight) since I 'triggered'. It might be worth it to just grit my teeth and see what happens.

"Fuck it. Deadpool needs gear because I'd prefer to avoid him revealing he has super strength outside of a pinch. I should pick up Blink later for the BAMF teleport belt for the memes. For now let's just get back home and look up the hospitals that Panacea frequents. It'd be good to meet New Wave and get more fragments anyways."

As comfortable as that king size bed is, it's too damn big. It's kinda weird.

Also I'm pretty sure PRT is keeping tags on me, and I dont wanna give off more warning signs than I already do.

The underground roads leading out were big enough that school buses could travel through them comfortably.

I had a remote (1 of 8) that let me access all of the entrances easily and I had a small laugh when I saw that the opening closest to my house was an underground parking lot.

The remote was more of a small tablet and it even scanned the whole parkinglot for activity before it gave an all clear to pass through for vehicles.

For me, I just needed the personnel exit that was just a false back to a employee only supply closet.

Once I got home, I had a little personal time before going to sleep. Fuck you, it's exactly what you think it is.

At least I'm sparing you the details.

The Good Samaritan Hospital of Brockton Bay was about as much as you would expect from a hospital. Large tower that looked like it was made of glass with the fact that everything was a window. Somehow.

You'd think a hospital would have more privacy.

My hair had been styled like All Might's V for Victory haircut (something abut Cosmetic Shapeshift made it super easy to make anime hair. Shit most of the morning was me pretending to be Son fucking Goku), and I was dressed in my All Might suit feeling some high quality cosplay.

God I WISH I could be Dr. Deadpool right now.

I entered the hospital ignoring the hushed whispers and flashing camera phones.

"Excuse me, good citizen. I have a power that can be used to heal, and I was wondering if I could talk to someone about a demonstration... Miss receptionist? My eyes are up here... Miss?"

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: If you're broke because of rent then clap your hands

*Clap Clap*

Want to eat good but you're broke then clap you hands

*Clap Clap*

If you're addicted to FGO Gacha, but can't even buy some quartz (haven't got to roll for since mama Raikou T_T, only plus side is I got her on a ticket)

But you have a Pat reon account then clap your hands

*Clap Clap*

(If I'm gonna self-promote then I might as well have fun with it, lol.)


	6. Local Daddy All Might Triggers Memories

AN: I know I put that poll up there (Spacebattles only) but I have to wonder just HOW people are voting/coming to a decision. I said Slippery Slope, which while not obvious exactly WHAT makes it slippery, CERTAINLY has implications in a world like Worm.

Although I WILL admit that the choices involve two certain people that are REALLY OBVIOUS from the way I set it up. I suddenly find myself curious on the thought processes for voting.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

The hospital was running on overtime because of all the gang fights going on. I honestly hadn't expected it to be so busy.

I should have.

The first clue was the fact that they didn't even bother testing my ability before they took me to my first room.

My first patient was a woman with her tongue and ears carved out.

Who did this?... WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DID THIS?!

I didn't even transfer the injuries into the cache, merely transferring them to my body immediately.

The description for the power didn't say anything about living through the experience from the point of view of the injured person. A crazed Nazi tearing out her tongue and ears. Nothing more than mere initiation. A REGULAR FUCKING RITUAL IN THIS TERRIBLE TOWN. Beating her nearly to death. The FUCKING JOY he took.

What was wrong with these people?!

She gasped as her speech returned and the sounds of tearing flesh and cracking bone. I coughed up blood into a clenched fist and grunted as my flesh reformed. My missing ears allowed me to ignore the horrified screams from the nurse and doctor at my side.

I don't know if it was a side effect of Surgery, but we both instinctively knew what had happened, that I had taken her injuries from her and placed them upon myself. Her tears were apologetic. She did not wish that pain on anyone.

I swallowed.

Hot salty metal poured down my throat.

I smiled. Not just with my mouth, but my eyes. Doing my best to give off a feeling of comfort. Compassion. Acceptance.

"It's alright now. _For I am here_. I take upon your pain. Your suffering. And I have made you whole again."

She cried and I held her.

I've never liked seeing people cry.

Partly because I always saw tears as a primal sign of intimacy. I always believed that you should only have to cry when you have people who can comfort you. Or when something so amazing happened that tears were inevitable. No matter what, crying meant heightened emotions, and those were always the most intimate when shared.

Today, I comforted people crying tears of joy. Because they were suddenly able to see again. Because their child that was run over by a car during a car chase would be able to walk again. Because the wife who was near a state of brain death when she had her head bashed for trying to protect a child of color was made whole again. Because the young girl with terrible body scarring burns wouldn't need to suffer disfigurement for the rest of her life. Because a father with his legs cut off could walk again...

I gave them all of this and more at the cost of pain. It was fresh. It kept coming. New injuries to treat, new ailments to cure, more mistakes I had to atone for. Like small eddies coalescing into a crashing wave threatening to break past a dam.

While the doctors and nurses were concerned about hygiene, I was willing to reveal that I could clean myself perfectly (via Pocket Room) even though I didn't not WANT to reveal that. Panacea was working as well and a quick verification from her, that whatever I was doing WAS making me sterile and clean, I was allowed to keep working, although people were concerned about the injured patients seeing me suddenly look as haggard as they were.

I wasn't concerned.

My arrival in Brockton Bay had more effects than I was aware of. Far before canon, the city was filled with blood in the streets. Innocents caught up because I WAS STUPID. Because I had made choices for the sake of benefits! It didn't MATTER that I had simply thought it was just a fun character creator, because stupid me and my bad decisions had caused DOZENS injury and harm. THIS WAS MY FAULT.

And if I wasn't able to DO anything to help rectify the mistake that I had made... I think I would have drowned in the guilt.

But maybe because I experienced the same terrors, I was able to empathize with them further. And they, being able to somehow FEEL the FACT that I took away their injuries, hurting myself to heal them, created an unintended empathetic link.

A bond of trust. A bond of acceptance. A bond of faith.

Because even if the world abandoned them. Declared them untreatable. Beyond saving. GAVE UP ON THEM.

I could not forsake them.

Every embrace was a moment of understanding. Every whisper was sweet comfort. Every silence was sheer, undiluted acceptance.

Every time I healed someone who had been injured (because of me. STUPID STUPID ME) they felt everything about them return to a perfect state (described to be like having their whole body washed over by a spring breeze). I kept families together. Kept people in a state where they could keep working, keeping them from being forced onto the streets.

Some of the doctors argued that I shouldn't show the victims how me healing them was injuring me. I argued otherwise. These victims could find comfort in knowing that someone in this world shares the EXACT pain they suffered... and that was a level of emotional healing that they would not be able to find anywhere.

Some apologized. Some thanked me. Some cursed me.

I accepted it all.

That was my responsibility.

And mine alone.

* * *

POV: Panacea

This city was going to hell.

Really, I wasn't surprised. It always had been.

What did surprise me though, was just how much of a powderkeg Brockton Bay really could be.

One guy. Just one ABB member that the media was calling Suicide Panda (Whoever named him that should be fired, Vicky said) was enough to set this all off. He killed Hookwolf's nephew and shot Skidmark (in the testicles, ewww) before disappearing like smoke. Apparently ABB was claiming that they weren't responsible for the whole thing, but nobody believed them when they were the most ready to be attacked.

Then Skidmark got arrested by some new cape calling himself All Might (although his name sounded a bit pretentious, his PHO posts were apparently rather humble and a tad naive, Vicky said) and the Merchants became an injured beast.

In the span of a day the balance of the city was upturned not once, but twice.

I suppose in the end, nothing changes for little old Amy... Always healing... The perfect Panacea to the Brockton Bay medical problem.

...Except there were too many injured this time around. Lines had been redrawn, but everything stayed mostly the same in the end. Apparently Mush had gotten real creative and actually CLAIMED more ground than they lost in this whole affair. Luckily all of the ABB and Nazis weren't being carted off to regular public hospitals because of how OBVIOUS their afflictions were. Poisoning and infections via sewage. Gross.

Good news is that there weren't tensions at the hospital due to victims having to share rooms with their tormentors.

And that's when I heard the screams.

I rushed over to the source, hand ready to draw my pepper spray...

There was a hero I didn't recognize. The suit looked tailor made. Maybe professional. All dark blue with white and red styling and some yellow-gold accents over impressive musculature.

It was so... masculine that I found myself a little flushed before I noticed just what was wrong with this scene.

HIS EARS WERE GONE. And torn cartilage and blood remained.

He coughed into his fist, blood splattering onto the skin. Quickly I began reaching out... only for my words to die on my lips as I began to realize that his ears were already growing back. In mere seconds he had regrown what was missing. A regeneration cape?

There was nothing wrong with the woman in the bed (vaguely latin) but her eyes were moist with tears, staring up at the bloodied hero. Maybe it was the bloodied ears, but I didn't notice how OUT THERE his hair was. There were two long locks of hair pointed upwards like a V.

Then he spoke.

"It's alright now. _For I am here_. I have taken upon your pain. Your suffering. And I have made you whole again."

The woman, now sobbing, sat up, reaching for him. He let her hold him like a sobbing child seeking a father's comfort and care. And he embraced her like she was his own.

A power that TOOK injuries from others... to harm oneself... what kind of twisted hell did he go through for a Trigger to manifest like that?...

The sharp sting of bile awoke in the back of my throat.

And yet he whispered soothing words to this crying woman like _she was his own_. Although it must have been beyond painful and so easy to hate his patient for forcing him to shoulder such inhumane burdens... _HE SMILED AT HER._ My heart itched. There was something at the back of my mind. A niggling memory that I couldn't recall. _Holding my breath. Feeling like choking from the fear. A man, so comforting, warm, beaten and bloody on the ground. I was hiding._ Where? _I don't remember_... A closet? No, _a wardrobe. My little Narnia_...although I don't recall any place like that at home...

 _Begging_. That's right he was _begging_... What was he begging for? _Who was he begging to prote-_

"Sir, we appreciate what you did for this woman, but your power..." a doctor nervously said, "...it has a problem. We can't... you can't heal people while covered in blood. It's a biohazard sir, I'm sorry, but-"

His eyes were like galaxies. (When had he turned around?) Somehow I had never seen a pair of eyes convey so much emotion. Had he smiled with sheer body language earlier? I had been so sure that I must have seen a face, but... his lower face was covered up to the nose with a mask... And the look his eyes had (like a galaxy contained in perfect orbs) that look could only be an upset frown.

He waved his hand over himself and the blood was gone. Perfectly clean. Too clean.

They asked me to check if he was sterilized from that action. And he was. Oddly so. (How?!)

"There, Panacea gave me the ok, right? Where are the rest of the injured?" the V-haired hero spoke. "I will save them."

The doctor in charge stared at him and readjusted his glasses. "Naturally, but first I need to know what you can and can't-"

"All of them." the new hero spoke, interrupting the staff, "I will heal them all. Because they have no more need to cry. Because today will bring hope. _For I am here_."

And for the first time I was both inexplicably excited and scared.

He took any and all injuries upon himself. Even brain trauma and missing brain matter was recovered in seconds. Let alone regular bodily injury and missing limbs.

He _saved them all_... and I could no longer feel like I was one of the best healers in the world.

Because even though I still was... _He was now Here_...

* * *

It was almost dinner time once I was done.

Giving a construction worker his arm back and after the resulting bro-hug I had to chuckle awkwardly as I reattached my arm and my stomach growled like a hungry bear. I shook my head when the thankful victim offered me a meal.

"It was my duty to serve" I said (It was my fault).

"I'm just glad to have helped him recover." I said (Because it was my fault).

Although I wanted to heal more, between Panacea and I... we were somehow miraculously done. I was feeling a bit light-headed from all the regeneration. From the hunger, rather than poor bodily condition. Regeneration seemed to bend the laws of physics some, but I sure wasn't complaining.

Although brain injuries hurt more than anything, in the end it was just my own fear that was holding me back and once I began healing, I hadn't even noticed I had begun helping patients with brain injuries.

I hadn't needed to bother with buying mice to transfer brain trauma to.

Apparently the hospital was already getting documents ready to apply for an honorary medical licence for me, as I normally could not heal without one. Apparently the media (journalists and reporters with cameras had been recording at some point, although when and how they started recording and snooping around was beyond me) attention had gotten the PRT to contact them to get the paperwork started as well as getting a basic contract ensuring payment for my healing based off of the parahuman laws dealing with healers (although I had to put up with the one for minors).

There was an option where I could donate half of my income to recovery efforts and medical bills for patients of villain and gang-related accidents (which was only told to me after I dug insistently for SOMETHING to help soothe my guilt) that I opted for.

And while the pay was less than standard for how effective my healing was, apparently healer capes were exempt from taxes... for medical practitioning, at least.

The hospital cafeteria was actually better than the one I had become used to from my original Earth (A hospital in San Jose called O'Connor that had entered bankruptcy recently before I arrived on Earth Bet). Probably funded more considering that it was the biggest in the bay, Panacea was known to work here regularly (read: volunteer as she apparently donated her earnings into charity) and was the only hospital with enough space and staff to even TRY to deal with large scale gang wars and disasters. Heck, it was pretty much it's own building, although connected to the main hospital complex.

There was a few choices, but I gravitated to the BBQ ribs and garlic potato wedges. My body definitely craved something high caloric.

...Shit.

How do I eat with a Kakashi mask?

...

..

.

FUCKING SHIT OF ALL THE DAMN-

Wait. Schrodinger. HOW MANY FRAGMENTS DID GET FROM PANACEA?!

3 left over after buying Surgery... 9 total?

PANACEA WAS WORTH 6 FUCKING FRAGMENTS?!

She self imposed restrictions AND wasn't at her full potential and she was at 6?!

WTF are the other Heroes even doing?!

Hello? Wildbow? Can I just get, like, 6 Panaceas to go? Thank you~

Five Entropy Fragments collapsed before becoming one galaxy of flame and light.

Ignoring the people in the cafeteria staring intensely at me sit down with my plate of food, some even pulling out their cameras.

I activated Schrodinger (and thus was both wearing, yet not wearing a mask) and began eating.

I politely ignored the gaping mouths and flashing camera lights.

But in reality? Laughing so hard that I felt better about today than before.

Because I WAS yet WAS NOT laughing my ass off at the same time.

The best part was that on the outside I didn't even look phased at the attention or the fact that I massively trolled everyone without planning on it in the first place.

"Uh, excuse me?"

I turned my head to see Panacea (still in costume) standing awkwardly with a plate of food.

All she had was some lavender herb chicken, a piece of cornbread, and a cup of blueberry yogurt.

"Do you... mind if I join you?"

Her lightly freckled face was the picture of insecurity.

"Not at all," I said with a smile, not caring that she couldn't see it, "Actually, it would be my pleasure. It is nice to properly make your acquaintance, Miss Panacea. Rather, I must apologize for my curtness earlier today. There were people who needed saving and-"

She shook her head, sitting down quickly, "It's more than alright... Rather I'm a little worried about you. It must have been toughest on you. Because you took away all their pain and bore it yourself."

She bit her lip.

"Sorry. I don't mean to sound pretentious or anything... it's just... how are..." She shook her head, "Let me start over. I'm Panacea. I'm a hero from New Wave..." She paused, seemingly thinking of something. As if she had something to ask, "And I became a hero partly because I wanted to help people, and partly because it was expected of me, I guess."

I nodded. I suppose she didn't feel right about asking it directly. That was fine with me.

"My name is All Might." She blinked, seeming to recognize the name. Odd. "I am currently an Independent Hero. I became a hero because I wish to save people. Because I want people to be able to hold on to hope. That they could feel safe, no, so that they could _know_ that they are safe. _For I am here_."

She nodded, but seemed distant. As if she was recalling a distant memory.

Then there was rumbling and the whole building shook.

I moved.

And once again, I felt pain.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN

That's right! The whole chapter was just a set up!

You thought you were getting to see how the poll was going to affect the story!

BUT IT WAS ME! CLIFFHANGER!

Oh and something something about me having a Pat reon account. That sounds about right.


	7. Slippery Slope B

AN1: Funny thing is I actually wrote out 2 separate ways this could end. But it might be best that you all voted (on SpaceBattles) for Slippery Slope B because it came out better methinks. For better or for worse. Slippery Slope A involved a MIDCHAPTER timeskip and uhm no thank you lol. (No, it was NOT about pairings. I haven't even considered that stuff. The joke was that the charcter is 24, but like Toby Maguire in Spiderman, EVERYONE think's he should be a highschooler. But morals means no dating/fucking highschoolers... probably... SI hasn't gone big Deadpool yet... which, small concern, Deadpool would totally fuck a teen which is kind of uncomfortable now that I'm writing this down...)

Also it didn't have the PHO posts and i think they came out well on a comedic level, at least.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

It was the rumbling and the flash of light that gave me time to react.

What I wasn't ready for was Rocky 2nd Trigger. I had forgotten that PAIN is what empowered me and I had KNOWN pain today. Truly. Intimately.

All I was trying to was to quickly get up and jump over the table, parkour style and push Panacea out of the way.

What happened was that the act of me getting up in a panic launched me from my chair, my knees catching the table as it flipped upwards (SOMEHOW missing Panacea entirely!), rising with my momentum. The table then shattered upon impact as it hit me and I landed on the OTHER SIDE OF THE CAFETERIA. I had leapt over sixty feet (it was a BIG cafeteria) and landed on the other side of a crowd of civilians and reporters with cameras.

That's when I saw it.

Through the glass windows of the building was something out of a nightmare.

A wall of drills and serrated blades, twisting and grinding. Made from scrap-metal and what MUST have been once parts of dozens of cars. RUSHING AT THE BUILDING.

NAMESAKE DON'T FAIL ME NOW!

I turned around, cupping my hands as if I was swimming freestyle and SWUNG. My hands slammed against air as they smashed through (not breaking sound barrier, obviously) but sending out a terrific air-force.

The air force sent people flying (thankfully not too hard) as dozens of people broke each other's falls.

And that's all the reaction time I had for as the wall of drills burst through the building's concrete and glass.

I grit my teeth as twisting, screaming metal and debris began grinding into my flesh and body, tearing up large chunks of the back of my suit.

FUUUUUUUUUUCK! It just kept grinding, tearing, and trying to eat away my flesh!

Then I saw.

Everyone had been moved out of the way.

Everyone but Panacea.

FUCK!

"GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I DUG my feet into the ground, desperately begging all the laws in physics to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!

Two Entropy Shards imploded and became a twisting maelstrom of force.

I bent then straightened my legs with Vector Push.

The foundational concepts of physics itself SCREAMED.

The wall of noise and steel screeched to a halt as my body came to a halt just mere inches from Panacea's face (she had enough time to turn around, but not RUN?!)

I just... REALLY... felt awkward that her face was at groin level. She seemed to be staring up in frozen panic, however, meeting my eyes (FUCK THIS IS AWKWARD. BAD THOUGHTS BAD THOUGHTS), not noticing the whole being face at groin level situation.

"Are you ok?"

She blinked.

Then shouted, "Am I ok?! ARE YOU OK?!"

I gave a weak chuckle.

"I'll be fine. After all... there is no need to fear." I loosened my back and arm muscles, hunching over slightly.

"New Jersey..." then... I _**FLEXED**_ , "SMAAAAAAASH!" Because of COURSE the Flex Smash is New Jersey.

I tightened all of the muscles in my body and enhanced the resulting outgoing force with Vector Push.

AND THE WALL OF DRILLS AND DEATH WAS FLUNG BACKWARDS. Now that I could turn to see it, I was horrified (and geeking out) that the mass of terrifying scrap was attached to the front of the biggest truck (was it even a truck at this point or a mechanical whale on wheels?) I had seen in my life.

I turned my neck, the bones cracking therapeutically. Left. Right.

" _For I. Am. Here_."

I cleaned myself with Pocket Room (just the blood and... well. There wasn't that much blood? Did Rocky toughen my skin too?! Why the shit did it hurt so damn much when it barely broke skin?) and I could feel now that multiple large tears and holes had been made in my suit (some sort of normally thick, but breathable, heavy wear resistant cloth, certainly NOT bulletproof) there was one hole that revealed most of my back (and then I was concerned about photography because I look like a walking DBZ character) the outside of my lower left thigh, the knee and calves of my right leg, most of my right arm below the shoulder, and some minor tears in my left arm.

Thank god my suit's ass was intact. Revealing more of my Pocket Room usage was supposed to be for the Deadpool persona.

"Well... It was nice meeting you, Miss Panacea. But it seems I have a villain to catch. Next time then, yes?"

"Huh?! Oh! Uh... yeah... next time..."

I'm just going to pretend I don't see how red her face is slowly becoming, turn and leap (WITH CONTROL this time, I'm not trying to hit Panacea with a fucking shockwave!).

The truck was upturned outside, but there were some odd hydraulic arm-like appendages that was re-righting itself on it's tires like some GTA V mechanic.

I landed upright, only bending my knees a little. The pavement crackled, but I didn't see any REAL damage, so I assumed it was alright. I had completely forgotten about Rocky when I was healing people. Surgery simply TRANSFERRED injuries. In doing so it bypassed all resistances. Somehow, it made the user feel all the pain and experiences that the original victim did. Luckily my pain tolerance which had become something else after gaining my powers...

I was thinking about figuring out a method of suicidal self harm for Rocky ramping but... I supposed this worked.

"I'm gonna FUCKING KILL YOU ALL MIGHT!" a high pitched manic voice played from some loudspeaker device on top of the truck that looked like it was made from fucking TRAFFIC CONES. What the actual-

Tires squealed and PLUMES of blue flame burst out of a large number of exhaust pipes as the Tinker Drill Truck launched at me with extreme force. This wasn't a truck. This was a fucking rocket.

"TEXAAAAAASSSS SMAAAAAAAAAASH!" I cocked my fist back... and released a near full powered straight punch.

The wall of scrap drills and other point bits SHATTERED into hundreds of pieces and the truck flipped backwards in the air, once, twice, and landing on its tires a ways back. The whole vehicle shuddered at the impact as the tires popped off, the airbags deployed, and a squeal of pain and dissatisfaction split the silence.

I began walking at the now defunct Tinker-Truck.

There was cursing and terrible insinuations against my mother as I approached.

Now I wish I could say that I caught her and that was the end of that.

Because a chunk of the truck opened up and a large portion of it broke away and shifted into a different form like some sort of Gundam core fighter, or that motorcycle that burst out of the Bat-mobile in one of the Nolan films.

Now THAT actually surprised me as it popped a rocket out of the trunk and began ROCKETING THE FUCK AWAY.

Did she... did she just get me with a LIZARD'S TAIL?!

WHAT THE FUCK?!

No! No you don't get to just run the fuck away like this! GET BACK HERE BITCH!

I leapt after the escape buggy, intent on catching who could ONLY be Squealer.

* * *

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 **Topic: There's A New Hope in Brockton Bay. Also HOLY CRAP YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!**

 **In: Boards ► News ► Events ► America**

► **Chalice8081**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

We're putting together a piece now at Brockton Bay News Network, but it isn't going fast enough. Too many people want to censor and manipulate this for their own means. I work at Brockton Bay News Network and although I never thought in my life that I'd ever become one, but I am now a mole. Because people NEED to see this. Because the world needs HOPE... and today, maybe, just maybe. Hope has arrived.

This isn't me trying to start a hype train. I won't ask you to do anything except form your opinion on this with your own eyes.

The cape in question is named All Might. I have a link **HERE** that links to a thread that that talks about his first appearance as well as him fighting off a bunch of Merchant thugs at the Docks. (Just gotta note: NO CIVILIAN CASUALTIES)

Then **HERE** is a link of him (In proper uniform and DAMN me if that isn't a good suit) HEALING all the people that were at the Good Samaritan of Brockton Bay today. (It's a long clip. Dude helped over a hundred people on video alone... and LOOK at how his healing works. That's just... a HUNDRED MAN. And BIG WARNING. It's a bit censored, but it's NOT for the faint of heart.)

And lastly?

This is the piece du resistance. **HERE** is what convinced me to make this post. I might get found out. I might get fired. But I'll sleep happy in bed tonight knowing WHAT I DID was the RIGHT thing to do.

I also kind of had to slow down what happened at the beginning that just looks like a GIANT BLUE BLUR and FLYING BODIES. Real time, then 1/8th speed (you'll thank me, trust me) and then everything that happened afterwards (I really wish I knew what happens AFTER they both leave the scene, but I ain't a cape)

I can still hear it when I close my eyes...

"For I am here."

► **DOXY-CLEAN**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Well... I hate to say it, but looks like you have an Endbringer in Brockton Bay. It's just that this one's nice. Because that is not a human.

If that's a human, then I'll eat my shoes.

► **ThatEMP** (Veteran Poster)

Posted on September 2nd 2010

I'm just gonna sit here on this couch. I'ma stop hitting the gym.

No way on earth I'll be able to perform a New Jersey Smash. What's the point of going to the gym if YOU CAN'T DO THE JERSEY SMASH?!

I gotta contemplate life now. And find a new hobby. (You know what the sad truth is? I'm a personal trainer)

► **Honorable** (PHO Moderator)

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Just barely convinced Tin Mother to keep this up on the site. You may not be the only one out of a job tonight Chalice8081

► **LikeMyNameRomaine**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Back. Threw up twice five minutes into the second video. Damn. Just damn. How could he even heal people if THAT's what it does to him. I'm joining the Endbringer theory. Jesus Christ. That's just not possible.

► **Homebound**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Look, all I need to know is if this man is opening up a dojo. I shall pass down the Texas Smash and New Jersey Smash to my children like a family heirloom. The hidden techniques of their ancestry.

But for real I think that he might not be a blaster... I think that ACTUALLY might have been PURE PHYSICAL FORCE.

If he was a Blaster, the New Jersey Smash wouldn't have worked like that. (Well... maybe? Not likely without damaging that suit more though)

If he was a Striker, the Texas Smash wouldn't have been able to FLIP A FUCKING MEGA TRUCK TWICE IN THE AIR.

His Brute rating must be over 9000.

► **Honorable** (PHO Moderator)

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Remember, you're not supposed to speculate on powers outside of the proper threads. Tin Mother's breathing over my shoulder here. Help me out guys.

► **GOKEN**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

More than hope, this might be the birth of the most 'MERICAN martial arts known to man! Read the following in a southern accent.

WELCOME TO THE SCHOOL OF AMERICAN SMASH-FU! Created by our lord and savior ALL MIGHT.

Today, children, you learn the Texas Smash, the most important yet simplest of SMASH.

Then you will all train to gain ALL MIGHT physique with the New Jersey Smash!

If you are 'Merican and strong, one day you may learn the PINNACLE of 'Merican SMASH-FU!

THE UNITED STATES OF SMASH (Please All_Might PLEASE tell me there's a UNITED STATES OF SMASH)

► **Chay-Chay**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Can we not make light of the fact that the United States now has a healer that can HEAL PEOPLE INSTANTLY?!

Also I'm sure that the guy naming his attacks (Smashes?) after American States DEFINITELY has a United States of Smash. Or at least has one planned. (If I can see that I'll die happy)

► **Qade Qilson** (Wiki Warrior)

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Hey I've ALWAYS wanted to join a ridiculous conspiracy nobody could ACTUALLY possibly believe in! Is the All Might is an Endbringer Cult taking any membership applications?

Crickey, what you REALLY have to wonder is what kind of thing TRIGGERS a cape in a way that makes them TAKE injuries from people and BRING IT DOWN UPON THEMSELVES. I mean look at video three, the guy pretty much didn't even bleed, but I've fast forwarded enough of video 2 to know that the dude BLED for EVERY SINGLE PERSON that he healed. He probably doesn't even FEEL pain normally, but he pretty much TORTURED himself over A HUNDRED TIMES healing people.

If that isn't a goddamned HERO nobody is. Do you understand? Cut out that tinfoil hat Endbringer shit.

This is the first time in ten YEARS I've felt that humanity has a fucking chance.

► **Demi-Chan**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

We have seen the ubermensch. And he is asian. (The skin tone and eye shape is a dead giveaway)

Suck on THAT E88 Nazi scum!

Also his eyes make me breathless. Mmmm. And that ass!

► **Gizmo** (Not a Tinker)

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Ok, let's not swoon over... huh. That's ass enough to almost me go gay.

Jokes aside, Brockton Bay's tourism rates are about to SKYROCKET.

I mean. Even PANACEA can't heal brain injuries. But All Might CAN. And he's stacked.

Some people get all the luck. (Although I DO NOT envy whatever caused him to trigger)

► **WhiteThunderKing** (Temp-Banned)

Posted on September 2nd 2010

[This message has been deleted due to: Profanity, Blatant Racism, and Promises of Persona Harm]

 **USER HAS RECEIVED A TEMPORARY BAN FOR THIS POST**

 **TinMother: Calls to violence and excessive profanity/racism are not acceptable. Enjoy your temp-ban.**

► **PadawanD**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

That feel when you were the one to post the first video XD

GO ALL MIGHT! Dockworker's Union is cheering for you bud!

► **Glory_Girl** (Verified Cape) (New Wave)

Posted on September 2nd 2010

Hey All_Might once you see this, let me buy you a drink for saving my baby sis. Thank you.

Two drinks for also helping lighten her work load today. She's been overworked lately.

► **TheOutsider**

Posted on September 2nd 2010

HOLY SHIT GLORY GIRL WAS HERE!

* * *

One thing Vector Push was good for was letting me just essentially get the 2nd Trigger version of Jump without outright buying it as I "NEW HAMPSHIRE SMASH"ed my way across the city, sending windows rattling everywhere.

It's fucking hard to aim that thing man. I almost hit three buildings.

But there were a few problems with my current situation.

Firstly, we were in an abandoned derelict neighborhood on the outskirts of town.

Secondly, Squealer had just crashed her rocket buggy.

I tore her from the wreckage and choked down some vomit.

She had almost died from the impact. That and it was obvious to me that she was overdosing on SOMETHING because she kept muttering incoherently and laughing as she cried. Her chapped lips spit blood in all directions as they split open and SHE WAS DYING IN MY ARMS.

Then I heard the only words that I could understand.

And I could no longer sit there and do nothing.

"...lord... please save me..."

I didn't know what would happen to me if I took on her wounds and years of damage from drugs.

Hell I HATED cigarette smoke, but there was a part of me that REALLY wanted (fucking NEEDED) a cig because of all of the people that HAD an addiction to cigarettes that I healed today, not to mention all the other drugs that I buried in the back of my mind. Thank god that as far as I could tell it wasn't a biological need, but a mental one. Like something should have been around, but I didn't yearn for anything specific.

I could fight those.

Still I didn't want All Might to be suddenly be suffering and itching from whatever crazy shit that Squealer NEEDED to be hopped op on.

I quickly pulled out the Secret Base Remote from the Pocket Room.

We were about forty meters from a secret exit/entrance and I could easily make that in a single bound.

A secret base with a cage full of mice that I had bought at the pet store.

"...FUCK IT." I growled as I pulled with Surgery and stored her injuries in the cache.

Then I picked up the fainted Squealer and in seconds was nowhere to be found. PRT showed up to an empty crashed rocket buggy twenty minutes later.

In minutes I was flushing down the SHREDDED remains of a little brown mouse down the tinker toilet in my bathroom. The manual stated that it was ok to flush down anything under a certain size that I didn't want to lose. It would be fired directly into the sewage apparently, so no clog, no foul.

The problem was the unconscious and mostly naked Squealer that was covered up by a bunch of sheets on my bed.

No I didn't do anything sexual! You try having the barely living remains of a woman suddenly regain her whole body and expect that shit to be properly covered!

She was still unconscious. And was in my secret base.

"Why the fuck did I bring her here?!"

I hated it when I panicked. I improv well for acting. NOT for what seems like a life or death situation!

What the hell do I do with her?!

 _What the fuck d'ya mean? Squealer could do a lot of good with the right guidance._

Of course! She's a TINKER. She's half of what KEEPS the Merchants as anything resembling a real force! They're a bunch of druggies but druggies with TINKERTECH TRUCK TANKS when push come to shove. And... and... if her Tinker powers were used for the city... if we used her powers to HELP people...

I stared at the unconscious blonde woman.

Armored public transport with scanners to PREVENT BAKUDA BOMBS on busy bus lines AS WELL AS other terrorist plots... More efficient and FASTER PRT vehicles for prompter response times... _the Deadpool-mobile!_

I froze.

Where the fuck did that come from?

"No... she... now that she's not all drugged up, she could do a lot of good... but if I just let her free... she might have to go back to the Merchants or go to jail to survive." I looked up at the unconscious woman... I don't know her story, but most fanfics suggested she might have been a victim of circumstance. "There's nobody that would protect you. Nobody willing to give you a second chance, even though you might just have been a poor girl in a poor situation taken advantage of by scumbags like Skidmark that wouldn't care if this whole city became a drug-filled hellhole..."

I swallowed.

I shouldn't do this.

 _But you must._

It's slavery.

 _No, it's LOYALTY. It states SPECIFICALLY that they retain free will._

I can't. IT'S NOT RIGHT!

 _DO IT YOU PUSSY BITCH! IF YOU WANNA BRING CHANGE SO MUCH THEN STOP GETTING HUNG UP OVER PETTY MORALS! THERE'S TOO MUCH OUT THERE WE NEED TO SAVE AND WE ARE JUST ONE MAN! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! WE NEED POWER IN NUMBERS AS WELL AS POWER OF SELF! SO FUCKING BELIEVE IN THE FUCKING BELIEVE IT LIKE THE SHITTY NARUTO DUB YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!_

SHUT UP!

 _SAVE THIS CITY! THAT'S WHAT YOU AND I BOTH FUCKING WANT!_

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK!"

As the last Entropy fragment from Squealer's flame formed, five Entropy Fragments imploded and none remained.

They merged.

Then exploded into a galaxy of hypnotic stars.

Begging. Screaming.

INTOXICATED with a need for purpose.

Squealer's eyes were gently pulled open.

And her world was forever changed.

* * *

POV: Sherrel Bailey (AKA Squealer)

It was like the best night of sleep I had ever had in my life.

I relished in it. I didn't crave the needle. I didn't need the pills. Didn't need the weed or the crack...

Was I... dead?

If I was, there were worse ways to go than dying because I fought a mini human Endbringer with the most gorgeous eyes that I had ever seen...

Huh. Funny. I was so... mad when Skidmark got jailed. Even worse when he sent an order down the line to force some of his henchmen to force unrefined meth into me until I nearly overdosed. I had wanted All Might dead... even though it really wasn't his fault at all.

Skidmark 'had his reasons' for drugging me up to my gills though. I did my best tinkering work on the brink of overdose, he always said. God... I wish I had never met the man... and oddly now I felt nothing for him. I guess when you're dead you don't need shitty boyfriends that drugged you up to get you tight or because he needed another meth-van or armored truck or getaway car.

And I was happy. Because my body felt like it had never been before. Like I was before my drug habits started. Before my parents succumbed to drug abuse. Before they forced that lifestyle upon me. Before the beatings before I triggered. Because ALL I WANTED was to run away as fast as I could. To rub it in my stepdaddy's face when I took his prized musclecar and JUST FLOORED IT OUT OF THIS SHIT TOWN.

Before they realized NOW. Now that I had been broken I had value. And they sold me off to Skidmark for a month's supply of cocaine.

But it was all ok now. I was dead. Squealer was dead.

And Sherrel Bailey was free.

I smiled. I had made my peace. I was ready to gaze into the depths of hell.

Thank you, lord... for letting me have this moment of peace and contemplation before I burned.

And so I opened my eyes...

...and knew that I was alive.

"...that's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible."

The moment I heard that voice a shock shook my whole body. I sat up slowly, not minding the sheets, not minding my clothes, not minding my shame... the man sitting at the base of the bed in front of me was simply meeting my eyes.

With his own that were filled with endless stars.

That's right.

I had seen reports from the grunts that All Might was healing at the hospital. And how he healed others was... had he done that?

For me?...

"Why..."

I couldn't spit out the rest of the sentence. I didn't deserve it. I had become a monster. A creature that fed on the pain of others and like a parasite needed a man like SKIDMARK to survive... because I was weak and useless...

"Because." he spoke, stupid suit still torn up, his eyes filled with something sad that I couldn't understand, as if he saw more than I ever could, beyond what I could comprehend, "You asked to be saved."

...

That's all? That was it? Because I wished for...

Had that simply been all that it took?

I reached out. Shakily. Unsure. Hating myself.

I grabbed his tattered suit as I leaned forwards, buried my head in his shoulders...

And I cried.

Because I was alive. Because I was healed. Because I had hope.

Because I had purpose again.

And the man that had saved me was muttering apologies in my ears for reasons that I couldn't understand. He had nothing to apologize for because HE SAVED ME.

And I swore that this man... this hero... would have my loyalty and my life until the day that I, Sherrel Bailey, died.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: AND THAT Ladies and Gentleweebs. Is how slippery. Slopes. Begin. (And how Deadpool might be getting a Harley just like Joker did? Still up in the air)

Also Deadpool REALLY wants his Deadpool-mobile.

MINOR SPOILERS: All Master Powers past Suzerain can NO LONGER be taken. Only 2 more powers BEFORE Suzerain CAN be taken. Suzerain can be repurchased for 10, 15, 20, and 25 (repeated) points a piece. Well. Maybe not more than the 25. I'd have to think on it. If a person under Suzerain dies, the slot can be repurchased for 25 points.

HOWEVER. The MC DOES NOT WANT to rely upon this power and will NOT use it willy nilly most of the time if at all. (Don't be surprised if Squealer ends up being the ONLY Suzerained character in the story until the end)

And mumble mumble Pat reon mumble


	8. Dr Deadpool: Therapy for One

AN: Oh would to tell me how to get, how to get to EXPOSITION STREET~

I would like to remind you all, that the PRT gave the SI the Kakashi masks... so if you REALLY think about this... ALL OF THIS happened because they gave him the Kakashi masks...

And ask yourselves... _Would a Nazi do this?_

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

The first thing I did after letting Squeal- no she said she wasn't Squealer anymore, but Sherrel... Once I let Sherrel cry it all out (where I had been apologizing over and over, but now was hoping that she had been too busy crying to notice) was to lend her some spare clothes.

She didn't question that I had a used shirt and shorts on hand (subtle Pocket Room shenanigans) as I turned my back respectively to let her dress.

I just really wished that I didn't feel a piercing glare at the whole of my backside.

I feel like a rabbit waiting for a unknown beast in the darkness to strike.

I tensed as thin, smooth (I suppose regenerating her whole body got rid of her calluses) fingers caressed the frayed edges of the suit.

"I... I'm sorry... about the suit and..."

"It's alright." I said, turning around. "You were also someone who needed saving, after all."

Her smile was painful for me. The trust on her face just drove the guilt in me crazy.

"Thank you again... for saving me."

The fact that those words brought me joy disgusted me... but I choked that down. I could digest that information later.

"I'm glad that I could help... but I have a question for you, Ms-"

"Sherrel" she said a little too quickly, her face taking a slightly shy look after, "I mean I'd like it if you could just call me Sherrel." She said as she played with the edges of the shirt.

Ignoring the pull in my heart seeing a woman looking at me shyly while wearing my shirt (Why did I think this was a good idea?! That's like standard male fetish #1!), I nodded calmly (or tried to at least not let my eyes drift just EVERYWHERE because OH GOD SHES NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR).

"Knmm." I coughed, "Sherrel. I was wondering, now that you're all healed up and since this is an opportunity for you to leave the Merchants if you needed or wanted to... if you would be willing to consider helping me by using your powers for good."

I didn't like the glint in her eyes.

They were fanatical. Worshiping. Without a shred of doubt in me.

And I had forced these feelings upon her.

"Anything! Everything!" She then bit her lip hesitantly (and at the same time seemed to marvel at how undamaged said lips had become as she ran her tongue over them contemplatively) "Uhm. But I don't feel confident about working with the Protectorate."

"I won't ask you to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. But although I wish to save this city, I am but one man... I can't do this alone... Please. Help me bring hope."

I felt like a scam.

"I'd love that."

My conflicting feelings were disrupted by a small growling sound.

Sherrel's face flushed with embarrassment.

I chuckled. "Well let's get a little food in you before we figure out how to rebrand you. I'll probably need to get a good lawyer too but... ah right. Thoughts for later. Is pizza ok? Honestly, I didn't really get to eat much today either and fast, quality pizza is a thing. Also, I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I haven't had any time to stock the base with proper groceries yet either, so... I'll have to do that too..."

Sherrel giggled for some reason or the other before nodding in acceptance.

I swapped to my Deadpool outfit using Pocket Room (fuck it, she's kinda trapped here under a FUCKED up super-powered version of Stockholm Syndrome, who is she gonna tell).

"By the way, this second suit is for whenever I ever need a proper second identity for things All Might can't be seen doing. If you ever need to call for me when I'm in this suit, it's Deadpool, ok?"

She nodded, the picture of trust and blind obedience.

It was wrong.

 _Or SO right!_

Shut up.

"Yes, Deadpool."

I nodded as I began walking out of the room.

"Oh, and feel free to explore around and pick out a bedroom. There's like 7 other rooms to choose from. I'll be back soon."

It wasn't until I got to one of the routes leading out into the city when things got a little weird.

 _Well hi there. Dr. Deadpool has been expecting you. Step into my office and remember to relax the anus._

I blinked. Nope. I'm actually seeing a chibi Deadpool floating in front of me. With a stethoscope... and lab coat...

"...after the pizzas I need sleep."

 _No, this is real life, you don't get to ignore this, Deku-chan._

I'm doing an ALL MIGHT persona! And I'm not... you're not real. Fuck. I'm all messed up from the hospital today.

 _Yes. Yes you are. That's why I'm here. Because it's merely a PERSONA. And you got Schrodinger which placed your entire existence into what essentially is a nebulous state of he said she said._

What?

 _Exactly._

"No no no." I said as I walked down the path out to the city as the semi-transparent chibi Deadpool floated around in front of me in the Draw Me Like A French Girl pose. "This isn't fight club, and you SURE as hell aren't Tyler Durden. You're not real."

 _About as real as your insistence on killing off your own sense of self. Or your lack of self-preservation. You're NOT All Might. That was a fucking SHONEN manga character that had a whole WORLD SYSTEM that supported his psyche and existence. And HE didn't mutilate himself six ways to Sunday two days after being tortured AND had his limbs and organs harvested._

"You're not real. Shut up." I grit my teeth.

 _Not until you admit that you need help._

"THIS WHOLE FUCKING WORLD NEEDS HELP!"

 _AND YOU CAN'T HELP IT IF YOU FALL APART LIKE A PAPER MACHE LIGHTHOUSE IN A STORM! STOP YELLING!_

"What the FUCK do you care? You're not real and I can't die!"

 _Because I'm YOU, dumbass! Except I apparently still have ALL of the survival instincts because YOU'VE BEEN THROWING THEM OUT THE WINDOW! Just because we can't die sure as HELL doesn't mean we can't FEEL, DUMBASS. You essentially threw our ass AND mind in a blender for HOURS as you healed people. That kind of pain and stress doesn't JUST FUCKING DISAPPEAR! Your pain threshold has increased, but not by THAT MUCH! You've just been barely holding onto sanity and powering through everything by ACTING like a different person and trying to meet public expectations!_

"SHUT UP!"

 _That's why when there was nobody around, when you were ALONE with nobody CONSCIOUS ENOUGH to judge you, you LATCHED onto Sherrel like a FUCKING PARASITE! Because you NEEDED something to hold onto like a fucking baby looking for his blankie. So you Mastered a woman on the brink of death so that she wouldn't betray you. Then you latched onto her gratitude like a pillar for your sanity. Thank god for it, because if you broke apart, it would have taken forever to piece your psyche back together. By the way, congratulations, you're a scumbag._

"..."

 _Look. Fuck what they think. Who's gonna find out anyways? What YOU need to know is that right now you're a volatile bomb that's been going off constantly, and you need to calm some shit down. Firstly, you're not crazy... not exactly._

"How the fuck are you gonna say that to me with a straight face?"

 _Like this. Look. When the ABB stuck that vial in our FUCKING HEART and dumped us into the bay? We DIED. That wasn't how the vials were made to work and it was tossed because it was faulty anyways as far as we can tell._

"Oh great, so I'm a life ruining superman in the afterlife, yeah that makes sense."

 _Let me fucking finish, you ingrate. The lucky thing is that SOMEHOW the vial worked when it shouldn't have. Because YOU chose Negentropy. And THAT filled us up like a balloon and acted like a cosmic defibrillator for both our heart... and our SHARD._

"...What? Our dead shard? So we brought an Eden Shard BACK TO LIFE?!"

 _Hold up. It's not bad. And let me explain why._

"HOW THE FUCK IS THAT NOT BAD?!"

 _Well, Eden is STILL dead. And the Shard didn't fix that. What it DID though was merge with our biology in an attempt at survival. Problem is that it couldn't leave the heart. So it MADE a new kind of heart/second brain like SUPER ORGAN that could sustain it, but it fucked up. Slightly. Instead of latching on like a parasite, it merged with our body AND soul/aether/whatever the fuck. But by doing so... well. YOU probably was too busy when you were close to Panacea to properly pay attention to your internal biology, but I wasn't. And while I only began PROPERLY existing after you picked up Schrodinger, it was long enough for me to see our fucking internals looks like a fucking Rue-Goldberg machine. So us saying that we're a Case 53 isn't WRONG per say... but more accurately we're something halfway between an Entity and Human._

"...HOW THE FUCK IS THAT GOOD?! YOU'VE JUST ESSENTIALLY ADMITTED WE'RE A SECOND FUCKING SCION!"

 _The good thing is that we started as a human. And we CERTAINLY have no intention on killing off humanity. We'll prove that to Cauldron quite nicely, I think. And then they see that they have an immortal DEFENDER OF HUMANITY until the end of the world and the planet dies of heat death. We are their fucking GOLDEN BOY man. Uh. Well. Not Golden as Scion golden, but more like Fate Kintoki GOLDEN. Especially once we get enough of these delicious fragments to face-roll Endbringers._

"...I am having a nervous breakdown in the middle of a secret underground tunnel. With a split personality that is trying to cheer be up right after breaking me down... I am done. Just done. This day can't get any weirder."

 _Even if I tell you that half of that insanity is the suit?_

"...how the fuck even-"

 _Look, you didn't know it when you bought it, but you don't have a shard in a conventional sense. You ARE the shard. Well your heart is, but its its slowly changing every part of you to reflect it without changing your outward appearance. Then you bought/MADE a physics and reality bending power LITERALLY named Schrodinger._

 _Normally, that's just a power for the Shard to implement by suspending the fabric of reality and allowing you to perform 10 actions on the quantum level because it would allow the SHARD to force itself into a state where it could split and merge itself on 10 separate layered dimensions that perpetuates itself by said dimensions intersecting perpendicularly with ours._

 _Except YOU didn't know that the Shard is a PART of you and now thus exist in a now perpetually nebulously ambiguous position somewhere on the fabric of conceptual reality as a result._

 _NORMALLY, everything about yourself that you reject as not you doesn't STOP BEING YOU. But because YOU WANTED TO EAT WHILE WEARING A MASK you gave yourself the power of QUANTUM FUCKERY! Because of this power now by choosing to be the side of yourself that you DON'T reject, ON A FUCKING QUANTUM LEVEL there exists a YOU (aka ME) that is that of yourself which you DO reject. But we are still yet the same person._

 _IS THAT ENOUGH OF A MIND BEND FOR YOU, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER?!_

 _The readers might not get it, but YOU understand, right?_

 _The suits essentially act as a crutch by allowing you to subconsciously piggy-back off that concept to make you subconsciously compartmentalize WHAT KIND OF JOE LEE YOU ARE AT ANY TIME. You wear the All Might suit, you take all this big hammy parts of yourself and ARE All Might... or the Joe Lee equivalent, at least. You wear the Deadpool suit, and its the same shit. Why the hell do you think you can SEE me?_

 _Nigga you crae._

"...Jesus Christ. I need a drink."

 _Pizza first man. We are STARVING. Just 'cuz we don't need food doesn't mean it doesn't want it. And pizza is good. On a quantum level._

"Amen. And fuck you."

Less than a minute later I was above ground with a brochure I pulled out from my Pocket Room called the Tourist's Guide to Brockton Bay (It had a surprising number of places to grab food ok? I don't trust the PRT phone enough to take it out of Pocket Room for most things and I sure as hell can't go around carrying ALL MIGHT's phone as Deadpool) and began walking.

I ignored the odd stare every once in a while, and was starting to feel odd about people of color seeming to avoid me.

 _The hell's wrong with them? Do we smell like sewers somehow?_

Shit, that reminds me, I need a shower.

 _Are you admitting that we smell? And you didn't think to tell me?_

Shut up.

I didn't really care about the name of the location, but what I DID care about was the fact that this was one of those quick, 10 minute make your own pizza places with a decent following.

The young black girl at the cash register froze at seeing me at the front of the line.

"H-H-How c-can I h-h-h-help... you today, s-sir?"

"Yeah, can I get like, four of those regular sized pizzas? One like a meat lovers, one that's vegetarian, one pepperoni, and a Pineapple and Olive? Just put something together, get creative, I ain't picky." I figured I'd just go for overall coverage. That and I was craving something sweet and salty. Get rid of the foul taste in my fucking soul with some nonsensical pizza with two toppings that had no business sharing space on cheese. And we'd need leftovers for breakfast because I don't want to go shopping for groceries in a cape suit.

She quickly began rolling out dough and tossing on sauces, cheese, and toppings before quickly popping them into the over, avoiding eye contact.

I was so caught up arguing with the Deadpool-me (Bonus Deadpool-me? Because I'm Deadpool-me? How the fuck...) so I honestly didn't even notice these three skin-headed swastika-tatted E88 fuckers until they were inside the store and had fired a handgun into the air before they began demanding money and food like it was their goddamn jobs. That and they were obviously going to shoot the young black lady that was manning the register.

"You do not bite the hand that BAKES YOUR PIZZA PIES. That's like SLEEPING WITH YOUR BARBER!"

 _Deadpool to the rescue. Que the copyrighted Superman soundtracks, children._

I grabbed the gun, the muzzle in the palm of my hand, and jerked it away from the girl's face as the asshole pulled the trigger.

Bullet burst through my palm like it was made of spicy meatballs and the girl flinched as the bullet and blood spray blew just past her face like a hot air and liquid jetstream.

How the hell.. Is this more of that BULLSHIT nebulous existence crap compartmentalizing bullshit don't that with my POWERS as well?

 _Ayup. Convenient isn't it?_

It's like a broken plot device. Wow that was actually good for helping people believe that Deadpool and All Might are different people.

 _It's a way of writing yourself out of a hole, yeah._

I ignored the look of sheer terror on the girl's face as I pulled the gun out of the shocked Nazi's hands.

It was Hero Time.

"The fuck are you doing, brother? She's just a nigger!"

I stared.

Empire 88 wore red and black as their primary colors. I, as the only friendly neighborhood Pool-Boy on Earth Beta, wear black and red...

"...Fuck my sideways and call me Sally, the whole time I've been walking around people have been avoiding me because _THEY THOUGHT I WAS A NAZI?!_ "

 _How the FUCK did BOTH OF US FORGET THAT._

I DON'T KNOW! FUCK WE ARE DUMB AS SHIT!

"...Are... are you not, sir?" the girl that I just saved asked me shakily. Probably still in a bit of shock.

I turned to her with a look of befuddlement that translated pretty well through the mask.

" _Would a Nazi do this?_ "

 _ **BANG BANG**_

I flipped the handgun around and squeezed out two shots as I blew out the right kneecaps of the two Nazis that HADN'T shot me yet. I DID pick up Marksman for a reason, you know.

 _Almost didn't cuz you're a Peeping Tom lookin' ass fucker that almost chose PRT Info._

They screamed in pain as they clutched their legs. Their racist screams like music to my ears.

Maybe for some it was blood curdling, but after the shit I've been through today, it was like _a fucking dream_.

"Oh cry me a river. It's like you're so privileged that you've never been shot before." I paused. " _No, wait that's probably EXACTLY what the problem is_. Don't worry. Your friendly neighborhood Deadpool can fix that."

 _ **BANG BANG**_

Two more shots, the other knees of the already injured Nazis blew out as they howled in pain. Just pure catharsis.

" _Fucking hell, a merc with a new lease on life comes in to town looking for a job and turns out, on his very first day, that his costume shares colors with FUCKING ACTUAL NAZIS!_ Oh stop blubbering, knees aren't vital to the human body, schnitzel-fucks. They're more like the appendix and... huh, today is International Appendicitis Awareness day."

"Is it really?" the cashier girl asked nervously. Wow she was beginning to get WAAAY to close to hyperventilating for my liking.

 _No, I'm pretty sure she's ACTUALLY in shock._

Oh. Oops.

"No, but I had you going there for a second didn't I? Silly~" I flicked her nose cheerily, getting a blink of confusion. Then I sniffed the air twice. "Is that urine I smell, or did I somebody forget their adult diapers?"

There were stares of absolute confusion. Like people couldn't understand what the fuck was going on.

Which was fine because I found it REALLY hard give a shit in Deadpool mode. And yes, the two kneecapped Nazis were literally pissing themselves stupid.

 _The way you say Deadpool-mode sounds mega-lame. I'm actually disappointed in you. That shouldn't even BE possible to fuck up._

Bite me.

Still, the Nazi that I stole the gun from wasn't having it.

"YOU RACE TRAIT-" His eyes bulged almost out of their sockets as I shoved the muzzle of his gun into his mouth. There was a light sizzling as the hot metal and trace gunpowder contacted sensitive flesh.

"Oh I'm sorry. _Were you talking shit like a man about to die?_ Or sucking your own dick?" I cocked the gun's hammer with my thumb with a swift and mechanical CLICK. My head wobbled pretentiously at every word.

 _They aren't people. They're animals._

Yes. They _are animals._ But the Shepard is here now motherfuckers. Pucker your assholes.

He stepped back as I pushed the barrel further into his mouth almost reaching the back of his throat.

"I'm waiting for an answer, _prick_."

"H-Huken mah ohn hik..."

" _I don't SPEAK Nazi German mother-FUCKER, answer me in AMERICAN!_ "

"HUCKEN MAH OHN HIK!"

I pulled the gun out of his mouth and against his chin as I stepped into his personal space and caressed his cheek extra gay-like.

Nazis hated gays right? It wasn't just Jews and colored folk?

 _Yup._

Thanks.

"Now you listen here and give this terrified young lady a big tip. She's got some big brass balls for dealing with your dumbass and my sexy one and I've got a soft spot for brave young people like her, ya dig?" I dug the gun harder into his flesh, "But if you don't, well... _you're gonna learn that I have some_ _hard_ _spots too_." My mouth moved next to his ear and my caressing hand began cupping against said ear instead. "Because it's only gay if we touch tips."

"B-but I ha-"

 _ **BANG**_

The bullet grazed his right earlobe, drawing blood, as I flicked away from him and pulled the trigger, making him freeze in fear. Almost shot off my fingers because I wasn't thinking there for a second. Was more looking to shove the fear of the Gay Cape God next to him INTO him, if you know what I mean.

"What're you waiting for, for me to give you a matching set? Bec-"

He pulled his wallet out tossed it on the counter and ran away, leaving his friends behind.

"No fucking camaraderie. He actually left the fucking two of you behind. You two fuckwaffles wouldn't be Italian would you?" I asked the sniveling Nazis on the ground. Oh, they fainted from blood loss.

 _No loss there._

I shoved the slobbered on gun into my empty hip holster. Better 1 gun than no guns.

"So! Are my pizzas done yet?"

You'd think the cops would have shown up before long or that somebody would have been patrolling nearby when this was a busy part of downtown, but nothing happened to me personally. (Was that normal? Or did nobody report injured Nazis? 'Cuz I sure as hell didn't) I got my pizza which I put in the Pocket Room and was walking off.

I needed to see if Sherrel knew any Empire supply depots or the like.

 _Yeah, because how many people get to play the REAL LIFE version of Wolfenstein?_

Precisely, and I probably shouldn't have done that back there. Hindsight is really 20-20. The boat's already been rocking. We should let things calm down, so I should lay low for a bit.

 _But they're animals, remember?_

Look even though I don't like the Nazi's we aren't taking our frustrations out on them more than we already HAVE. I thought we agreed that I should calm down some.

 _I just REALLY enjoyed Wolfenstein thoughhhh._

And I enjoy NOT tipping this boat to the point that it sinks. If I'm doing this, it isn't going to be for a while because this NEEDS a plan. We are NOT going in there like an angry BJ Blazkowicz and run and gunning everything. No matter how fun that would be.

 _Fine. One gun against the entirety of the Nazi party sounds dumb on paper anyways._

Thank you.

 _So get your money together that we can get LOTS of guns to fight the Nazis!_

"Oh lord preserve me." I muttered as I entered one of the secret tunnels that led to the base as the other voice in my head began singing.

 _OOOOOOOOH WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA THROWS HIS MIGHTY SHIELD~_

 _ALL THOSE WHO WOULD OPPOSE HIM MUST NOW YIELD!_

 _Hey we should make one of those songs for All Might. Hell you have the OSTs and OPs memorized. Get a Tinker power, make a program and AI for music and work with'em to remake the MHA Openings but with REAL LIFE footage of you fighting! Shieeeet. Shoot that PR through the roof boi!_

Please tell me that you're not this annoying when I'm dressed as All Might.

 _Partly. This part of me doesn't feel the need to bother you unless you ACTUALLY need it when you're in that suit. Because when I do I'm growing a man-gina sharing the same headspace as that part of you. Not that man-gina's aren't fun, but it gets confusing in bed when people would have to choose between that and my ass-pu-_

OK THAT'S ENOUGH THANK YOU!

"Sherrel? I'm back! Where are you?" I called out. I had the pizza boxes laid out on a small table in the kitchen area and had no idea where she was at the moment.

"Oh, I was borrowing that Fabricator of yours! Just a second!"

The Fabricator? What did she...

Oh.

 _Oh Daddy Fucking LIIIIIIIIKES_.

Hush.

Sherrel was wearing a skintight full body red bodysuit that zipped up from just below the waist. The top of it was customized to look like an old 50s leather greaser jacket, capable of zipping all the way up to the chin, but currently open to her sternum revealing plenty of cleavage. White accents and lines accented the whole outfit to keep it from being tacky and her shoes which were still part of the whole body suit were like platform shoes with raised heels.

With uh... very, uh, thick soles.

 _Like her thighs and ass?_

Sure let's go with that.

"I, uh, thought I could use a new costume for rebranding myself. I was wondering if we could get me a red motorcycle helmet with a visor so I could modify it with a few things too... Is it too much?"

"No-" FUCK MY VOICE CRACKED. I coughed. "No, uh. Wow. That's great. And all the more power to ya for taking initiative with it. We might need to zip that up a bit more when outside the base though. For the uh pen- PRESS. Yeah. PR is... PR is important. You decided on a name?"

She nodded.

"Rider."

 _YESSIR I'LL RIDE HER!_

I swallowed my tongue. Hurrrk. HELP.

 _Want me to slap you mentally?_

Please.

My head rang like a bell for a second before I blinked and it was gone.

Ok, better.

"Ok. Sounds good. Well, I got a good selection here, take your pick, mix and match, do whatever. Don't freak out that one of them is pineapple and olives though. I, uh, sometimes have weird tastes."

"No worries. I was actually craving something sweet and salty."

 _Yeah you wer-_

HUSH YOU. Fuck I'm gonna change back to the All Might suit.

 _You win this battle, but you won't win the wa-_

I swapped to one of the intact All Might suits and pulled down the facemask (she trusted me with her face, it was only fair that I do the same) and smiled.

"Joe Lee, by the way. Trust should go both ways and I didn't really get a good chance to properly introduce myself. I'm glad that you're trusting me enough to help me out."

She smiled brilliantly at me.

Ah the pangs of guilt again. Shit. I didn't feel that shit in the Deadpool suit at all... Well in the Deadpool suit it was more like the guilt was drowned out by the skintight bodysuit pushing all the right buttons, but still. Shit.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: SI better better not get gender confused because Earth Bet isn't ready for Lady Pool and SHE MIGHT.

So things are gonna get to slow down a bit. All Might isn't going nowhere. Deadpool is beginning to get some air time. Joe Lee SI gets saved by a mix of alien biology and conceptually reality bending fuckaroo and gets to NOT have his fucking psyche shatter like a vase dropped from the Empire State Building. Because I feel like nobody is taking the fact that what he did in that hospital WAS NOT FUCKING HEALTHY for him. Especially the SI.

Because if it doesn't go over well with Cauldron... that alien bio MIGHT not be good...

I didn't want to spoil exactly why the SI used Suzerain so easily, but I felt it really needed explaining. Because after the hospital he should have been AND WAS falling the fuck apart and just had no idea.

I was glad to have rolled the crit fails at the end because it gave me an out and the MC was able to hold on to a semblance of sanity using Sherrel (Squealer) as a pillar. Because SI NEEDS someone he can confide in that prolly won't betray him. Especially considering that he's been absolutely alone through all of this I GOTTA SAVE THE FUCKING WORLD shit that he took upon his shoulders. (Because of course I would feel responsible for that just because I know SOME of the story when I don't even know most of the timeline. I never claimed to be smart.)

Pat my Reon.


	9. Setting Things In Motion ft: Glory Girl

AN: A nice, slow chapter. Some fun character interactions. Setting a few things in motion... helping an old lady across the street. Well, checkmark's done. Here's the chapter.

Also, MC isn't crazy, he now exists in a state where he does and doesn't exist at the same time. He is LITERAL schrodinger's cat. There being multiples of him at any given moment is the norm for him now, rather than him ACTUALLY being crazy. It DOES help him cope with all that mental shit because there's a version of him willing to help him through his shit, but that might also be because his heart is a lesser, 2nd brain at this point.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

"So... You wanna talk about it, Joe?"

"Not really, Danny."

"Well I do, because you're lounging on my couch and have been nursing a milkshake for two hours... In costume... And I have a crowd of reporters outside my office."

I pointedly ignored the flashes of camera lights from the vicinity of the office window as I took another sip of my drink. How was this still cold?

"Hey, you can take the opportunity to get the Dockworker's Union some publicity. I don't mind."

Danny rolled his eyes as he filed another piece of paper, signing and stamping something.

"So... you know how I'm a Case 53 right?"

"A lot more outwardly human than most, but yes?" Danny shrugged, humoring me. "What about it?"

"Well, once I started healing people I realized that I'm a LOT different on the inside... My heart doubles as a lesser second brain and hell, my insides look so wack that I don't know how it's keeping me alive... And it got me thinking, you know?" While I lied about HOW I found out about my body situation, I assure you the concern that I wanted to address Danny about was not.

"About?..."

"Can I still have kids?"

Danny choked on his coffee.

"COUGH! AH! HOT DAM-nabbit! Shoot, it's all over the paperwork..." Danny sighed as he wiped himself and his table down, "I'm sure you'll be fine. I haven't heard of a Case 53 being unable to have kids."

"Haven't heard of them having one either."

"Come on, don't worry, kid. I'm sure All Might won't have any lady problems. Rather I have half a mind to keep you away from my daughter, young hero. I'm actually a bit concerned about how many times she's re-watched that New Jersey Smash video on YouTube. Or talking about your suit design. Where'd you get the the suit by the way? Looks good on you. Must have been hard getting something that good quality that fast."

"Honestly? There was a duffel bag in my apartment bathroom when I got home after dinner with you and Taylor. I assumed it was PRT. Or Dragon." But more like I placed it there with Pocket Room and pretended to marvel at it with glee just in case my house was bugged.

Danny coughed as he choked on his coffee.

"Dragon?!"

I slurped on my milkshake. Mmm. Strawberry... this is the kind of thing that can happen when you avoid the subject, Danny old pal.

"She showed up on my laptop to introduce me to the PHO. She's a PRT person right?"

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You can't just suddenly say that Dragon appeared on your laptop."

"Dragon appeared on my laptop. She helped me make my PHO accounts." I shrugged, chuckling inwardly at Danny's reaction. "What's weird about that sentence?"

Danny shook his head.

"It's easy to forget you're a Case 53. Well I'm not a huge cape follower, but Taylor has a few favorites. Like Armsmaster. She ships the two of them, whatever that means, and Dragon is pretty well known as the best Tinker in the world. Everyone talks about how she's half the reason anything gets done by the Protectorate."

"The heck is she helping new capes with PHO accounts for then?"

You know, aside from leaving programs to keep track of my search history?

Danny laughed.

"Must have seen something special in ya. Well, I suppose after yesterday nobody can say she's got a bad sense of talent."

Being reminded of yesterday, I still felt guilt over the whole gang war situation, even though _other Joe_ was still trying to convince me that it wasn't my fault... No. Bad thoughts. Think good thoughts. Positive ones.

I knew that, really in the end, I had no control of how the situation escalated... but it didn't keep the bitter feelings completely at bay.

"I just feel bad that me being there made Squealer drive a truck into the hospital cafeteria."

Even if she felt repentant about it.

"Apparently it was supposed to be a distraction so that they could bust Skidmark out of jail. Fortunately Armsmaster happened to be in on duty and, well, no matter how gross Mush got over a few days ago, it wasn't gross enough to beat him. His power suit has all sorts of filters, so he was ok. I just feel bad for the PRT Troopers." Danny shuddered at the thought of dealing with Mush. "Ugh. Their whole bodies AND their HQ are filth ridden right now. Been keeping the police busy though since there's so much to do that PRT is actually handing off some of the non-crucial work down to the BBPD because giant shit stains in the streets don't need forensic experts to tell that there was a gang fight in a location and shutting them down and keeping the contested locations out of gang custody actually is gonna make the city money. Once those places get cleaned they get auctioned off, its income for the town. Even better is that the buyers are being screened so as to make sure they have nothing to do with the current gangs."

Oh? Maybe that's why nobody showed up for the Nazis yesterday?

"Well that's good? Haven't had much to do with BBPD, but I'm sure they must be fine people."

Danny shook his head, snorting through his nose.

"Well on one hand they have a hard time operating as their and the PRT's jurisdictions cross over a lot. On the other hand at least a quarter of them are corrupt as hell."

I rolled my eyes as I finally finished the last of my drink.

"Well, I should get going. Thanks for putting up with me, Danny. Got some questions for a friend of a friend, and I'm owed a drink, so..."

Danny nodded me off as he finished cleaning off his desk and pulling some papers from a filing cabinet.

"Don't mention it, kid. Just give Hanna, my secretary, an autograph on the way out. Poor girl almost fainted when you walked in. Heh." Danny chuckled, "She's had a rough week and I'd appreciate it if you helped cheer her up."

"Not a problem. Later, Danny!"

After quick selfie and hug with Hanna and signing both a coffee mug AND her cell phone case later, I headed out of Danny's office and dealt with the throng of reporters.

Smile with the eyes... Smile with the eyes... REALLY smile with the eyes!

Firstly, I stated I was busy and only had time for a few questions.

Was I part of the PRT?

"No, not at the moment. They introduced me to their Wards program, but I'm afraid that I've only been in town for a few days now. I acted because there were people who needed saving, but being part of something that big is a little overwhelming for me at the moment."

That seemed to take their attention for a bit as there were a bunch more photos. Absentmindedly I wondered if I should have bothered with the teenage hero act as All Might, but too late now I guess. Also if the PRT started shit and tried to gangpress me into the Wards by some twisted, 'He's pretending to be older, but needs proper guidance!' BS, I would be pretty ticked off.

How do I feel about the gang wars in Brockton Bay?

"It's terrible. Hatred only begets hatred. They're just perpetuating a dark cycle. I hope to put a wrench in that."

Why did I choose to be called All Might?

"Right now we live in dark times. I hope to bring those times to an end. To do so, I must be greater than the me I was before. To be a Symbol of Peace. For that I needed a name that would be grand enough to dare dream of the occupation. And, well... All Might is just a letter shy of the All Mighty, so..."

Most everyone had a chuckle.

"And with that, we are out of questions! I bid you all a good day!" I leapt into the air, creating updraft and hoping that not too many of the female reporters were wearing skirts, "New Hampshire Smash!"

I jetted off into the city.

"Hmm. If I had a cape I could pretend this was the opening to MHA season 2."

Using a mixture of Vector Push and kicking out with my legs before I got too close to the ground or the top of a building was good enough to break my fall with a cushion of air. And also if I wanted to push the momentum further while already in air. Like a reverse Spider-Man mode of transport.

Also good for drawing lots of attention to myself.

Another leap and I was accompanied by a tall platinum blonde girl flying next to me while looking as if she was laying on her back.

"That a magic carpet or a cape?"

"Why, looking to show me a whole new world?" Victoria Dallon aka Glory Girl winked at me, before looking me up and down appreciatively, "...actually that might be worth a ride."

I laughed as I kicked with Vector Push and juggled myself over to the railing of another business building and launched off of it, making it easier to extend my airtime.

"I'm afraid that I'm one power short of an Alexandria package, so you'd have to do the heavy lifting."

"Oh, I don't know about that, mister New Jersey Smash. Looks like you're handling yourself _pretty_ well."

I shrugged.

"Sometimes if you have a problem, you just use enough brute force and then suddenly it's not a problem."

Glory Girl laughed and flipped over as her hair flew out of her eyes, the radiant peaks of her tiara shining through.

"I know right?! Well... maybe not _ALWAYS_ , but I totally getcha. Still, this might be the first time I've seen someone BRUTE STRENGTH the fact that they can't fly." she giggled again, "Better not be trying any of that brute strength mentality with your patients though."

I shrugged and gave her a sly look.

"I don't know, isn't it pretty much brute strength if I heal someone by letting them touch my abs?"

Glory Girl spun in the air as if she lost concentration, falling behind I as I jumped away cackling.

She caught up quickly enough before pushing me in the air making me spin around and land on the top of some fancy rooftop cafe's patio area.

"Jerk! I almost choked laughing!" she was still a little red-faced from forcing herself to catch up and struggling not to laugh like a manic person, "I almost fell!"

"Banter while flying. Truly the super-flight equivalent of texting and driving. Shame on you Glory Girl. You should be an example for the masses."

She snorted faux-elegantly before flipping a strand of hair over her shoulder.

"I have no idea what you might be talking about." She said poshly.

We both stared at each other before cracking out in laughter again.

"Well it's nice to meet you in person, Glory Girl. I am All Might." I said as I extended my hand to her to shake, "Tell Panacea I said hello. I was grateful for all of her help yesterday. I couldn't have done that alone."

"Hey the one Ames wants to thank is you." Glory Girl laughed as she shook my hand. My hand almost felt like it was slipping around on some liquid metal surface sans the heat through her force field. I had to actively keep my weaker version via Power Hub off to not give away THAT secret. "And feel free to call me Vicky. You saved my sister's life. Heck I don't know if I could've reacted that quickly after looking at that video... Seriously. Thank you."

She subconsciously tightened her grip and I quietly nodded.

"It was my pleasure. I'm just glad she was fine."

"I, thanks. I just feel so dumb. All I did was go around flying and glaring at any gangbangers looking like they wanted to start something. I didn't think anybody would be stupid enough or drugged up enough to attack a damn hospital." She huffed while waving me over to a seat.

I guess she had made a reservation or was a regular, as a waitresses quickly came by with menus for the two of us and a small pot of tea for Vicky.

Probably the latter, seeing as Vicky poured out a cup for herself without pausing as she spooned in some sugar and stirred.

"Oh, this is, like, super good chai. Want some?"

I nodded and she poured me a cup.

I took a sip, no sugar.

"Oh wow."

"Right? It's perfect for keeping warm on days like this too, so I figured you'd appreciate it."

I nodded, not feeling a need to correct her just because I had the Immunity power.

"Mmm. Winter is coming."

"Tell me about it. The cold is terrible for my hair, too." Vicky complained, "But enough about me. What was it that you wanted to ask me?"

"Well... I was hoping, since your mother Brandish is a lawyer, that she might know any that specialized with Cape rebranding or Capes in general."

Vicky quirked a brow as she thumbed through her menu.

"Getting cold feet? Bought boots too big to fill?" She teased.

"I... can I show you how my healing works? There's something I have to show you about this for you to fully understand."

Vicky bit her lip before nodding.

"Ok, I'll trust you for a bit. But how are we-"

A forehead flick blew her barrier apart and her hair fluttering back like she was a shampoo hair model (which admittedly, she could totally pull off). I near simultaneously nicked her finger with a dining knife, only just enough for a droplet of blood.

"Whoa-ow! Give a girl some warning why don't you? And how the hell did you know how my barriers... oh."

She paused as the cut on her finger seemed to fade out of existence as it appeared on mine, the blood still outside of her body as it was merely colored sweat.

"That was odd. You _took_ the injury from me and I could... _feel_ that you felt that knife. That's trippy. And... oh my god. DID YOU DO THIS ALL DAY YESTERDAY?!" she slammed her hands on the table, almost cracking it with her now restored force field.

"Vic-"

"Don't you Vicky me, All Might, this is serious! How did you even... Ugh, I feel sick just thinking about it."

I sighed.

"Yes, every bit of pain, the terrible things that they saw, even their fear. I feel it all. And that is exactly why I need your help. Because there is a person that I am trying to save."

"...No. You're not seriously-"

"Vicky. Please listen for-"

"She tried to KILL you! Tried to kill my sister! Tried to kill-"

" **Stop being such a child**."

She flinched as I stared at her with disappointment. Being only able to see things from one side of the conversation, she couldn't imagine that because she technically wasn't in the wrong how her words could be so shameful.

"Imagine just for a minute that you weren't as blessed as you are. Your parents are drug addicts living paycheck to paycheck and are terrible enough people to beat you and drug you up for crying that you were hungry or thirsty just to get you to shut up. Barely treated like a human being and desperately surviving day to day. One day, things get too hard, you Trigger. And your parents sell you off because NOW you're worth something to them. All for enough drugs to just last them a month. Because _that was all you were worth to them_. Then you're used in _every_ sense of the word as they break you and nobody was there to reach out to you. Because _nobody cared_... I can't stand it. If nobody wants to reach out, then I will. If nobody will save them, _I will_. Because, for me, THAT is what it means to be a hero."

"...ok. You're right. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to... sorry."

I sighed, closing my eyes.

"I am too. I don't wish to take my frustration out on you, nor is it fair to. I just needed you to understand that there is somebody I must save. And I need your help. You don't have to forgive her. Just give her a hand so that _she can have a chance_. Because nobody ever gave her that opportunity. Help me save her."

Victoria sat back down (she had been floating upwards slowly but surely in anger) as she absentmindedly stirred her tea.

She sighed.

And we were awkwardly interrupted by a waitress.

Victoria ordered some overpriced blueberry cheesecake and I got a BLT.

We nibbled in silence. At least until I realized WOW this was REALLY good bacon, and quickly, but neatly, ate it up.

"This wasn't what I had in mind when you messaged me saying that you were down for that drink." She joked, a little miserably, playing with her slice of half eaten cheesecake "I thought I'd get to hang out with a hunk, enjoy a little eye candy, make my boyfriend jealous and have a little laugh has he got defensive before assuring him that, no, the New Jersey Smash man wasn't gonna sweep me off my feet."

"What's with everyone calling me that today? It CAN'T already be a meme."

"It's the internet. And of course it is. I don't care how goddamn hot it looks, it's even more stupid that you have enough brute strength that it works."

"It's a legitimate technique! It's an anti-grappling and anti-restraint maneuver! It was that or the Oklahoma Smash, but the latter's more of an anti-dogpile technique."

"Firstly, I want you to teach my boyfriend how to properly pull the New Jersey Smash off then, mister legitimate technique. Secondly, what's the Oklahoma Smash?"

I laughed, "Well according to the posts people are making on my page of the PHO, I must first see if you are worthy for the secrets of Smash-Fu."

"Pshhh. Boys. Wanting to smash toys when they're small. Wanting to smash girls when they grow up."

"That's not what I meant." I sweat-dropped, "And now I realize we're getting off topic. So back to the dreadfully boring lawyering..."

"Yeah, yeah. I can think of a few that mom's complained about, especially when they beat her in the courtroom. Two specifically when you consider that they turned Villains around into Rogues without too much of a problem. I'm guessing you wanna flip Squealer into a Hero though?"

"Only if she's comfortable with it. I have no intention on pushing her in a direction against her will. Most likely, she'll end up as a Rogue that caters more towards the non-criminal side of things. Better and safer public transport. The odd monster truck for a truck rally. Heck she's already drawing up blueprints for improved PRT armored transport to try to work up their good side."

Victoria gave a look of astonishment.

"Wow. She... sounds a lot more serious about this than I thought she'd be."

"It's the first time in about a decade that she's been able to be in a situation to make her own decisions with clear thoughts, no drug addiction to get in the way of anything, and someone encouraging her to do something positive with her life. Also helps that she's somewhere nobody suspects."

"And where is that, oh, all-giving All Might?"

"That, Victoria, is what we call a secret."

"Pfft. You suck. And you're boring." She faux-mocked, giving me a fake stink-eye before laughing. "Well that's fair. How is she gonna build stuff though? Won't you need to get her tools and materials?"

"It's been taken care of."

Because a new cape/merc in town named Deadpool raided her old Merchant garage/workshop and Pocket Room is OP HAX. Also there are like, three different abandoned car junkyards in town.

OP HAX.

"I just need to properly pick up some paint once I'm in civvies, and we're set with proof of concept models. I looked up some photos of her old work and was a bit concerned, but her without the drugs messing her up or Skidmark drugging her up the gills to force her to 'Work Better', her designs are actually really something else. Hell, I'm half tempted to ask her to make ME something just so I can have a joyride."

The only reason why I WONT ( _Aside from the Deadpool-mobile!_ Shut up, dude.) is that I'd rather she focus on proving to the city that she's a benefit and worth a second chance.

"Ooooh~ There room for a fellow thrill seeker in that tinker-tech joyride?"

I laughed, "Only if you spill with the name of the lawyer firms already. We can take it to the edge of town and floor it around in that old airport that never finished getting built. Runway looks perfect for a bit of fun. Hell, I'll let you bring your boy toy around and give the thing a whirl."

"Deal!" Vicky almost squealed, "Ok, gimme a sec. I take a pic of like, EVERY business card 'cuz carrying around like, a hundred of them suuuucks. I never thought mom making me catalog them would come in handy, but hey! Whattya know? They should just totally make them digital now."

I nodded.

"We have the technology."

"Right?! Ah, here it is, gimme your phone number, I'll text it to ya."

"Actually, why don't you let me write this down. I'll give you my number though."

"Dope. We should totally hang sometimes. You're pretty chill when you ease up on the intensity. Leave Dad Might at home when we youngsters go out for a good time, ok?"

"Yes mom. Whatever you say mom."

Vicky flicked her napkin at me, I snatched it out of the air and pulled out a pen.

"Where'd the pen come from?"

"Belt has pockets?"

"Bullshit! I stared at your ass enough while we were on the way here! You don't have pockets in your belt!"

"Looking at my ass too much and not my belt then. What would your boyfriend say?"

"Look, nobody loses when I look at pretty things. Naturally, _his_ eyes must stay on me."

"Because _you're_ the prettiest thing in the room?"

Vicky preened like a peacock at the 'praise'.

"You learn fast. Hmmm. Yup. You'll do after all."

"Do for what?" I asked as I scribbled down the card details and then tore off a piece of napkin to write my number on for her.

"For my dear baby sister of course!"

I sighed again.

"We met one time. And people are already shipping us online for some reason. Cure All actually sounds good, which is kind of a problem just how catchy that is."

"So you agree!" Vicky grinned, waggling her eyebrows.

"I haven't agreed to anything." I rolled my eyes, "and I'm not sure how Panacea feels about you trying to pawn her off for sweet joyrides on a tinker-tech ride that doesn't exist yet."

"Pffft. You're a catch, believe me. She'll thank me later."

"I'm serious in saying, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works."

"Hey, you saying that's just proof that you're a good guy. Shoot, if I wasn't single, we might be having a different conversation right now." She winked playfully.

I rolled my eyes again. Not real likely considering I'm mentally 24. Even if Peak Condition did de-age me a little (fuck me man, I was most fit when I was in 8th grade. It apparently needed SOMETHING to base off of), physically I was still 19. Once again, just a bit too old as far as I was concerned.

"Not gonna happen, Vicky."

"Fine, fine. You'll change your mind once you see her out of uniform and in something proper. People always say Ames is mousey and short, but that's because they've never properly seen how hop heavy she is." Vicky blabbered as she began floating away, "I could set you up with something if you doubt me~"

"I'll be sure to tell Panacea the next time I see her at the hospital exactly what you said word for-"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, WIND TOO LOUD, BYE!"

 _And that, kids, is How I Met Your Mother._

I will 2nd Trigger Schrodinger just to stab you.

Satisfied withe continued silence I leapt off the patio after learning that Vicky had asked the staff to put everything on her tab.

A New Hampshire Smash later, I was soaring.

A surprising four Entropy Fragments floated in my flames. Really mine considering how I technically don't have a shard anymore.

I wonder if maybe bloom derived Shards just give more or its that Vicky ALWAYS has her power on.

Hmm. Food for thought.

I also supposed that maybe I might be immune to Master type powers, because I felt nothing like an awe or fear aura around Vicky.

I didn't know if she could turn them off or not, but I was under the impression that she couldn't at the moment.

Maybe my pseudo Entity biology made me Master proof? Note to self: get this properly tested.

If that's the case, Deadpool's claim to fame HAS to be killing Heartbreaker. That and because hypocrisy aside is SERIOUSLY a man that needs to die.

Still, that was just a thought for another time. In the meanwhile...

I landed on the ground, using bursts of Vector Push to let me land without causing a huge crater on the ground or shaking up the town.

"Here, let me help you with that, miss." I said, lifting a large bag of groceries off the ground as I began helping an old lady across the street.

People in Worm may have forgotten that super-heroing was originally derived from community service, but I had no intention of doing the same.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: I think the SI's interactions with Glory Girl came out pretty well. They had some fun banter, SI went big brother/DadMight on her for a second, then mellowed out again, got what he wanted and she dipped out in a cheery way and everyone got to walk away happy.

Gallant isn't gonna take them meeting well though. It wasn't a CRIT FAIL, but he DID roll a 2 to keep his shit together once he finds out that SI and Glory were seen having lunch together. Yeesh. Jealous teenagers. Man that isn't gonna be fun.


	10. First Day of School Always Carries Drama

AN: So quick timeskip summary!

Day after meeting with Glory Girl, SI meets and talks with law firm. Takes up most of day.

Next 4 days be chilling, hanging with Heberts and getting stuff ready for Rider rebranding. On 4th day ID and other shit comes in.

Fifth day begins with this chapter, so this has been a SHORT timeskip.

Also, love the big debates in spacebattles chat about sacrifice. Its rough and painful, but you really have to think about that kind of thing.

* * *

BEGIN

* * *

"This day can't get any worse."

Taylor blew a strand of hair out of her eyes as she rolled her eyes at me.

"The great All Might can't handle a few high schoolers? What would the press say?"

"Firstly, you aren't out of hot water yet, Taylor, 'cuz I need to know why you're being bullied and why you haven't said anything to Danny. Secondly, All Might can handle anything, it's Joe Lee that can't. Because NOBODY told me that going here was going to be like being the star of an Axe commercial!"

Taylor rolled her eyes as she angrily forked up her cold spaghetti.

"You're a buffer, vaguely asian Schwarzenegger was teenaged, his muscle proportions reassembled like God wanted to make man all over again, and came to school in the tightest t-shirt known to the known universe walked into the halls and was actually a nice guy. Which should be impossible since your wearing Oakley's shades with red lenses."

I groaned.

"The PRT chose the shades and claimed that I had a light sensitively and needed them medically. And I didn't know the shirt was gonna shrink in the wash." I muttered. "And no avoiding the fact that you're being bullied. Whatever it is, I'm gonna fix it. Now spill."

Taylor nibbled on her fork and wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Look, I know that something's not right with the fact alone that Danny said that Emma girl was your best friend, but I saw her trip you in the hallway and nobody did anything. I don't know why no teacher is out being anything resembling a hall monitor, but none of the students batted an eye. That's NOT normal. And definitely not ok."

"...I don't know. A year ago I was super excited for school because it's been a long time since I've shared classes with Emma, but... she's different since high school started. Like she suddenly became a different person over the summer break before freshman year, and... look, it's nothing to bother you over, its-"

I flicked Taylor's forehead (obviously holding back like hell. I can burst Glory Girl's force field, I'm not gonna crack Taylor's skull) just enough for the skin to turn a little red.

"Ow! Hey!"

"Taylor." I said, taking off my colored lenses and making proper eye contact (we were on the roof, where nobody could see us) "I'm not All Might right now, I'm Joe Lee. The same Joe Lee that your dad saved after washing up on the docks. The SAME Joe Lee that spent the past two days geeking over capes stuff with you as you helped me get school supplies together, and DEFINITELY am the SAME Joe Lee that considers you a friend. And even IF I was All Might right now, it would still be something I considered my problem. Heroes don't stand there when their friends get bullied, you know."

Taylor chuckled weakly as she rubbed her forehead.

"You make it sound like I'm being silly when you put it that way."

I rolled my eyes at her before putting the tinted shades back on.

"Because you are being silly."

Taylor nibbled on another pasta noodle before continuing.

"I think it's Sophia Hess. I've never heard Emma mention her once, and suddenly she's all buddy-buddy with her when we started high school. I... I don't want to point fingers, but Emma had a lot of friends she used to complain and talk about, and I don't remember her being mentioned once. Madison's been working with them too, but she's more of a tag-along than a real problem. But Emma knows everything about me, and has been slowly is making things more and more personal and..." She stabbed her fork into a meatball, "...I just feel so betrayed."

"For a year now huh?... Well, sudden changes like this don't come from nowhere. It definitely sounds like something big happened to her in the summer preceding her freshman year. And nothing good, if she's changed enough that she's bullying her best friend." I munched on my giant sub. Mmm. French bread is my favorite. Swiss cheese, Italian deli meats, German sauerkraut... Every mouthful is like like a taste of the European Union. "We need to see if anything traumatic happened over summer break."

"...I remember that her dad went to the hospital. Dad was on the phone and didn't realize I was close enough to overhear. Something about ABB."

Well that's something that lines up with my limited fanfiction affected Worm knowledge.

"Maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe she was with her dad and something happened... hey, Emma's dad is a lawyer, right? Think he might have sued whoever attacked him? Either way, we have a lead to work with."

Taylor chewed, then nodded.

"Technically, it wouldn't be the first time he's sued somebody." She admitted, "Mr. Barnes sometimes had a weird temper. I know he tried suing the mailman for something once."

I choked on sandwich. NO. Just... NO FUCKING WAY.

"Joe? Are you ok? Need some water?"

I chugged down some cold water from a plastic bottle. I don't think Taylor understood the implication that comes to mind about suing mail/milkmen.

"Ooof. Sorry, swallowed too fast. We can look into some court case stuff, I guess. We'll have to ask around where we can find that stuff because I haven't the foggiest."

And look into that mailman fiasco. There HAD to be a funny story behind that.

"I'll visit the library on the way home." Taylor volunteered, "I know you're still trying to get everything together for the Squ- I mean, Rider thing. Can I see the test models once she's done? I know you showed me a copy of the blueprints already and that's big, but PLEEEEEEASE."

I ruffled her hair, getting an indignant squawk, "Sure. We need to give'em a test run anyways. Just-"

Live & Learn began blasting from my phone.

"Shit." I swore as I fumbled for my phone, "Always forget to turn them on vibrate." More like no need to because I keep it in Pocket Dimension normally.

"Hello?"

"All Might! Oh, shit. Sorry, you might be in school too, I forgot. Shit. Wait, that's not why I'm calling. Look, I don't know if you know, but one of the people at the cafe took photos of us and posted it on their personal blog. And I don't know why, but a friend of mine actually follows that blog. Problem is they're also friends with my boyfriend who... well..."

Ah fuck. Gallant, y u do dis. Follow your namesake more properly!

"Vicky, slow down. I only caught like HALF of what you said."

Taylor made an odd face as she repeated Vicky's name before a look of realization appeared.

"IS THAT GLORY GIRL?!" she hissed at me quietly enough to not be caught by the mic, "Since when have you had GLORY GIRLS NUMBER?!"

I gave her a 'Hush for now' look, finger over my mouth and everything as I kept listening.

"Look, long story short, my boyfriend might have seen the picture and jumped to conclusions. I tried explaining what we were meeting about and I might have mentioned that you were trying to flip Squealer around into something positive, but I don't think he was REALLY listening. I... he... I'm so sorry about my stupid-URGH! He went and told the PRT you know where Squealer is. They're probably going to come looking for you to get you to turn her in. I'm SO sorry..." Vicky sniffled from her side of the line, sounding as if she was or already had at some point been crying.

I sighed. Fucking hell. Teenage drama. I thought I was done with this after high scho... fuck I'm back in high school again. Shit. Ok, fuck, think. If the PRT had their way, they'd get Squealer and have her pump out tinker-tech vehicles the same way that Skidmark did, just without the drugs and a hell lot more regulations and bureaucracy. Guess what WASN'T gonna happen to her today?

"It's not your fault, and I'm certain that your boyfriend wasn't TRYING to be a dick. People get jealous for the smallest things, sometimes. It's what love does to you. It happens, it's ok. What we SHOULD do, is deal with the situation at hand."

"I wasn't trying to mess this up I swear-"

"Vicky! I know. And I believe you, it's ok. I'll just bump a few things forward and we'll deal with it. I don't blame you. It's fine."

Vicky sniffed from her side of the line.

"You sure I can't apologize by setting you up with Amy?" she joked half-heartedly, nose still runny.

"No." I laughed, "And stop trying to pawn off your sister, it's a bad habit. And you should really check if she even wants to be in a relationship right now. Or, hell, maybe just a thought, but she might not be into guys at all. I don't know, let her do the searching maybe."

I heard a weak chuckle from my phone, "Are you sure you're not a therapist?"

"Nah. I did try applying for godhood once."

"Pft. Ok, super-Jesus. Thanks for cheering me up. I'm gonna go and chew out my boyfriend again."

"Just remember to REALLY use the canines. And the molars."

"Only if that's a part of your ten commandments."

"Number 2. After Thou Shalt Save the Lost."

"I'll convert to that. Ok. Later."

I sighed again as she hung up. "Taylor, you look like a puppy. You can stop with the eyes already."

"You were just on the phone with GLORY GIRL! She's Brockton Bay's own Alexandria in the making! Well, aside from you, but you can't fly." She ribbed a little playfully.

"Smashes don't count?" I asked with a hurt expression.

She rolled her eyes with a cheeky grin, "Not until you make the school of Smash-Fu available for the public."

I snorted.

"You're not gonna let that go are you? Don't think I haven't noticed how you started a RP Smash-Fu Dojo thread on PHO."

"You can't prove anything!" She quickly retorted, flushing at having been caught, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I saw you make an extra account and name it Madame Spider. And then later that day a certain new thread started under that name called-"

"Noooo!" she cried as she covered my mouth with her hands. "You saw nothing!"

I gave her a look that and then began dialing a new number before pointing to the phone screen to prove that I wasn't calling Danny just to embarrass her. With that she let me go.

While some uplifting chatter was JUST what I needed to unwind a bit before I began rushing the Squealer to Rider event forwards, I also needed to actually begin rushing that through.

"Hello? Yes, Mr. Rookwood. This is All Might. I thought I could avoid it for a couple more days, but I suppose that the fact we got five days without the PRT questioning me was really lucky anyways. We're gonna have to move up the... oh. Everything's ready? That was fast. I thought we were expecting another... I told you that I was more than happy to heal young Anthony. Yes. Oh, gosh, I really appreciate that, but you didn't have to. Ok. Yes. Thank you so much. I'll keep in touch. Thank you again. Mhm? Yeah, pass the phone, I got this. Hey, Tony. How's the leg? No, that's great. You got some real talent. Yeah, just make sure when you go to the world cup, you send a ticket my way, ha ha. Mhm. Aww, bud. I know they're icky, but you won't grow big and strong like me if you don't eat your greens, ok? Ok. Give the phone back to your dad. Alright, I'll see you soon, kiddo. Hey again Mr. Rookwood. So when are we doing the hearing? Tomorrow? Wow, ok. Sure. Sounds good to me. Thanks so much again for this. Hey, hey, I'll make sure to call you Ted out of professional situations. I owe you a lot for this. Yeah you have a good day."

"Well, I learned two things today." Taylor quipped as she finished off her lunch.

"Hmm? What is it?" I asked as I pocketed my phone.

"One, you've got the devil's luck right now. Two, you're good with kids."

I ruffled her hair again.

"Well, that explains why I get along so well with you."

"I'm not a kid!" she exclaimed indignantly, "I'm almost an adult you know!"

"Senior." I pointed to myself, "Sophomore." I pointed to her. "Guess who wins."

"You win the Big Jerk Award is what you win." Taylor gruffed. Or attempted to gruff. From a teenage girl it was more like a cute huff.

"Yeah, yeah." I laughed, pausing as the lunch bell rang. "Let's just head back to class."

"Ugh. Another hour at Winslow is an hour too long."

I nodded in agreement as I picked up Taylor (as she yelped in surprise) and hopped down from the roof, making sure that she wasn't hurt from the fall.

She slapped my shoulder angrily (and lightly, which felt EXTRA light because of my body's natural toughness) "You don't just bridal carry a girl without warning!" she hissed.

I smirked and shrugged.

"Ok, I'll make sure it's a fireman's carry next time then."

"What? No, wait, Joe! COME BACK HERE!" she chased me in horror as I ran away cackling.

It was so much fun to mess with people.

The good thing was that being a 'Senior' allowed me to sign up for 'fun' classes. Like Theater, which I did legitimately enjoy when I was in High School. The problem was that I couldn't actually perform in a school play, because I had other extracurricular responsibilities (Cape Life), but hey. You can't win them all.

The class was bare-bones and lacking in funding, but the teacher had enough enthusiasm to make it work.

After that was film-studies. I know there are film study classes that legitimately are for hardcore movie buff types, but this one was more of a joke filler class at Winslow. The teacher (who was also the AP Physics teacher) just handed out worksheets that he didn't bother grading and passed the fuck out, letting kids make out in the dark or deal trifling bits of marijuana.

Sweet gig aside, this class was open to all grades for some stupid reason.

And sadly for me, Sophia Hess and Emma Barnes shared classes with me. Oddly enough (or perhaps, ironically) they stood out in this class most, not unlike me. Sophia was actually rather pretty, in that sporty, athletic girl way. Emma was like a model from a magazine that just walked off of the pages one day, which probably WAS exactly why she was a model. She was an hourglass with legs. Curvy in the right places, not too thin, not too thick. And a redhead.

Ugh. Athletic girls and redheads. My two biggest weaknesses. Fuck me. Too bad they were both bonafide crazy. And maybe more than a little evil.

They probably chose this class so that they could talk about Shadow Stalker stuff in private as every kid was pretty much doing their own thing. (I remember some post on Spacebattles that confirmed that as canon, the stuff about them talking about Shadow Stalker activities, not that... you know what I mean.).

The problem was that SOMEBODY came walking in with the school martyr today. SOMEBODY that transferred in just about a month after school started, and was, due to Cosmetic Shapeshift, WAY too good looking (apparently) to just suddenly appear out of nowhere.

Especially since I once again, walked to school with Taylor Hebert.

And it was especially annoying for some people that I quickly began to loudly (and clearly) go out of my way to greet Taylor in the hallways and was very friendly to everybody, but making sure to give Taylor priority for everything.

I say it was like an overprotective big brother, but you know how schoolyard rumors are like... certainly there was more than one instance when some pimply girl hissed under her breath about how Taylor was sleeping with me for protection or something equally asinine.

My retorts of, "Well I certainly wouldn't sleep with you." and the like might not have been the smartest of things to say, but hallway cries of "ROASTED!" aside, Taylor looked pleased enough that I was standing up for her.

Or, now that I thought about it, very embarrassed about the implications.

Then, Sophia unceremoniously plopped down in the seat next to me, breaking my thoughts.

"So, PRT stuck you in this shit-hole too?" She grinned, showing off her perfect white teeth, "Shit, I thought they'd stick your ass in Arcadia."

Oh great. They fucking told her my civilian identity. Or she peeked into shit. Either way, not fun for me. What happened to the Unwritten Rules, and keeping IDs a secret, huh?

"Did they tell ALL the Wards who I was? Or are you just special because you were going to the same school, little miss Stalker?"

Her eyes narrowed in the darkness of the classroom, the mutterings of the movie playing in the background. Some old movie from the 70's. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Probably didn't expect to be recognized by voice.

"Well, I guess I made an impression on big ol' All Might, huh?"

I shrugged.

"You and Vista were the only ones I've met so far." I admitted, "And besides, with the way you didn't even blink for the first five minutes of us meeting, I'm pretty sure I made the bigger impression."

Her grin was almost sleazy. But her eyes sparkled with memories.

"Oh, it was decent enough." She smirked, "At least, it was the highlight of the night."

"Oh joy." I drawled, "I'm so proud of myself. So guessing they wanted you to preach about joining the Wards to me?"

"Partly the propaganda. Partly because they want you to stop by the PRT HQ for a couple of questions today. Weird fucking text at lunchtime." She shrugged. "The last part is... personal business."

"Those personal reasons being Taylor, I assume?"

"Hey, you got a brain in there after all, huh?"

I raised a brow.

"Well it's pretty obvious that you and Emma have some beef with my friend. Which is weird because from what I heard from her dad was that Emma was supposed to be her friend." I began straightening my back, slowly beginning to rise above Sophia in height. "But no matter what kind of schoolyard squabble this might be about, I do not take people messing with my friends lightly."

Hess raised her hands in a cool-it manner.

"Hey, hey, I hear you, ok? Shit I could care less about a geek like Hebert. I'll lay off, aight? Now look. It's Emma you'll have to work with. Something about her is convinced that she's gotta do this. Boy, I seen that video of you at the hospital. I don't know why the fuck you got a hard on for helping people to the extent you do, but I can respect it considering the video was almost seven fucking hours of straight footage. But it does confirm you're like Emma and me. You and I, we're survivors. Predators. That I don't doubt an inch. Whatever the reason, Emma seems to doubt herself sometimes. Something about Hebert makes her feel in the back of her pretty little head that it's a link to back when she was weak, when she was prey and THAT'S the problem, ok? Work with me here, 'cuz I fucking don't wanna get Smashed by All Might. Least not smash in that sense."

She flashed her perfect teeth again. Fucking hell. She's crazy.

Stick the dick in crazy. They suck the hardest.

Shut the actual fuck up, Deadpool-persona.

You know you want toooooooooo-

Ignoring the other Joe, I sighed.

This was all over a confidence trip then, all things considered.

God, there was something truly wrong with this world.

"So... why's Emma sitting back so far aside from letting us have a private conversation? Because she's been staring at my abs and ass at every opportunity and it's beginning to weird me out that she also looks scared of me."

Sophie snorted as she held back her laughter.

* * *

END

* * *

AN2: Thus Emma Barnes begins fantasizing of an s&m relationship with SI where she's the bottom. JK not really, just more Cosmetic Shapeshift is a silly power gag.

Also. I don't like Sophie Hess. Straight up. But I intend to at least try an honesty portrayal of her. While the SI is probably gonna act about her bullying others later when she's supposed to be a hero, right now he's focused on fixing Taylor's bullying issues first and foremost. Frankly, I don't think that Sophie gave a shit about Taylor until A) she became a cape and B) because Emma was focused on her. Hell, I don't think she'd have started bullying Taylor (outside of getting a laugh or two by scaring random normies and choosing her on accident) without Emma. Right now she's at a state where Taylor's such a small fish and it's only been a month. There's no point in fighting anybody over that small investment. A year (give or take) is forever for the victim, but just shooting the breeze for the bully.

What I AM concerned about his how much I favor redheads. I can't help myself. It's my kryptonite. Still, before looks it's personality first for me. As long as Emma isn't trying SUPER hard to appeal with her good side I should be ok... probably?...

Fuck. SI needs minimize contact with this girl, I swear. It's Medb all over again (From Fate/GO, I fucking named my CAR after her, something is wrong with me send help REDHEADSSSSS even though Medb in Fate TECHNICALLY has pink hair, she's irish. You KNOW that's supposed to be redhair.)


	11. Faker Inspiring Faker: Gallant Edition

AN: I am glad to have sparked debates about whether or not Sophia and Emma can still be salvaged. Honestly, I still don't know how that's gonna turn out. I suppose we'll see together.

Also three cheers to Spamcore (on SpaceBattles) for making me laugh so hard at work I decided to release this chapter a bit earlier than intended.

It wasn't what I was originally going for, but I feel that this chapter really became mostly about Gallant when I stand back and look at it.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

Emma was NOT happy that I wanted to discuss a situation where she left Taylor alone.

She didn't seem to actually HATE Taylor though. Rather it was that she hated what Taylor represented to her NOW. What do you know? Sophie CAN be a little empathetic.

So, I asked if she would make up with her former best friend if she proved to be strong.

That actually had caught her off guard. And she was distracted, almost as if she was no longer standing in front of me. As if looking at a scene that I could not see.

And she gave me her word.

Odd, but workable.

Now I just had to figure out what Taylor could do to fix this...

Why did I have a sinking feeling that this wasn't going to end well?

Regardless, this was a thought for later. I had somewhere to be.

When the bell rang to end school, I couldn't see Taylor in the throng of teens itching to go home, so I sent her a text and took off jogging. She and her dad didn't have cellphones for some reason when I had first met them. It took convincing, but I talked Danny into getting one for him AND Taylor, on my dime if only so that I can rush over to them in an emergency.

Actually, I think maybe it was the last bit that made him give the ok.

Weird.

Regardless, a few blocks away, I ducked into an alley and got to turn into All Might before leaping into the air.

I didn't whoop like a hooligan. (Not out loud at least. But seriously, flying through the air by your own merit, even if it WAS super strength mixed with vector control shenanigans, was just THE COOLEST thing.)

I caught sight of a floating neon green balloon, so I readjusted my flight path and landed in a burst of cushioning air and made a small (30 feet distance, 20 foot high) hop over to a crying boy and his mother.

"Hey what's wrong kiddo? This yours?"

The waterworks stopped at the sight of the balloon. A quick pat on the head, a thank you from the mom, and a small wave later, I hopped off again.

"Make sure to hold on to it nice and proper this time!"

Then I was lucky enough to be nearby when a honking truck almost ran over a college girl on her phone not paying attention to the noise. I think she was playing Angry Birds. But with chibi-fied Heros launching into Villains. Huh. Actually I need to look on the Bing App Store (fuck that's a MIND TRIP. Pft. Bing.) for that. Actually seems like a decent time waster.

Still, distractions aside, I landed in front of her, flipped the truck up into the air and over the VERY shocked girl, letting the metal vehicle bleed of some of the momentum before jumping after it, getting underneath before I landed, absorbing all the shock with my body. My bones ached and muscles complained about the shock, but it was better than that happening to either driver or pedestrian.

"Is everyone ok?!" I made sure everybody involved could hear me clearly. "I'm going to put the car back down. Please don't push the gas."

The driver was ok (a blue collar worker from Ethiopia with a VERY light accent) and claiming some young E88 punk was messing with his car earlier today. Thought he was only trying to break in, but it might have been an initiation thing that they do to murder a person of color. Cheeky punk slashed the break line open and the car lost the ability to properly slow down.

The girl was more than willing not to make a fuss for a selfie while I flexed my arms for her and autograph her wallet.

Is it weird that I don't understand selfies to this day? I mean regular photos are a thing.

Then there were two purse snatchers that I stopped and tied up for the police before I arrived at PRT HQ. What was wrong with this town? It's been a constant flow of small crimes and other shenanigans for the past few days.

"Excuse me? I believe someone from PRT requested me?" I said to the woman at the front desk, a young late 20s brunette with a ponytail and slender neck. "My name is-"

"All Might! Hi! I- My name is Hillary. I'm a fan! And you do have an appointment, let me just send a message up the ladder."

I nodded, "Not a problem. Thank you for your help, Miss Hillary."

She giggled faintly. Then asked for an autograph.

I signed it, feeling a little awkward inside. This whole celebrity treatment wasn't for me. Although I was happy to make someone's day, I suppose I'd never considered that somebody would, you know, LOOK UP TO ME like that. Even though I was aiming to live up to my namesake and be a Symbol of Peace, I guess I didn't think about the fame that would come with it.

I'm just... me. Normal everyday Joe. Or was... normal could no longer describe what I had become and... that was kind of sad when I thought about it like that.

An elevator opened in the lobby and metallic footsteps clunked on the ground.

"All Might. I am Gallant. Follow me."

Dude didn't even wait for a response before turning and walking back.

Come on dude, I ain't making moves on your girl. Fuck you jumping to conclusions for? Shit, what you don't have any female friends?

I kept the grumbling to myself as I walked to the elevator.

Once I was there I tried being friendly again.

"Hey, didn't get a chance to in the lobby but," I held my hand out, "I'm All Might. Nice to meet you."

The metal helmet of his reminded me of a sci-fi version of a visor, the slit that was supposed to be for his vision was glowing a soft neon blue making me think of Iron Man. Power armor was fucking cool as shit.

"...Gallant. Member of the Wards. Nice to meet you."

See? There. We can get along. It's a misunderstanding from your end anyways. Sooner we get this shit behind us, the better.

 _But think of the NTR memes we could mak-_

Shut up, that's shit fetish and you know it.

 _Weird that some of the best hentai art is FOR NTR though_.

Seriously, right? And shut up if you're not gonna say anything positive or important!

"So what's it like, being a Ward?"

Gallant seemed to ponder it before he answered.

"It's complicated. Less training than we'd like and more publicity stunts than we're comfortable with sometimes. Patrols are ok, but we don't usually get to do much."

I nodded, "Sounds rough. At least you get to be around peers though. That's good. They should probably let you do more on patrols though. Especially with the small stuff. Good training on the field while limiting the damage and dangers. Would certainly help dealing with a panic situation."

Gallant shook his head.

"I suggested that once. The higher ups denied it. Youth Guard would have a fit."

"Youth what?"

Gallant's armor shifted as he turned to me.

"How do you not know what the Youth Guard is?"

His plate mail had more of that soft neon blue underglow.

Again. So fucking cool, I'm jealous!

"Did they not tell you? I'm a Case 53."

That took him by surprise as he jerked his face up as if staring me in the eyes.

"What?"

"I look like a normal human on the outside, sure, but inside I look like a Rue-Goldberg machine. Or more accurately my organ systems look totally different." I shrugged. "Hell my heart's like a second brain."

"Oh... uh. I'm sorry to hear that."

I shrugged.

"I've had a little time to come to terms with it. Plus there's more important things worth my time." I said as the elevator doors open up. I stepped out to the other side. "Like saving people."

I waited a few seconds as Gallant followed me out. He began quietly leading the way into the maze of corridors with practiced ease (or maybe a map in his visor) before stopping.

I moved to open the door only to be stopped by Gallant's hand on my forearm.

"...You do know why they're asking for you, right?" He said, a hint of guilt laced his voice, "You know that they... they're not trying to help. Not this time."

"...Yes. Yes I do."

"Then why..."

"Because I do not intend to let my conscience die. Because my convictions exceed my fears. Because I can no longer compromise for the things I truly believe in. Because what I desire is to bring hope. To the weak. To the unbelieving. To the every-man. To the strong and the powerful. Because things can't go on like this. So I will declare that hope is here. That it is worth believing from every perspective. _For I am here._ Because if nobody else would, I will fight. Because with great power comes great responsibilities and I have not forgotten my responsibility to protect those who have truly lost their voices. _Because it is not wrong to save people_."

Because I am a weeb with power and a cause. With chuuni dreams and mottos that I always wished I could follow but was powerless to do so.

Because now... now I had a _chance_.

"And because if my arms cannot protect what they can reach... what were they good for in the first place?"

Even though I had my doubts, I just had to keep moving forwards. And pray. Pray that I could be enough.

I entered the room and closed the door behind me, leaving Gallant silently on the other side.

* * *

POV: Gallant

When I saw the picture, Victoria and I were at a low point in our relationship. Again. We're young and willful... and are also teens with superpowers. I donno, take your pick.

I knew that it probably not what it _looked_ like, but there was a photo of Vicky laughing that just... got to me. It was one of her really _genuine_ laughs where she really shone. Full dimples, beautiful smile... I love her, you know.

That's probably why I... overreacted.

Technically, I wasn't in the wrong. Reporting stuff like this was part of the job. Stuff in the contract that you sign when you join the PRT. Squealer was a Villain. You report that stuff.

There must be law. There must be order. Or the world falls apart.

These are words my father passed down to me.

It made sense, I guess. And he's my dad. Of course I trust in what he's teaching me.

That's why when I confronted Vicky about the photos and she told me about that All Might guy looking for a lawyer for Squealer, I didn't even think.

I made a phone call. That was my job. That's what I was supposed to do by law.

But Vicky overheard, I guess.

And... god... She had never looked so... disappointed in me. Or upset. Like I had betrayed her trust.

Why?

Why?!

She JUST MET THIS GUY ONE TIME!

I boiled over inside. Refused to apologize. She stomped off.

Whatever. We both need to cool off. Then she'll come back. We can talk it out once we both got our heads clear.

And usually that was me.

But she came back first.

She pulled me away from everyone to a private place. I was both confused and oddly excited. I guess my hormones were still worked up from my temper. I was stupid.

It was weird.

She slapped me across the cheek, then BIT me IN THE ARM. What was that even about?!

Because she began DIGGING into me.

I guess I just always bought into the fact that Squealer was labeled a villain.

That All Might guy didn't.

He had been gathering evidence and information proving that she had been drugged and pressed into service for the Merchants. Her parents (father dead from drug overdose) had sold her off for more drugs and had ADMITTED to it. Accounts of the terrible things that had happened to her under her shitty parents and the even shittier things that had happened to her when she became a part of the Merchants against her will.

Apparently All Might had looked into some REALLY good detectives and gathered a LOT of photographic and witness evidence that nobody would have thought existed.

An innocent person forced into a bad place with nobody to help her.

"What if that was me?!" Vicky had said.

And the rest of it was a blur.

I hadn't ever looked at things aside from Hero versus Villains. The world was supposed to be simple like that.

I couldn't be near her right now. _**What if it had been her?**_ I told the office I was sick and left early, heading for PRT HQ.

And the feeling like a rock had dropped into my stomach felt heavier.

I don't think I've ever been more glad that I couldn't see her emotions. To see EXACTLY how much I had disappointed her.

I sat in my suit, glad for the familiar faint hum of the power armor.

Now I was Gallant. Now I was strong. A hero.

It wasn't long before I was given an alert by the PRT through the suit's HUD.

All Might had entered the building.

I sighed, forgetting that when I made the call, _I_ had been the one to ask if I could bring him up. When I made the call, I had wanted to see... I don't know. Something. Anything to assure myself that he was someone I could dislike? I don't know anymore.

An endless sea of stars, shining brighter than anyone that I had ever laid eyes on. Like a million galaxies burning, **burning into a single flame** that was contained by... _what could contain that?_ It was **something that couldn't exist**. _Yet it did._ It burned **brighter** than a _million_ _**SUNS BEYOND EVEN-**_

I closed my eyes and shuttered as I breathed. I was tongue tied. Stupefied.

I was only supposed to be able to see a person's emotional state... so why was it that when I saw him...

He was flame. And he was mighty, but did not hold himself above me. He doubted himself, but chose to smile in the face of his own fears. He did not wish to offend me, did not wish to cause waves. But his presence alone was like a black hole that shined with stars enough to light all of mankind. Existing without presence. Presence beyond my ability to sense? I couldn't comprehend it.

That fire existed beyond a realm that I could comprehend.

And it was like the vial formula within me burned.

What was this? Why did I yearn to understand this?

"...Gallant. Member of the Wards. Follow me." I said before turning around and walking back to the elevator.

I shivered.

It was like I had seen the light for the first time. Like a deaf man hearing Mozart. The blind seeing Picasso. Nothing made sense.

But he was bigger than me. Bigger than life.

And he made small talk to me. Like it was normal. Like he wasn't an infinity of exploding, screaming systems of stars in perpetual rebirth.

I HAD PISSED THIS GUY OFF?!

I was fucked. So fucked.

But...

"How do you not know what the Youth Guard is?"

He still baffled me.

"Did they not tell you? I'm a Case 53."

WHAT. That didn't make any sense.

"What?"

He looked like the pinnacle of human fitness. Was it the physics defying V for Victory hair? Was THAT the Case 53 part aside from the eyes? I thought the eyes were just because of his powers.

"I look like a normal human on the outside, sure, but inside I look like a Rue-Goldberg machine. Or more accurately my organ systems look totally different." He shrugged. "Hell my heart's like a second brain."

"Oh... uh. I'm sorry to hear that." Was that why he could burn so bright? Heart like a second brain?...

The origin of the flame that was the solution to... solution to what? Like there's something my instincts are screaming, but I can't make sense of the noise.

"I've had a little time to come to terms with it. Plus there's more important things worth my time." He said as the elevator doors opened up and stepped out to the other side. "Like saving people."

I took a breath, barely daring to breath. As if the flame would suck the oxygen from my lungs. Then I walked forwards and past him. I dared not look straight at him. Like Icarus with wings of wax, rising towards the sun.

In no time at all, we had arrived.

He moved to open the door... and my body moved without thinking. Because I had something to get off my chest.

"...You do know why they're asking for you, right?" I asked. I was guilty. I was wrong. "You know that they... they're not trying to help. Not this time."

"...Yes. Yes I do."

"Then why..."

"Because I do not intend to let my conscience die. Because my convictions exceed my fears. Because I can no longer compromise for the things I truly believe in. Because what I desire is to bring hope. To the weak. To the unbelieving. To the every-man. To the strong and the powerful. Because things can't go on like this. So I will declare that hope is here. That it is worth believing from every perspective. _For I am here._ Because if nobody else would, I will fight. Because with great power comes great responsibilities and I have not forgotten my responsibility to protect those who have truly lost their voices. _Because it is not wrong to save people_."

...I felt so fake. Begging my dad to buy me my powers. Going around pretending. Merely _playing_ at being a hero...

"And because if my arms cannot protect what they can reach... what were they good for in the first place?"

I watched silently as he entered the room.

Power flooded me. As if with those words he left a piece of his flame behind in me.

I had duties to rethink. A girl I _loved_ to apologize to. And.. a new example that I had to follow.

Because even if I was just a fake. Even if it was merely a beautiful, fragile lie...

I, too, wished to be a Hero.

* * *

I bit back the urge to recreate the I am Walking Through The Door Like A Normal Person scene.

There was Armsmaster, Miss Militia, even the power couple of Assault and Battery. All in uniform and looking impressive as all hell.

I politely pretended not to notice the fact that Armsmaster had a halabard in the room.

But seriously, Wildbow had to have been high when he made that couple's Cape Names.

I mean come on. Assault and Battery was a name TOTALLY made for a villain couple. Or maybe that was the point. The irony.

Assault was the first to speak, approaching with a quip, friendly as he stretched out a hand to shake.

"Hey, if it isn't Mr. All Mighty! Put her there! When can we expect the third movie with God Freeman?"

I shook his hand with a grin.

"Ah, delayed from budget cuts, you know how Hollywood is."

"Man that sucks. Hollywood is cutthroat. Freedman is awesome though." Assault's grin grew bigger as he kept speaking, "Good God, it is good to meet a fellow C-Rate movie lover. You should join us just so that I can host movie nights using bonding moments as an excuse. You know we have a private theater that nobody uses? It's actually crazy."

I nodded sagely.

"Savages, the lot of them."

"Ahem." Armsmaster coughed.

Assault and I turned to him simultaneously.

"Yeah?" We asked in sync.

Battery buried her face in her hands.

"Oh no. The world has two of them."

"Hey!" Assault complained, "We resent that." I finished.

Battery threw her hands in the air.

I couldn't keep a straight face and cracked up alongside Assault.

Miss Militia chuckled before speaking, "Alright, that's enough for now. Let's all be mature and deal with the situation at hand."

She gestured to the table and chairs by us and we all took a seat.

We all sat down and Armsmaster in his typical tunnel vision fashion cut right to the point.

"We want you to turn Squealer in to the proper authorities."

Assault facepalmed loudly, getting an annoyed growl from Armsmaster.

"Dude. Ease IN to a conversation." He groaned at his workmate. "I feel like I'm watching a gorilla walk face first into a mirror and howling at it."

"Putting all poor jokes aside..." Battery sighed, "You really should let US handle Squealer. This kind of stuff should be left to the professionals."

Yeah, professional cops and robbers. Except that there's LARGE amounts of money involved. Is this a pro league? ESports? Or just physical sports that isn't broadcasted properly for the entertainment value it really had? Professional heroes of Worm was a joke onto itself.

At least MHA had brought an actual time of real relative peace. Even if it was only for a while.

"Oh, then there should be no problems." I said.

All four other heroes in the room froze. Baffled.

Fucking hilarious.

"...What do you mean?" Miss Militia asked curiously.

I pulled out a USB from my belt (Pocket Room, but 'pulling' things from my 'belt buckle' all the time was funny as hell to me) and asked, "Is it ok for me to, like, borrow a laptop and projector?"

Like I brought a power point for a fucking science fair.

While the lawyer I was working with, Theodore Rookwood, had gotten everything ready to dominate Squealer's court case tomorrow, today. However, MOST of the critical intel we had already finished putting together yesterday.

Man knew some fucking GREAT detectives. One of them was a Thinker Rouge too.

Also, I don't think Sherrel's mother understood that her being so free with the evidence for some cash was also going to probably get her jailed.

Honestly, she might have been the most helpful.

So I revealed everything I had like I was an over achieving nerd giving a presentation that determined his final grade of the year.

"...Fuck." Assault eloquently sighed, "K, I'm out. I ain't doin' this."

He began muttering about how this city ruined innocent people, a frown on his face.

Oh, right. Assault was MadCap or something like that and was breaking people out of jail when he felt they were being imprisoned wrongly or something. Hey, already 1 out of 4! Good for me.

Armsmaster's lips were puckered as if he had eaten something sour. Probably had come to the conclusion that it would take too long to come in with enough evidence to fight my bid on clearing Sherrel's name. Or maybe he was wondering exactly how much time he'd need to fight it.

It was clear he wanted this to become a PRT victory somehow.

"...All Might. This was very impressive. And it must have been very expensive..." Miss Militia spoke carefully, chewing on her words. "Still, it might be best if you let the official authorities handle this."

I shrugged.

"Kind of too late for that. Paperwork's already been approved and the court case has been scheduled."

"What?" Armsmaster's head turned so fast that I half expected it to go flying.

"Yeah. The lawyer that's helping me out pulled a few strings. It'll be a closed court case as per the norm with the sensitivity that is cape civilian identities. A jury is ready and the judge opened his schedule to fit the case in. We have all the witnesses we need so we'll win, so no worries about that." I chirped cheerily with a true Kakashi style eye smile.

I saw Assault begin to make a nod of approval before my eyes closed. Then heard him 'ow' as his wife slapped the back of his head.

"I... when is the court case?" I can HEAR you grit your teeth Armsmaster. Chill fam.

"Tomorrow." I chirped again.

Dude, your poor teeth, nigga chill.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: Armsmaster go see a dentist man.

Speaking of Dental work.

I have a Pat reon. Help pay for my teeth.


	12. The Dilemma of Having Free'd Deadpool

AN: I just ask you all to read the following Author's note because I feel that APPARENTLY it needs being said.

Sexual content involving minors… as far as I had personally realized before the temporary shutdown, there's been nothing aside from a few jokes. Hell my character has pointed out MULTIPLE times that he won't do anything with the girls in the story thus far because (aside from Sherrel/Squealer/Rider who actually is an adult) they're ALL YOUNGER than him mentally.

You look at people, physical features are just what you see first. Hell I've brain bleached myself plenty when I see a cute girl and go damn. Then overhear that she's way younger than expected and go DAMN I have to get the ice pick again.

A reader pointed out to me that me describing the fact that Shadow Stalker had curves was awkward. I didn't realize that because I was of the opinion that beauty does, unfortunately, NOT give a shit about age. (And by that I do NOT mean SI found SS attractive on a sexual level because NOT FUCKING EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SEX FUCK OR that I have an interest in people not of legal age, because this apparently needs to be stated over and over and isn't obvious from context alone, as the thread being closed has proved). I usually described features about currently relevant for plot female characters because that made them pop off the page more because whether we all care to admit it or not, attractiveness is a gateway to help a reader engage in a character and take their words just a bit more seriously for better or for worse. (Because appearance means a lot. Even if its descriptions on a page. That's the sad truth of life. It's HUMAN NATURE) Like a literary gateway tool.

I KNEW that it was a bit awkward and that's why I explained MULTIPLE times that my character had a problem with the fact that he was mentally older. No thank you. Even if they're attractive. Fuck, that's why I went out of my way to up the banter for the WHOLE chapter with Glory Girl (the person that the whole fandom seemed to have the BIGGEST hard on for aside from Tattletale), and she wasn't objectified ONCE aside from saying that, yeah, she could probably be a shampoo model.

I COULD have talked about how she wore a skirt while flying and had an easy joke there. Didn't take it. I COULD have made an easy blonde joke because she's blonde. Didn't take it. I made our CONVERSATION the focus and made THAT be what made her shine. CHARACTERIZATION AND PERSONALITY! And that's a bit possible because I DO like Glory Girl as a character. I DON'T (and let's me honesty, 99% of the community doesn't either) really give a rat's ass about Sophie aside from the fact that she's a flat fucking character which means *GASP* I can flesh her out and use her for the story and MAKE an interesting character out of her! Or turn her into an even more hatable bitch so we can all laugh as she burns! IDK how her plotline is gonna go, but the POINT was I HAD OPTIONS and I wanted to maximize that. Ergo the Literary Gateway Crutch of describing her features and focusing on what is attractive and state pretty much that she was attractive (And so does the wiki btw). Because it's a VERY subtle psychological thing that took two sentences and was easy and DIDN'T FUCKING TAKE UP HUGE CHUNKS OF STORY to make her a character people were just a little more ok reading about.

Because I just didn't want to make a WHOLE fucking CHAPTER on this bitch right now, or rather really couldn't because she's a 2D as hell character right now and there's just VERY little to go off of.

Also, because part of it was the intent from the beginning, the closest I've gone to alluding any possible relationship was for the sake of poking fun at the harem protagonist model. (Also the joke about Deadpool never getting laid even though he technically does somehow in the comics) I never actively pushed shipping points with anybody intentionally (or with realizing sans the Cosmetic Shapeshift is a silly meme, lets make it have story impact on people because it's useless but it has to be important because SI is now a partial entity if I want ANY possibility of All Might being symbol because APPEARANCES MATTER), it was just the commentators from the beginning. How can I control what people want to think? But people want to ship what they want to ship regardless of the fact that I pointed out the SI wasn't thinking of anyone that way (although they should have every freedom to cuz 2nd amendment), even though it was fact that the SI never even CONSIDERED it a possibility at the moment.

Look, if I have to explain every single joke at every single moment, nothing's getting done, and I feel like garbage because instead of me happily having finished the next chapter, some frustrated part of me is still a bit pissed that it got shut down and I LOST 80% OF THE NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING WRITING IT ON SPACEBATTLES AND SAVING IT IN DRAFTS BUT I WAS TRYING TO RESPOND TO SOMETHING NOT REALIZING THE THREAD GOT LOCKED AND SOMEHOW IT GOT FUCKING LOST SO RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND IT WAS ALMOST DONE and then I was rewriting it something FRUSTRATINGLY shallow and subpar began forming because I was frustrated as all shit and... sigh. I know yes, this was partly my fault in the end, but when I saw 8 couldn't comment on shit and refereshed the page, THERE WENT THE HOUSE JIMMY!

FUCK, I feel like my mood and creative juices got spoiled by some dumb shit. All over ONE bit of context I didn't catch while editing.

If my character ACTIVELY flirted with people (aside from the one scene where Shadow Stalker first comes up, which let me AGAIN clarify because APPARENTLY CONTEXT CLUES ARENT A THING wasn't even an attempt, but a show of confidence to not be embarrassed at the fact SI was almost naked) then I could understand.

Hell, I recall that I made sure to jokingly objectify SI THE ABSOLUTE MOST for the sake of equal opportunity comedy (AND BECAUSE COSMETIC SHAPESHIFT IS USELESS MEME). "Poseidon Stripper" rings some bells, right? The whole sexualization of ANYONE was either used as a description OR as a joke/gag FROM THE BEGINNING BECAUSE THE FOCUS OF THE STORY WAS MOSTLY COMEDY.

And the funny part? My thread got shut down by a throwaway line that was just a (intended to be no harm fun) twist on the Don't Stick Your Dick In Crazy meme. I can see WHY it was taken so seriously (because although I didn't intend for it, just thinking of it as a throwback joke, it does admittedly, look as if DP was egging on SI to sleep with a minor) only because there is no way that Deadpool wouldn't follow (obviously) with the annoying You Know You Want To shtick (which lets be real, was the REAL problem because once again, poor context) that all of our friends (we ALL have that ONE fucking asshole friend lets be real) do. I didn't intend for it to be taken as sexualization of a minor. It was supposed to be a joke, but I can see why it might look like a problem to the mods.

Deadpool humor, will, unfortunately, toe lines sometimes, and I apologize. I'll try to be a little more self-censoring and mindful. Next time, I'd really just like a message asking me that something was a bit too far first. All I ask, because EVERYONE has a differing sense of humor vs interpretation.

Now hopefully I can somehow fix this chapter and MAKE IT NOT FEEL LIKE AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING DUMPSTERFIRE BECAUSE I AM HUMAN AND FEEL JUSTIFIED IN MY ANGER BECAUSE IT WAS JUST SLIGHTLY POOR WORD CHOICE ONE FUCKING TIME AND AS FAR AS I CAN TELL I WASN'T WARNED ABOUT SHIT BEFORE THE THREAD LOCKED UP AND LOST ALL MY FUCKING WORK

This is gonna have me in a bender all fucking month. This on top of work stress my diet and workout regiment trying to lose weight Im scared im gonna fucking stab somebody (not literally)

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

Sherrel's case couldn't have gone smoother if it had been covered in butter and bacon grease.

I had, after much teeth grinding from Armsmaster (I really hope the guy had good dental), and much empathy from Assault and Miss Militia (Surprisingly? Not surprisingly?), come to an agreement.

Firstly, I'd do healing for a few people of their choice, no charge, no questions. I wanted to ask why no questions but decided I probably didn't want the answer to that anyways.

Secondly, PRT could claim the main glory for "Freeing an innocent young women from the clutches of evil!" and "Reforming Villains to be a productive member of today's society!" because that was EXACTLY what Rookwood and I were planning on spinning this story as. We had Merchants still in custody and had verbals from them for leniency that they had indeed drugged up Squealer to high heaven for most of her tinkering and whenever they needed her to run distraction/destruction. God I wanted to punch their rotten fucking teeth down their throats...

Conveniently for the PRT, I didn't care about the glory of that shit at all. Hell, they could have the PR for turning a Villain from the path of evil and all that good shit all day.

Trading that for the fact that Sherrel was free to do as she wanted? To give her the kind of freedom that she had NEVER had?

That was fucking priceless as far as I was concerned. Top that Mastercard.

Well, I also suppose that the sample blueprints for Sherrel's ideas for improving the PRT vehicles and the promise that we'd give them some tune ups on the house was a big incentive too all things considered. Also the fact that Rookwood used up pretty much EVERY single favor that had EVER been owed to him to get this all ready in less than a week really forcing their hand in that regards as well.

Dude really loved his son and really was THAT grateful that I could give him his legs back. I appreciated the feelings and motions, but I just felt a bit bad in the end about it. Hell, I would have healed young Anthony even if he hadn't cashed in favors like they were going out of style. Still, I can't help but some part of me acknowledge that's what happens when you give a man his son's greatest dream back. (Plus the kid was actually a fucking little boss when it came to soccer. MVP in his whatever the name of his little soccer league was called. I kind of don't recall that over the mind numbing endless legal jargon I had to memorize in the past few days.)

I suppose it was for the best that it was earlier than later though. Otherwise the PRT would have had enough heads up and had enough PR and lawful pull that they'd have properly fought for her imprisonment in court and that wasn't what I wanted at all if I couldn't work something behind closed doors with them like I was doing now.

Honestly, I kind of found myself a little relieved that they found out about the case the day before the official court hearing. I was kind of hoping that the immediateness of the court case would force their hand just enough that they'd be willing to work with me and look at things from my perspective. Because the alternative was forcing the PRT looking like fools for pursuing an 'innocent woman' as if she was a villain, which totally would have been SUPER bad for their image for a while and be HUGE in turning them hostile against me and my own.

I know that Piggot apparently is hated for some reason that I'm not aware of.

And I did NOT want to do publicity/PR battles against a fucking government entity. They have ALL THE FUNDING.

You know when things get political, what wins 60% of the battle? Funding. It's easy power without doing anything because BOOP I hit a button and I'm richer than you AND I've already done half the battle. The rest of the time I can just blab about while you're spending time getting things in order.

The way I figured it, that's just social suicide. Even for a healing cape. Especially for one as new as me even though Rookwood kept assuring me that I could just move and then it would become my victory while Sherrel could get a fresh start in another city. Problem was that while I was lucky because my value had SKYROCKETED thanks to Surgery, I couldn't move from Brockton Bay. Too many things were going to happen and I NEEDED to be here.

Still, it seemed that the PRT were willing to be more hands off with me if it ensured that I viewed them in a good light and owed them favors.

And right now I was totally ok with that.

That was why, as the case ended, I was able to just sit there and silently pat Sherrel's back as she cried into my suit jacket, ruining it with mascara. And neither of us cared about that suit at all.

Because she was free.

We celebrated with a pizza and a movie (Sherrel's choice, oddly enough) and I introduced her to the Heberts as her new Cape Identity of Rider. When learning that the Heberts had my trust, she gave them her civilian identity on her own (I hadn't planned for this at all) and invited them to join us for said pizza and movie.

It was a nice, relaxing night as we nibbled on some sort of local specialty combo and watched some light hearted comedy that didn't exist in my original world. Some movie about a world underneath the surface of our own featuring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Danny didn't get some of the jokes, but it had the same general vibe as Paul and so it was fun.

The following day was school as usual. But the bullying had stopped for Taylor and I couldn't find myself able to bring up the thing about Emma. Like... there was something that itched at me the wrong way. I did tell her that Emma stopping was temporary though and I wanted to talk to her about a possible solution after school. She gave me a smile somewhere between happy and trusting. And I wasn't sure why I felt conflicted.

I was probably forgetting something. Hopefully I would recall it after a little time.

While we had plans for Rider's eventual appearance on the cape scene, right now we just moved forward with the first step of her reintegration to society.

The immense amount of free PR that we essentially just GAVE to the PRT was returned by a surprisingly generous gift from Dragon (delivered by the biggest drone I have ever seen), who obviously was trying to incentive us to work more with the Protectorate. And to help keep up our promise to them about upgraded tinker vehicles.

It was pretty good incentive too.

Something that she called an Auto-Forge. A beautiful piece of tinker-tech that acted as a self-sustaining automated forge that might as well have been the tinker equivalent to a heavy-duty industrial 3D printer for metal. It was easy to upload schematics and designs into and didn't need a network connection and was incapable of it (as far as we could tell) so we didn't have to fear it trying to be some big GPS bomb for our secret base.

Well, once I gained Wavelength as a Tinker Power, I'd make my own version of the Auto-Forge that would be safe for the base so whatever.

Should I make an Iron Man persona? Gallant's power armor was too reminiscent of good ol' Marvel movies for me and I was feeling nostalgic.

Hmm. Food for thought.

Still, we kept it in a separate location just for security reasons. A warehouse I was renting out under the name of Wade Wilson (Deadpool, obviously) because I remembered very vaguely something about Dragon having unmasked Taylor in canon when she had been Skitter. I don't know if it was her, or somebody forcing her to do it, but it was enough to know that I couldn't trust her 100% as of now. If there was even a 1% chance that the Auto-Forge had some sort of GPS mechanic, it couldn't be risked.

Thank god me meeting Gallant, Assault and Battery (who just looked uncomfortable as more and more time passed and had to leave mid-discussion as she claimed she wasn't feeling well), and re-basking in Miss Militia (and her smokey smooth as hell voice, she still gave me fucking chills dude) I had arrived a respectable 12 Fragments (having already had 4 from my lunch with Glory Girl). Yeah. Fucking amazing. 7 Fragments instantly went into unleashing Schrodinger's 2nd Trigger and I could finally be free of Deadpool's inappropriate comments...

Or so I had hoped.

Turned out while now we could PHYSICALLY be separate, we were connected mentally and were always vaguely aware of what each other was doing, seeing, and etc. Trippy, but it wasn't a problem after we got a little used to it. Unless it was really important that we had to show each other what was going on, it would merely be like a small hum in the back of my head. In the meantime Deadpool was in charge of transporting all the things the Auto-Forge created back to base. Still, he couldn't complain. I did swear to buy us Blink once we had another 2 Fragments to work with.

And because Sherrel had already seen both costumes and because I had her absolute loyalty, I went ahead and showed her that I could now separate into Deadpool AND All Might for future convenience. And to prevent misconceptions.

But she didn't question that I could suddenly do things that I couldn't before for some reason and I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

Also, she liked Deadpool's ADHD-like nature and somewhat violent humor for some reason. I... suppose(?) that her sense humor certainly did end up being flavored by her time with the Merchants. Not that Deadpool wasn't funny (He insisted to being called Wade now that he was physically free of me) but he was the part of me that I rejected. We were sure to piss each other off every once in a while.

We already had our first argument over his first job as a 'Merc' and the way he ate pizza. Dude rolls slices up like burritos. The fuck is wrong with him? At that point just get a calzone like a normal human being.

Sherrel had laughed as she smiled at us arguing. I didn't understand why she was so happy, but apparently it was something about how she was happy that I could also have flaws.

Neither of Me understood what THAT was about.

Still, now I was with Taylor and Sherrel at the abandoned airport runway on the edge of town as All Might. The reason? Teaching Taylor how to drive because Danny was busy.

The real reason?

Just letting Taylor offload some stress by handing over the reigns of the 700 Horsepower PRT Enhanced Armored Response Vehicle Mark R1... and to learn how to drive in a safe environment by the fact that the Tinker vehicle had so many safeties built in that we were more likely to be hit by thunder then get in an accident. Ever.

And because the thing could pretty much turn on a dime and was fun as hell to drive.

Meanwhile Deadpool was off doing his first job as the fabled MERC WITH A MOUTH... transporting the finished parts from the Auto-Forge to the Secret Base.

"Join me and begin your murder-death-kill merc' lifestyle shenanigans they said. I'll become the symbol of peace and HAM myself and my chuuni ideals all across America and you'll have a high paying position under me and get a cool as shit belt that'll mask the fact that you'll be able to you teleport they said. So why am I being delegated to being the fucking PACK MONKEY!" I, the mighty and VERY handsome Deadpool, growled to myself as I headed over to one of the secret tunnel entrances. "...At least a shipment of weapons FINALLY came in for me. Ah. Feels good having katanas on my back and guns galore in my Pocket Room. Even if it's basic mook level equipment!"

I sniffed.

"It's almost enough to make a grown man cry." I continued aloud, walking down the street, ignoring the people staring at me, "Sure, they're all basic bitch white normal rating weapons that might as well be junk once the green uncommons and the blue rares begin pouring in, but THEY'RE MY WHITE RARITY JUNK WEAPONS DAMMIT!"

That was when I, your under-geared friendly Level 100 Merc With A Mouth, ducked as a brick shot through where my head was and shattered against the concrete sidewalk.

"Hey asshole! I've been looking for you!"

"...What is it with super powered little girls seeming to just appearing around me in Brockton Bay? Am I candy in a panel van? Is that what this is? Bully material for SB Mods?"

I flipped sideways out of the way like a plane performing an aileron roll. Not a barrel roll. Two separate things. And as I did so, three more bricks shattered.

"No! Not Bricky!" I cried collapsing to my knees. I grasped the sides of my head before extending them in shock at the scattered remains of Bricky "AND HIS FAMILY! His beloved wife and child! You monster!"

A girl floated in the air, standing on a giant cube of bricks, no mortar holding them together and ALSO floating. Two more large cubes of bricks of similar size floated around her like a giant orbiting fat guys around an all you can eat buffet. Or two sweaty neck beards around a young white girl dressed like her dad was a wizard from DnD 2nd Edition that died in a Holy Grail War and decided to take his oversized clothes and use it as her outfit.

Which is to say she's dressed like a wizard from-

"SHUT UP, YOU THINK OUT LOUD!"

A flurry of bricks split off from her twin protectors and launched at me as she screamed with indignation, red and black rune inscribed robes fluttering like a terribly PG anime majou shoujo.

"Skeet shooting!~" I trilled, whipping out dual magnums and rapidly shooting down said flying bricks. "Uh, oh, thirteen. Miscounted that."

Empty guns flew up and disappeared into Pocket Room as I whipped out a sledge hammer.

"Deadpool up to the bat... HE SWINGS!"

Red rock scattered like a shrapnel bomb as the metal head struck it dead on.

"AND IT'S OUT OF THE PARK! Wade Wilson from Regina, Canada takes the game winning-"

I dropped the sledge hammer and ran as another angry rain of bricks rained down.

"Did your mother ever tell you that interrupting somebody talking is rude?"

"Did your mother ever tell you to die?" She snarked back, her over-sized robes bristling in unbridled anger.

"Only every day of my life." I said with a voice of absolute seriousness as I slowly whipped out a shotgun (giving her just enough reaction time to defend herself) before I began blasting.

I'd only began pulling the trigger after I was convinced that she had made enough of a wall to deal with the first shot of my Benelli M3 as I began unloading it on her.

...With bullets, not sex you dirty minded virgin!

"Hey!" **BLAM** I yelled between shots, "Why." **BLAM** "Are." **BLAM** "We." **BLAM** "Fighting." **BLAM** "By the way?!" **BLAM**

"You've been putting our brothers in the hospital!" She hissed as she began re-allotting the remaining bricks around her back into that surprisingly tactical three group of brick-clouds formation. "So I'm gonna put you in the DIRT!"

"OOOH LOOK~! I'm a teenage girl~ I'm racist because my parents were horrible people and beat me into the terrible person I am~ I can't form my own opinion, but I pretend to understand big words like cultural genocide to fit in~" I vaulted over another volley of bricks before ducking into an alley, "I also don't understand that our big ol' windmill of a swastika that is the SYMBOL of our WHITE SUPERIORITY was from FUCKING INDIA!"

I hardcore-parkour-ed over a closed (thank god) dumpster as another trio of bricks slammed into the dirty metal as there was a frustrated high pitched scream of indignation.

"You really should open a few books and go to school like a _GOOD_ little girl!" I crowed, "That way you'll learn that your whole Nazi culture was so original that they ripped off everybody else! Even the Americans that WERE THE REASON THEY LOST THE WAR!"

A deagle blast apart another slew of bricks as impotent rage built up in poor little Rune.

"You know that repeating the exact same thing again and again and expecting a different result is the _definition_ of insanity?" I asked performing an impossible movie style quick reload by ejecting my magazine, spawning a full one with Pocket Room, and swinging the unloaded deagle onto it.

The magazine clicked into place and I cocked the gun back to load the first round into the chamber.

"You! Shut up while I try to kill you!"

Three more bricks.

"Why don't you, I donno, maybe STOP TRYING TO KILL ME." I yelled back, firing back three more shots before summoning a second deagle in my other hand.

"How about no?"

All of her bricks that weren't supporting her body weight began readying themselves like THE GATE OF FUCKING BRICK-BILON.

I shrugged. "Sounds fair."

I had bought enough time to buy Blink. And as far as I could tell though Power Eyes and Power Hub, her [ **Spiritually Imprinted Multifocal Telekinetic Manipulation** ] was still going to be worth 1 more Fragment after.

 _So buy Blink for me already! I kind of fucking need it!_

Are you fighting RUNE over there?! Why are you fighting Rune?! You're just supposed to-

 _Oh, I don't know because she attacked me and I've been stalling so that NOW I HAVE ENOUGH FOR BLINK AND SHE'S STILL TRYING TO DEBRAIN ME WITH ENOUGH BRICKS RECREATE THE TWIN FUCKING TOWERS SO HURRY YOUR SHIT!_

Fucking... ok, hold on one second.

Seven fragments converged into a flicker of shining flame that rhythmically fluttered out of existence and then fluttered into existence somewhere else in my sea of Negentropic flames.

There. Go have fun Wade, just don't kill her, please. She's probably a product of-

 _Yeah yeah. It's more fun just fucking up her whole world view by breaking down the fact that the entirety of her beloved Nazi party was built up from taking ideas and cultural items from other cultures anyways. That and her entire Caucasian identity. Hooray for systematic psychological and factual breakdown of the entirety of her way of life! I'm gonna teach her some shit today! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER IT WON'T BE SEXUAL! Huh that's new._

...Whu... what? Wait! Wade! Dude, don't go too far with- DEADPOOL FUCKING COME BACK HERE MENTALLY!

"Joe? Are you ok? You look distracted." Taylor asked as she slowed down the giant tinker vehicle. "You're making a weird face. You didn't even get mad when Rider was trying to teach me how to do drift for the past few minutes."

"Ah... well... I know how I told you I'm making mow own team, right? Currently, it's me and Rider, but I hired a guy to do some heavy labor for us. He's a... odd guy. And I have the distinct feeling that he might be doing something stupid right now..."

Rider giggled a little.

"Why? What could he be doing?" Taylor asked with a laugh, flooring the gas giggling with childish glee.

I sighed.

"That's just another way of saying what could go wrong..."

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: And Rune was never the same again.

But for real. Writing is supposed to be stress relief for me, not something stressful.

Fuck me man

Also I has Pat reon and am too lazy to link it proper. Thanks to Kenneth Dueck for joining me.


	13. Karma is a FAST Fucking Whore

AN: All chapters are ALSO on QQ and Fanfiction net. (The latter from the beginning, the former from when the thread got locked.)

Small note to address, while the Deadpool persona is formed of things about the SI that he rejects, the persona is still a version of the SI. Kind of like, what if SI was THIS kind of person instead of THAT kind. And while it wasn't clear, they share anything he doesn't outright hate about himself, essentially. So the human overly greedy manipulative side? Deadpool, but it doesn't mean that SI isn't technically capable of episodes or moments of greed and manipulation. These just form the FOUNDATION of their personalities.

Deadpool in this instance SHARES the SI's base desire to do good and make people smile. He might have next to no scruples, and sure as hell doesn't care about killing someone, he wants the same things as SI in the end. He wants his actions to result in an happy ending. He wants Earth Bet to not have to suffer because of parasitic SUPER COSMIC WHALES. So no worries about that front :3 (Just because he's parts of SI that SI doesn't LIKE doesn't mean he STOPS being an aspect of SI)

Definitely has some Schadenfreude though. Lots of Schadenfreude actually. Hmmm.

Also a small thing that people seemed to want to know, SI is now a pseudo/proto-Entity born from the original Eden (Thinker entity's name, right?). Because of this, his presence will charge up the energy in the Vial Capes as well as fill them with a mix of nostalgia and belonging. Some stronger than others. SI will not be absorbing any Eden shards... unless they die. And even then it won't be as the powers. More like control and force of his own abilities will increase as well as Entropy fragments. Any dead Eden shards that don't get claimed will float in the natural ether of Earth until they seep into him eventually. So in theory (assuming he waits a few decades) SI could just gain Entropy Fragments for sitting still and doing nothing.

All shardy things return to their living Entity source eventually. Even if that's not the original Entity. And that while SI hasn't learned of it, nor would he care to learn, it is TECHNICALLY possible to actively harvest Warrior Shards. This, while I will bring up is a thing that is possible, has a less than 1% chance of me implementing it in the story.

I WILL say that will make Deadpool want to do a little hunting for evil Eden Shards. SI might not let him though. (Power Sight 2nd Trigger will allow a bunch of new insight, as well as WHAT kind of shard a person has)

As the Endbringers go?... Well. THAT I won't spoil :P

Also this chapter took a bit of an emotional turn that I didn't expect it to go. Be warned.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

"Wade..."

"Dude. Look. I know it looks bad, but-"

"I'm not mad that you were firing guns when CIVILIANS were around in an URBAN area even though I should be... You were being attacked, and unless you FOCUS hard on it, the Schrodinger effect does the you know what. I know it was self-defense. I AM a LITTLE miffed that you caused way more destruction than bullets and flying bricks SHOULD and LEVELED A BUILDING even though it turned out to be an E88 WEAPONS DEPOT in disguise... What I'm upset about is the fact that you ESCALATED things BY TAKING ALL THEIR WEAPONS and began USING them like a madman screaming 'I AM BLASKOWICZ, FEAR ME NAZI SCUM' every time you knocked out a Nazi WITH A FUCKING FIREAXE! THAT and the fact that the WHOLE time you were fighting you were playing FUCKING THERAPIST and now we have a CRYING RUNE in MY LIVING ROOM eating SIX PINTS of ice cream LIKE SHE GOT OUT OF A BAD RELATIONSHIP!"

I shook Deadpool back and forth like a ragdoll, "And you gave her MY STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM?! That was Capannari's from CHICAGO! $160 of GLORIOUS STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM TO REWARD MYSELF FOR A JOB WELL DONE GETTING RIDER HER FREEDOM! It JUST arrived THIS MORNING! I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT ALL DAY YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Plus the worst part was that it was SWEET cathartic release of fucking up some Nazis that I now HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR because you brought the damage and collateral UP TO A 9!

AND ALSO WHY MY STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM?!

"It's her favorite too, you fruitcake!" Deadpool shook me off, "And you see, when a Nazi finally admits that their ideology is wrong in the throes of battle then become devastated, it really isn't any different from getting out of a bad rel-"

"NOT THE POINT!"

"Hey wait! You just called mom a bitch!"

"FUCK YOU! SHE IS!"

Deadpool nodded sagely, "Mhm. Amen. Nay. HALLELUJAH, brother PREACH IT!"

"Why the fuck are you happy about that... Nevermind. WHY DID YOU BRING HER TO MY HOUSE?!"

Fucking hell! You KNOW PRT might have this place rigged!

 _Calm your tits. It's probably got like, a wiretap, at worst you paranoid bastard._

You do REALIZE tinker-tech is a thing? And Armsmaster's specialization is MINIATURIZING TECHNOLOGY?!

 _Ah._

You fucking idiot.

"You're an idiot." I repeated out loud. "It needs repeating twice. That's how big of an IDIOT you are."

"Look, come on man, you can totally just set a precedent. Setting up villains and turning them into heroes left and right!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"And you seem to think that it's just THAT FUCKING EASY! You DO realize that like, the only reason our thing with Rider went through so easy is because we had a whole SLEW of sympathetic jury members AND we pulled EVERY favor Ted had, right? That and we made BIG deals with the PRT that we CAN'T just keep leveraging!" I sighed, "I knew letting you go out like that was a bad idea..."

"So you admit this is your fault."

"NOT what I meant. And stop trying to deflect blame! What're you gonna do about this?"

Rune sniffed as she finished of my beautiful, pristine perfect looking ice cream.

God... my ice cream... My self reward...

"...m' sorry..." Rune sniffled again, eyes beginning to tear up.

Oh for Christ's sake...

"Ah, look. Fine. It's ok. It's not your fault..." I turned to Deadpool. "It's his."

Also HOW THE FUCK did you turn her into this blubbering apologetic mess?!

 _Uh. Let me think. Long story short? Therapy._

THERAPY DOESN'T EXPLAIN JACK SHIT!

 _Ok. Obviously you want the long story then. Buckle up. Because I'm about to remind you some shit. Because we're nowhere (and never will be) near the level of Tattletale or shit, but:_

 _During elementary school you were so autistic you had no friends and couldn't understand people on a basic level. So during the beginning of middle school you started analyzing EVERYONE at your school down to, personality traits, interactions, and theories on reasons why they acted certain ways in different situations. People stopped being people to you and instead big puzzles made of lots of small features, traits, and behavioral practices with exceptions to the rules depending on social upbringing, culture, and their positions in the various cliques that existed._

 _Eventually you got good enough that you could emulate them enough to not get bullied in early highschool and made it subconscious enough that you seemed like a normal likable person near it's end, even having two girlfriends, one of which you kept dating into college for 2 years despite the fact it was a long distance relationship. You looked like a late bloomer to everyone else, but while you're not being creepy SUPER ANALYST consciously anymore, you did so subconsciously all the time._

 _You tailored parts of your interaction methods, subtle body language, and topic genres for conversations that you brought up on the regular depending on the person in college. After breaking up with your second girlfriend, you abused it to sleep with five different girls before the guilt got to you and you stopped. You then proceeded to forget that you were like this to the point where you DID and you believed you were just probably a late bloomer._

 _But you didn't. Because I do. Because I even know where the fuck you buried the old notebooks with the notes because you were so ashamed. Analyzing people was always probably our only real talent. But you can't do it anymore consciously because you're scarred by it. I don't. I remember it. And I KNOW I can do something good with it. Whether that be fucking up baddies, or finding out if baddies are just dumb teens in shit situations. And that Banter skill's been really helping. For both me AND you actually._

Fuck you. So what, you broke down Rune to every little detail about herself that she was terrified of, I'm guessing? No. I just have to feel inside of myself and try to recall the details. Because you're still **ME**. You're a terrible fucking person. When she attacked you your initial reactions and quips were all to begin breaking down whether she was someone that could be a good person or not. If she wasn't YOU'D HAVE KILLED HER.

AND even if you're trying to help, you don't just BREAK down people's world view as you fight them! You just kept throwing jokes at her to keep her adrenaline up just enough that her fight or flight instincts override her better judgement so that she just KEPT fighting so that you can find more and more things about her to break down and throw in her face! AND YOU ALMOST BROKE HER! You only stopped because SHE WAS SO OVERWHELMED THAT SHE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF WITH HER OWN BRICKS! Why'd you even bother saving her at that moment you tore away everything she believed in?! WHEN SHE LOST EVERYTHING?!

 _Because she needed saving._

...What? What actually-

 _You've always been scared of how much power you had over people. Scared of manipulating them, twisting the keys, pushing the buttons, but it's our SINGLE talent, and simplest crutch. That's why you, I, whatever, used Suzerain in the first place. Because we're cowards that NEED a pillar like that in a world as fucked up as this one._

 _So let's do good with it. Even if you won't I WILL._

 _I'm not scared of my power of analysis or the way I can compartmentalize people and their little pieces that makes up the whole. I embrace it. That's how WE BECAME OURSELVES in the first place. You may not need it anymore and you've rejected it and because of Suzerain I think you're probably unable to be that kind of person with other people again. But your time with that kind of mentality turned you into enough of a normal person that you don't honestly need it anymore anyways._

 _Just keep being the awkward, hammy you that wanted to believe in people so much. The you that wanted to just grow up to be somebody that made people smile. FIX PEOPLE. Bring them a reason to smile. But you can't fix something without know why it's broken. Let me deal with that bit while you give 'em hope, Mr. Symbol of Peace._

...Dammit Wade. I hate you.

 _I know. I hate you too. Just as much as I love you and need to love you. You're me, after all. If I can't love myself, I don't need to exist. And thus wouldn't. All because Schrodinger fucking hated his goddamn cat._

I'm pretty sure that wasn't the reason why. Or if that's how it works. And you really need to stop pulling the rug out from under people's mentalities. Most people aren't, you know, US that need a kick in the ass and need our own personal fears addressed from time to time to stay sane and functional.

 _...Yeah. I can admit that much. I actually went a bit too far with Rune, so I need you to fix it. You didn't give me any of that can-do peppy-ass mentality that you somehow call an attitude no matter how well I can fake it. Even though you had too damn much of your love for comedy to go around. I break-em, you fix-em, right?_

We aren't the fucking Mario Brothers, Wade. Also, I don't think that the Mario Brothers were mechanics. They were plumbers.

 _They didn't plumb shit. Now go fix her leaky pipes that she's using as eyes._

I sighed.

"After teachin' Taylor to drive we were supposed to be taking it easy and having a calm, comfortable day." I groaned as I sat down next to Rune. "Sorry bout the two of us having that awkward staring contest. Did the ice cream help?"

Rune nodded, her hood had been pulled back and her hair was a mess of dirty clumps and dusty locks.

"Yeah... sorry... that was actually the best ice cream I think I've ever had." she gave me a weak chuckle, her eyes were pointed down, puffy and bloodshot.

I chuckled back just as weakly.

"Yeah. It was costly, but nothing close to being a problem." I scratched my head, "Let's reintroduce ourselves. I'm All Might. Independent Hero, part-time healer... I dream of being a Symbol of Peace that people can hope and believe in."

"...Rune. I am... was..." She took a deep watery breath and sighed. "I'm a member of E88, even though now I just really don't want to admit that and leave... I... I just want to be myself. And I want become someone that I can say that I'm proud to be. And... apparently everything I was raised to believe in was mostly hate and stealing from the cultures we looked down upon in the first place and all I really want out of life right now is to PUNCH my STUPID uncle that USED me as a STEPPING STONE in climbing up the social ladder in the E88! Because HE brought me out here, then when he fucked up a job that HE BROUGHT ME ALONG TO. He USED me as a SCAPEGOAT! He ABANDONED ME so that he could get away scot-free and I GOT SENT TO JUVIE! And because I had NO idea how the real world worked, I hated everyone else there until I boxed myself into a corner until I had to Trigger or die! SO I HATE HIM FOR PRETENDING AFTERWARDS THAT HE WAS DOING ME A FAVOR IN TAKING ME TO THE E88! I HATE HIM! I HATE ALL OF THEM THAT PRETEND THAT THEY'RE ALL BUDDY BUDDY BUT WANT TO STAB EACH OTHER IN THE BACK TO CLIMB UP SOME STUPID SOCIAL LADDER LIKE DUMB SCHOOL KIDS IN A POPULARITY CONTEST! That's all the E88 IS aside from hating all those niggers and- I mean. The blacks. That's... AND MY PARENTS WERE SUPPOSED TO RAISE ME RIGHT."

She turned to me, electric blue eyes manic and wet. Lost and desperate like a puppy in a cardboard box drifting down a river and mewling for help.

"THEY POISONED ME!"

Wade what did you do...

"I WAS THEIR DAUGHTER AND THEY POISONED ME WITH THE SAME STUPID LIES THAT WERE THE REASON THEY HAD TO LIVE OUT IN THE STUPID WILDERNESS IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Dammit man, you dug too deep. Of course he did. He's me. Of course I'd go too far and only realize too late.

"I LEARNED THAT I'M JUST A TERRIBLE, HATEFUL PERSON! AND... and I don't even KNOW if it's MY HATRED OR NOT! And I'll never know... Did I believe in it all because it was easy and made me feel SPECIAL or did I believe because THAT'S ALL I COULD HAVE KNOWN? Because that was the POISON my parents fed me! BECAUSE I LOVE THEM. Because... how could I know? They tucked me in. Pa taught me how to track deer. Ma told me how to feed the baby chickens. I LOVED THEM! Didn't they love me?! Why would they teach me to HATE SO DAMN MUCH if they LOVED ME?! HOW?! NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE! I-"

I wrapped my arms around her and lend her my shoulder.

She struggled before beginning to wail, sobbing desperately and nails clawing at my costume and skin as they gripped so hard they would have broken skin if it wasn't for my body's toughness.

Deadpool left to go punch some more Nazi's and I couldn't bring it in myself to stop him.

We needed some catharsis.

* * *

POV: Deadpool

Original me was doing just fine comforting Rune like the dumb teddy bear he is.

"Every gambler knows... that the secret to survivin'..." I sang quietly under my breath, leaping and Blinking from rooftop to rooftop. With Rider's help, a small set of wires had been installed in the masks allowing it to be used for communication, picking up on police scanners, and even recording my own voice. As well as the things around me. The latter was a secondary side effect, I swear.

But me? I had some self-induced anger to let off.

"Is knowing what to throw away..."

And while I had originally been itchin' to punch out a few more Nazis... I found someone better to murderize. I even made use of Schrodinger's 2nd Trigger to make another Deadpool dressed in a VERY dark blue (almost black) to keep to the shadows and record all of this sweet revenge-making with a pretty high end, quality camera.

"And knowing what to keep..."

The motherfucking ABB asshole that liked beating my face in with a 2 by 4. Oh I couldn't forget his fucking face even after a hundred years. And I was gonna get footage of his demise.

"Cuz every hand's a winner... and every hands a loser..."

Pierce of shit was eating Peking duck in some glass balcony lookin' VIP Chinese restaurant overlooking the bay. Laughing it up and drinking with some mercenary looking dude with his back faced to me.

Black bodysuit, enough bandoleers and knives to look like an anime character. That's the level of over compensation that only having a small dick could drive you to.

"And the best that you can hope for-"

The motherfucker that BURNED MY EYE OUT was making a toast... with my crosshairs lined up (accounting for wind and other factors with a convenient tinker device from Toybox that did the job of a Spotter) right on his greasy forehead.

"-is to die in your sleep."

The Tinker silenced sniper rifle (the only Tinker gun in my possession and what had come with the Spotter-bot) made a sound like something spitting out a spitball through a straw.

And a jackass's head split open like a watermelon on a Japanese beach.

I heard muffled screaming from all the way back where I was.

Ah. I only wish that he could have FELT that bullet splitting his head and knew it was fucking karma. Ah, what a beautiful, glorious bitch she is.

I was still peering through the scope humming the rest of the song as I watched everyone in the restaurant panic.

All but- oh fuck me that's Oni Lee. I couldn't tell from the back, but the mask of his is a giveaway. Fuck is he doing at a restaurant with his mask on?!

He can't Kakashi it like me!

KARMA YOU ACT TOO FAST YOU FUCKING WHORE!

Can he- yup he sees me. Then again I AM dressed like an edgy Santa Claus. Wearing what HE probably can only see as E88 colors.

This could be fun. If I can get away, that is.

"You've got to know where when to hold 'em." I quickly put my sniper gear away as I began jumping and Blinking. "Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk aw-"

It's a shame I haven't gotten a handle on Blinking to longer distances yet because Oni Lee was nearly instantly in front of me, pin-less frag grenade and knife in hand.

A swift kick lashed out, sending the grenade flying into the air a flash of chemical flame and shrapnel, lighting up the Brockton Bay skyline. A knife tore viciously into and up my thigh as I spun catching the clone by the neck with said stabbed leg. The force launched him off the edge of the building as I summoned dual deagles.

"You didn't let me finish my song, you asshole!" I growled blocking a stab with one deagle, the tip of the blade sliding against the slide, and hip-firing the other.

Three 50 AE rounds just tore through his body and the stabbing clone crumpled, wounds bleeding out white carbon ash.

A knife dug into my kidney from behind and I fired backwards seemingly blindly, arms whipping through the air as my right hand pointed back over the shoulder, my left twisted the shoulder inwards to the torso, turning my arm a near 180 degrees as my guns spat lead, only to scatter more white carbon ash as two holes bloomed in his head and groin.

"Fuck! This is pre-Shippuden clone tactics ramped up to 11!" I ducked a stab, blowing a 50 AE round through another clone's torso, then swung an elbow, catching Oni Lee as he appeared digging into his ribs. "Get predicted on!"

I flipped a deagle around, pistol-whipping it into the side of his head. His hands held the wrist of my attacking arm as another Oni Lee appeared shoving serrated steel into my forearm and triceps.

A headbutt met his mask in return, cracking the surface before a deagle kissed the underside of his chin.

"Ever been skullfucked?" Hot lead blew through his skull. "Oh who am I kidding, you work for _LUNG_. So this is normal, yeah?"

Shame it was just a spray of carbon ash.

Still, with the way I forced his head, there was only one place he could have warped to.

Dual uzis appeared in my hands and sprayed at the Oni Lee in the air above me, dropping grenades.

He must have teleported again because the bullets shredded though him, leaving white ash behind in the empty spaces.

Then the grenades popped.

"AUGH! FLASHBANG! MY SWEET EXTRA VIRGIN EYES!"

Oni Lee appeared behind me bringing a knife down with both hands, sinking down like snake fangs to my neck.

I leaned back and drew my katanas out, one blade cutting through his left arm at the elbow, the other only catching the side of his mask as he tried to dodge midair. Gotta love the element of surprise. That and being able to see when blind because there is ANOTHER me (recording all this sweet footage!) that I can use for a third person perspective of myself.

"FOURTH WALLRU BREAKAH!" I screamed, still blind as I spun around bisecting Oni Lee. This time he warped away before I could harm him, the two halves dissolving to dust.

Filthy eye cheats like Pein? I got 'em, Naruto-boy. Your flashbang's aren't worth the DRAGON DICK you sucked to get'em!

Thank GOD harming Oni Lee was easiest when he was certain without a doubt that something COULDN'T attack him from that manner. Easy for me. Hard for fucking normies.

Oni Lee's mask clattered to the ground (only a strap to hold it in place? Seriously?) as he appeared on a building two blocks away letting out a pained grunt as he gripped his arm stump.

Oh look, I got his ear too. Right in the earlobe. There was a chunk of it on the ground next to the mask.

I couldn't make out facial features at this distance, but that HAD to be a look of hatred.

"Hey Discount-Naruto! You dropped something!" I yelled over to him waving his dismembered arm about. "Plus, you look like you need a hand! Wait does the eye thing make me Sasuke? I cut off his arm too! FUCK! I don't wanna be Sasuke! I'd have to kiss you!" I screamed in horror. "Plus he's a _fuckboi!_ "

There was a very painful heat in my head as well as an uncomfortable feeling of hollow headedness as my body just collapsed.

Fucker shot me while I was distracted.

That piece of shit.

Oni Lee appeared over my body with a silenced pistol (I still can't believe he HIT me at that range! Or that he had a pistol! Where was he holding it, between his cheeks?!) as his beady eyes glared at me hatefully.

Which opened into shock as he began unloading said pistol into my body, (probably for catharsis. This whole shit-hole of a town needed that) a katana flashed into my hand like a motherfucking Keyblade and lopped off his left leg mid shin.

"That was for the improvised lobotomy!" I spun up capoeira-style as I got back to my feet, then I flung the katana behind me, the blade flying straight and true and piercing the real body of Oni Lee as he tried to get away.

The ash clone in front of my tried to act, but my hands reached out and snapped his neck like I was twisting an XXL Rubik's Cube.

"This is because I FEEL LIKE IT!"

The blade sunk into a watertank and pinned Oni Lee in place as he screamed in pain.

"Can't teleport when you're physically tied down to an exceptionally large mass. That's your power's limitation." I growled as I kicked the blade deeper Sparta style. "And that was because of the quick time event!"

Another katana slashed and I cut the bandoleers of grenades (plus knives) free from his body and tossed them behind me into Pocket Room. I could dump it in the bay later and let it explode there. He thought he was being subtle as he tried going full kamikaze again and I was having none of it.

"You know if you didn't chase me down, I'd have let you go, but... now I've got a use for ya. The Merc' With A Mouth could use some street cred, ya know?"

A hand grabbed the back of Oni Lee's head, slamming it into the water tank before pulling back and shoving his own grenade pins into his eyes. I ignored the agonized screech. Yeesh. You think for a suicide soldier that works for a gang he had more pain tolerance than this shit.

"I think you'll do. Show them that... heh. _I'm here too_." I grinned over Oni Lee's scream of pain. He screamed again because I slammed his face into the water tank/tower again, pins STILL in his eyes. Obviously. "Only got room for one BAMF teleport man in this town, I'm afraid. Thank GOD Nightcrawler isn't a thing here. SO THAT I CLAIM THE BAMF FIRST BEYOTCH!"

I signaled the other Deadpool in black to make his way over to me. Damn me, this was gonna make some good footage. Especially once I added the sounds from my end over it and synced everything up just right.

This is how you make an impact on the internet, Uber and L33t!

NeverMIND that all of this only worked because he expected me to die and couldn't have even GUESSED that I had otherworldly spacial awareness via a second me acting as eyes that saw EVERYWHERE he teleported to at all times.

Anyone that said "People die when they are killed" sure as hell didn't watch enough Fate/Stay-Night. Or meet me. Probably the latter.

"Hi God? It's me Margaret." I grabbed the camera, "Oh wait, wrong script. Hello Brockton Bay! This is your frrrriendly neighborhood Deadpool bringing you the mauled corpse of Boner Bee! Wait, that's the wrong..."

Still holding the camera selfie-style, I turned to Oni Lee.

"Hey what was your name again?"

"Fuck you!" He spat. Another face slam into water tank followed.

"Well that's just not nice. Well, I got Bronie Lee here and just wanted to say hi to everybody before I drop his ass off at the PRT HQ and let them handle him. Gonna upload this first on PHO to prove it was me that turned him in! Street Cred is VERY important when you're the newest little merc in a big scawee town. So if you've got someone that needs 'taking care of' contact me! Or send me pictures of your cat. I can also accept bartering of goods and services instead of legal tender! But really, note to self... make coin a thing here... what was I talking about again?"

I picked up Oni Lee's mask and made a show of tying it to my belt on cam.

"Oh and for the Nazi's that just tripped my warehouse's silent alarm?" I pulled out a small cellphone like device that was flashing a red light, "Too bad for you I just moved out the ONLY thing of worth in there. The rest of it's just garbage and junk from the local scrapyard... And all the C4 and other explosives I stole from the weapons depot I tore through while fighting Rune. Which reminds me."

A rumbling echoed in the distance, and the camera was turned to one of the old warehouses down by the docks. It was definitely the cause of the rumbling, mind you, as it was blown up by a large amount of explosive everything. And now VERY much a big crater. Luckily this wasn't one that was part of the Dockworker's Union's area, but technically in E88 territory (something about Med-Hall being linked to E88, I forget what exactly). Because I baited them. Figured after Rune went missing they'd be force to act. Best part about Pocket Room was the fact that it didn't have an upper size limit that I had been able to find yet, so the Auto-Forge was still in tip-top shape.

I turned the camera back towards myself.

"I am not a Nazi and have no affiliation with E88. Y'all niggas stole my color scheme. That's as personal as two rednecks sharing a gun and I don't like that one bit. So, I'm coming for you Hitler humping hamsters on personal level. DEADPOOL OUT!"

* * *

After finally getting Rune all cried out and calm, I was working through the various options we had to work with her future. The easiest being setting her up with her with a new identity and giving her a peaceful civilian life, the hardest (and of course the one she wanted) was to rebrand like Rider did and properly win her freedom and do some good-

There was a rumble in the far distance.

And I knew vaguely that it was an exploding warehouse. But, I don't have any Thinker powers yet. The only way I'd know that was...

"...WADE! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! WE NEEDED THAT WAREHOUSE!"

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: Welcome, Cedron Spaulding and Anders Kronquist to my Pat reon supporter list. We're glad to have you.

Next chapter is gonna be All Might focused


	14. The Calm Before The Storm

AN: Thank you, WaNoMatsuri for helping support my work by following me on . Welcome aboard.

Escalation begins again with the next chapter. Because that's exactly what the SI DOESN'T want, but Oni Lee getting mauled is a thing, so...

Meanwhile this chapter ended up way slower paced than I planned on after making the realization that my brain mistook Sept 10th 2010 as Sat, not Friday. Unfortunately that changes some things XD but nothing crazy.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

"...All Might? Why is Deadpool sitting like that?"

"It's called the seiza position. A Japanese name for some sitting position all asians do when being super formal. Or being punished."

"Is... that why he has a sign around his neck that says 'I have been a bad child. Do not spank me, it will only encourage me. Just ignore me.'?"

"Yes. Yes it is. The only reason he's quiet is that I had to gag him under the mask, too."

"Huh... is... IS THAT ONI LEE'S MASK DANGLING FROM HIS BELT?!"

"Yes. And yes that is part of the reason he's in time out."

Not that it's any help mentally.

 _I'll NEVER GIVE IN TO THE AUTHORITAH! STICK IT TO THE MAN, MAN!_

You're a fucking idiot.

 _Not my fault that both of us have full access to Schrodinger. They have NOTHING to do with how we interpret either persona. Grey middle ground powers don't get compartmentalized away._ _That's why you can still use Pocket Room, you just don't abuse it publicly the way I do._

Do you have to explain EVERYTHING like a know it all?!

 _Normally that's your shtick, so no._

Oh thank God.

 _I just do it BECAUSE it pisses you off!_

I turned and threw an apple at his face. He dodged it ever so slightly before swaying from side to side, bobbing his head up and down like a boxer. All while staying in seiza.

That taunting little sunuva...

No. Be the mature one here, Joe. Don't let him bait you. It's what he wants.

I took a deep breath and sighed before I turned to see Rider putting the bruised apple I threw on his head. Then took a peach from the fruit basket we were keeping in the kitchen area. Then put that on top of the apple. Then a pear. A banana...

Wade. What the fuck...

 _Don't distract me. I cant move an inch right now._

And you're going along with this why?...

 _One, I'm letting her have her fun. Even if it's weird as shit. Especially because it's weird as shit. Two, she hasn't realized every time she stacks fruit on she's totally flashing me her tits with her Rider outfit. Three, this is oddly turning me on. Mostly cuz of the tits in face._

What the fuck is actually wrong with you?

I sighed as I turned to the real problem that I was gonna have to deal with.

Namely a certain video going viral that featured a dismembered Oni Lee that was still only up because Wade pretty much used ALL of my current funds to pay some Toybox Tinker to keep it (and his account) online as long as possible. It should have only been enough to give him 10 minutes. But apparently the Tinker liked the video so much that he promised Wade that he'd make sure it was up for 24 hours on the dot. And that he would pay for footage like this in the future.

He did give a disclaimer that it was suspected that Dragon had fingers in the PHO pie, so if that was the case, he'd get three hours of uptime. Max.

Fucking shit this world is going to hell.

The worst part is that I had to buy or rent out ANOTHER warehouse and I didn't get any money until another week. At least Danny was gonna lend a hand in the meantime with his connections.

Still, I supposed I should make another round of hospital visits. And sell some of the unnecessary surplus of weapons that Deadpool had hijacked from E88.

More the latter. There were a LOT of weapons and we needed some emergency cash NOW.

 **Welcome to the Parahumans Online Message Boards**

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 **Topic: New Mercenary Cape DESTROYS Oni Lee! Must Watch! Up for LIMITED TIME!**

 **In: Boards ► News ► Events ► America**

► **TheRegeneratingDegenerate** (Unverified Cape) (Merc' With A Mouth)

Posted on September 10th 2010

Hello, Brockton Bay! I, your friendliest Merc' With A Mouth, Deadpool has OFFICIALLY entered the BB Cape scene!

Try my debut video. Spoiler: Oni Lee get's his ass kicked.

Watch **HERE**

► **NNNn**

Posted on September 10th 2010

Dude can sing, shoot, teleport, take a beating, USE GUN-KATA, SUMMON shit from NOWHERE, and can just say NO to being SHOT IN THE FUCKING HEAD. Why does ALL the real crazy shit happen in Brockton Bay?!

That and...

HOLY SHIT HE FUCKING DESTROYED ONI LEE! Dude, Lung's gonna go on a war path. Everyone buy your dragon insurance!

► **Bagrat** (Veteran Member) (The Guy in The Know)

Posted on September 10th 2010

Well. Uh. I don't know how this video is UP, but I CAN confirm that the Cape known as Oni Lee was reported to have been officially dropped off (still barely alive and being given medical care, although WHY is beyond me) at PRT Headquarters missing his left arm and leg. The limb wounds were cauterized and no official statements have been released. And yes, his eyes were, uh, mutilated. By grenade pins.

For real though, how did this get through the mods? And why is it still up? Tin Mother's pretty good about this sort of thing.

► **TinMother** (PHO Moderator)

Posted on September 10th 2010

TheRegeneratingDegenerate Please take down this thread. And tell whichever Tinker you hired to stop us from taking this thread down to cease his actions immediately. This is against the rules of conduct of Parahumans Online forum.

Please cease all illegal activity on this website immediately.

► **Kickassor**

Posted on September 10th 2010

Can I pay you to beat up my stepdad?

Also, that was the coolest shit I've seen in a while. Thanks for including a download link at the bottom of the vid. I'm gonna share this with all my friends at school!

► **TheRegeneratingDegenerate** (Unverified Cape) (Merc With A Mouth)

Posted on September 10th 2010

Depends on what kind of stepdad. If he's doin some fucky shit to ya, you should call the cops... or actually if he's cheatin' (have her call me if she's hot) or a pedo, I'll pavement stomp his face in for $50. Kickassor

► **TinMother** (PHO Moderator)

Posted on September 10th 2010

I don't know what you did to this thread, but please DO NOT encourage acts of violence or sell mercenary acts on this website. If it comes down to it, we will track your IP and contact the proper authorities.

► **EmperorOfCoffee** (Veteran Member)

Posted on September 10th 2010

I'm more surprised that TinMother has been unable to do anything about this thread. Is it Tinker shenanigans? Is OP a Tinker too, or just paying a lot of money for almost no reason?

Well, then again, its a video of Oni Lee getting FUCKED UP, so maybe not a waste of money.

► **GoodAnon**

Posted on September 10th 2010

I donno, but he's DEFINATELY got both E88 AND ABB on his ass now. Shit. Things JUST quieted down after the Suicide Panda fiasco. Fuck he gotta do this for?

► **TheRegeneratingDegenerate** (Unverified Cape) (Merc With A Mouth)

Posted on September 10th 2010

Look, I was hired to kill that greasy bastard next to Bronie Lee. I sure as hell didn't ask for him to chase me.

PS: If it ain't obvious, don't chase me. Unless you're a babe and wanna get freaky. I'm lookin' at you Purity! 100% Top Kek MILF

► **GoodAnon**

Posted on September 10th 2010

Ok, the Bronie Lee part is funny, but srsly stop egging on the gangs with LITERAL superpowers.

Also, I hear that Purity seperated from E88. Or something like a fallout. Either way, yes don't kill Purity. She's hot.

Shit I can't get it out of my head now. Oni Lee sitting in his basement playing with plastic multi-colored pony dolls making neighing sounds. And trying to mimic the voices from the show. Somebody draw a picture of this now, please.

► **HandFern** (Cape Enthusiast)

Posted on September 10th 2010

Since the thread seems to be on a superlock, let's just talk theories. I don't think OP is a Brute. I mean. That bullet CLEARLY went through his head. Then he just cuts off Oni Lee's leg? I'm a little scared thinking that maybe he's immortal.

God if that's a not a new cape power...

I can't tell if he has some power similar to Miss Militia though. Those weapons look more real than hers do. That deagle SPARKED when that knife tried stabbing through it. I'm guessing real metal, not that pseudo-energy thing she has goin'

Maybe he's like Circus (small time villain) and has a separate dimension that holds stuff?

Clear teleporting powers though. Seems short range. Still handy. Looks like Oni Lee outranges him though (Not that it matters anymore, eh?). And it makes the mic glitch the few times he used it. Like an odd "BWAMF" noise. Or maybe the mic is glitching. If it DOES make a noise, then that must suck.

Teleport surprise attacks are what MADE Oni Lee so scary...

Actually maybe it's a good thing it makes sound...

► **KeyBane**

Posted on September 10th 2010

I'd pay to see more of this shit.

Terrible villain gets the justice he was deserved and PAINFULLY so. Dude killed my uncle and is a BOOGIE MAN for the innocents of the Asia Town district.

But there's one thing that I find a bit odd. I mean, maybe it's just me being crazy, but he said "I think you'll do. Show them that... _I'm here too_." and maybe I'm CRAZY, but I just cant help think of All Might. It's not possible because dude CLEARLY doesn't have All Might's SMASH power, because he's using weapons and stuff, but. I think it's the regeneration. Being shot through the head and getting back up.

It feels like a clip from the big All Might thread from the Hospital Attack fiasco about a week ago. I know most people skimmed the healing he did, but there was this ONE clip where a guy was half-dead missing a chunk of his head and All Might just LOST a part of his skull as the man was back to normal. All Might's knees didn't even buckle and he had grown back what was gone and the man he saved was just... crying his eyes out thanking him. It just stuck with me.

I KNOW that this Deadpool guy isn't All Might. But he makes me think of him. Especially because I want to like him too in some twisted way. Most heroes in the end don't do shit and just sit there and watch the status quo. All Might goes out of his way to do the Scion thing and save cats from trees and shit (Dude's made a Twitter recently and people are thanking him left and right. His online presence which is just a feed of randos who pictures of him helping people and that's kind of impressive. Some PRT leak verified that half his money earned from healing people is going to charities for those suffering from gang violence too which is... wow. Thanks man All_Might. My cousin's not homeless because of you right now.) and is making people smile.

Deadpool actually just DESTROYED a huge villain in a way that people will sleep better at night once they get Oni Lee's tortured screams out of their heads. And, well, blew up a lot of Nazis. Hopefully.

The fact that he's that willing to mutilate people like that is a huge cause for concern though. Doesn't the unwritten rules not allow for that kind of damage?

Maybe, no, it's probably not fair to All Might to compare him to a guy just claiming to me a mercenary, but these two have been the only thing to shake up Brockton Bay for the better in recent months.

► **GravelBro** (Cape Studies Expert)

Posted on September 10th 2010

Yes, now that I looked over the video again, I CAN see the Regeneration resemblance. While at a bit of a distance, the camera quality is actually rather superb.

I also find your linking All Might and this new Deadpool fellow dreadfully interesting! I feel the topic can be explored more, especially due to whichever Tinker is interfering with the rules of the thread, a little more speculation can be made. I do apologize for the rudeness, kind TinMother, however you must understand, this is a undertaking for SCIENCE!

I am, firstly, quite sure that this Deadpool fellow and All Might are INDEED not the same person, though their general physical shapes are quite similar, it is impossible to be sure through mere footage, so let us leave such ambiguous information aside.

I deduce that they cannot be the same, purely off their powersets. The SOLE thing that could debunk this was if All Might was a Trump (a kind of Trump that differs from my current theory). As we all know, all powers can have a maximum limit of three powers.

Deadpool has an AMAZING regeneration (Brute) that even might be the CURE TO DEATH ITSELF (And so might All Might actually, making this VERY fascinating), a short ranged teleportation, and some sort of quickly and easily accessible pocket dimension. It cannot be weapon creation as he made the bandoleer of grenades disappear and no explosion was heard anywhere in the vicinity.

Considering his obvious attempt at outrunning Oni Lee (the dastard!) it becomes clear that Deadpool's teleportation is very limited in distance, thus again, he cannot be displacing weapons from around him via teleportation. Thus his third power must, once again, be a method of accessing weapons while still being able to put things away in. A pocket dimension fits this criteria to a T. Especially considering we did not hear the sound of explosions when he made the bandoleer of grenades disappear.

All Might is, like Panacea (god bless both their work and service), a Striker that heals. Just that HIS allows him to take wounds from others onto himself. I would believe that then he regenerates the wound taken. That's where his Brute power of regeneration comes in. Super strength, super durability... or so it seems! The original video of his first debut fight has given me some insight. That perhaps All Might's power and durability is a result of his power being used over time rather than initially gained. THAT I believe perhaps All Might shares correlation to Lung SOLELY in the fact that he gains strength over time! And unlike Lung, HIS seems permanent! (as seen by how he blocked Squealer's vehicle with nary a scratch after moving everyone out of the way with AIR PRESSURE FROM CUPPED HANDS ALONE, and yet took MANY stab wounds and injuries and didn't show many actions or attacks that surpassed a VERY capable non-cape combatant) It may be a Breaker, but I believe that perhaps it might even (although unlikely) be categorized as a Trump power that only affects himself! I remain doubtful (but hopeful!) that we might have the best cape to fight Endbringers!

If I am indeed correct, (and please may this be true) time may be all we need for victory.

► **LeviathanIzCuthulu**

Posted on September 10th 2010

GravelBro Firstly, too fucking long bro. Secondly, holy crap. IF that thing about All Might is true, you're not wrong. Still, I AM concerned about how people are linking him with a violent cape like Deadpool.

But tbh? Deadpool VS All Might. I wanna see it. Especially because they're both in BB. IT'S POSSIBLE!

I snorted as I kept reading the thread, some more wild speculations, a few more warnings from TinMother (Dragon, if fanon was correct), and some other chatter about the fight Deadpool had with Oni Lee before the thread was finally locked down and deleted.

That Toybox tinker only manged to keep it up for about two hours. Still really good considering that he was going against Dragon. Amazing when you looked at it from that perspective, really.

Oddly, she didn't delete his account. Probably to try and track Wade whenever he used the damn thing. Probably looking at a few dozen private messages requesting services and a few demands of reparations and servitude and leaving an algorithm to wait for a response.

I just tossed the phone (that Wade was using JUST for this account, asshole spent ALL of our current funds AND bought himself eight smartphones, the fucker) and tossed it back into Pocket Room. Can't track what's in an alternate dimension and all that rot.

"Rider? Can I talk to you?" I called into the base's intercom from the workbench in my room. A few blueprints laying before me. "I want to test a theory."

Moments later, Rider appeared (in her red bodysuited glory) and greeted me with a smile. Her helmet was usually off in base, although she still made a habit of wearing her red and white domino mask for the sake of maintaining a proper separation of her Cape and civilian identity.

"What is it, Joe?" She only ever called me that in the privacy of my own room, "You said you wanted to test something?"

I nodded.

Power Hub worked with Tinker powers as well, and Power Sight gave me more insight on Sherrel's power than anything. She wasn't a Tinker focused on JUST cars. Poor girl lived in Brockton Bay and had never even gotten to try sailing a boat.

No.

Her Shard's Hyper-specialist Architect Tinker archetype encompassed ALL vehicles capable of transporting more than it's pilot (if what it needed to transport was mechanical, she could also BUILD the item of transport to some limited extent) outside of the person controlling said vehicle, as well as the ability to drive/transport them (a Thinker power). Aside from small bits of tinkering outside of that spectrum (like setting up a small headset or two) her power was straight up INCAPABLE of anything else. But things INSIDE that spectrum? All of it free game.

Like MECH-SUITS. Like SPACE SHIPS.

Fuck me, I wanted to make a Gundam SO BAD whenever I consciously tapped into her power (not often because WOW that was a big temptation even though there was no way I could afford afford that kind of upkeep).

Still, Rider wanted a method of being combat eeffective instead of being a force multiplier. She had made a BEAST of a motorcycle that had various non-lethal AND lethal guns built in (a vehicle that transported multiple internal weaponry. Her specialty concept was just SO busted because all you had to DO was twist some words) and while she had tried it out at the abandoned airport. However, it didn't do much for protection, which was a HUGE limiter on her mission effectiveness.

Plus she was always limited to larger, open spaces.

Which is, of course, where I came in.

Because if you had a problem in Worm, you dig the hole deeper by going full weeb.

What? Fuck you, it's worked for me so far.

"See, I was thinking. Your Tinker powers MIGHT go beyond just cars. I got a few blueprints here that-"

They were snatched from my hands the moment Rider laid eyes on them.

"This... these are definitely Tinker blueprints, but... space travel? No. It's capable of a gravity-free environment, but it's not built for long distance. Originally this must have been meant to perform repairs and construction in Earth's orbit, but... this derivative is..." she began muttering as she chewed her lip, a bad habit from her Merchant days. I told her, that it was bad for them and that it'd be a shame if she ever hurt herself (because she bites hard enough to draw blood without thinking).

I think she might secretly be taking advantage of the fact that I worry and keep healing them. But honestly, that was probably just paranoia talking.

"Think you could make use of this?"

She hummed at me, only half-hearing my words, likely already in a Tinker trance of sorts.

"I'm gonna need some time. And the Auto-Forge. When can we have it back online? This... this is going to take a LOT of time and elbow grease."

"I'll have it ready later today. I sent a message to Danny to lend me one of the warehouses in disrepair that's clean enough to work in. You can send all the blueprints of parts you want made to me in the meantime. I'll make sure to check the dropbox every two hours or so."

"Good, good. I've been so busy building that I've already gotten two of the PRT orders assembled and ready for delivery. Dragon's Auto-Forge saves us so much time that I can actually work on the first prototype of this while still making sure to fulfill our promise to the city. This is... where did you get this? This is exactly the kind of thing I wanted for hero work, but... I didn't even think that my Tinker powers could go this route." Rider's eyes didn't leave the blueprints, like drinking the sight in and trying to memorize via osmosis.

I chuckled.

There's no way she'd understand if I explained to her that I got it from a harem anime. Especially if I tried explaining Infinite Stratos, which ended up shoving it's head up its own ass and stopped being interesting about 7 to 8 books into the story.

Sherrel had been struggling to find a way to make a power-suit with her Tinker powers for a while, with minimal success. So I dug into my anime knowledge for a vehicle that would be able to act in such a manner.

IS's were apparently originally designed as space-use pilot-able exoskeletons. Or so the anime stated. They had some vague blueprint designs that they added in a few books just to make the suits seem cooler. Which worked, because I can still sketch out the basic design of the Schwarzer Regen (Black Rain in German, more to rub in the E88's faces when she beat it into their faces. Also, another weird thing to note, I could actually sketch things pretty well when I had tinker powers, but lost that ability immediately when I got out of range.) and although it wasn't a perfect translation into Tinker design, the general structure was a good enough base for what I put together with my limited understanding of Sherrel's power.

Sure, I couldn't figure out a way around the power issue, PIC, or it's computing power, but I left that open for her to fill in. All because Power Hub didn't give me any more than a quarter of her effective Tinker power, the best I could do was give her a basic structure to work with.

I still wanted to build a Gundam with it though.

I'll power it with my Negentropy if I have to.

"Ah, it's something half-assed. Not much I can really do when I'm not really a Tinker-"

"You made this?!" Sherrel's face shot forwards, almost meeting my forehead, and making me step back in surprise.

"There's shielding and sensors that I can barely understand! It's design shows that it's missing a big component to deal with inertia and lacking a method of power, but this is way more than what modern science can-"

"Sherrel. Deep breaths. And, uh, you kinda have my back against the wall here."

She blushed, almost leaping back, as she hid her face with the blueprints.

"Sorry!"

I scratched my head.

"Uhmmm. Ok. One of my powers is... well, I barely understand how it works, but sometimes if I'm near people, I can kind of piggyback off their power. Nowhere NEAR how strong theirs is, but from my guesswork, everyone's compatibility with a power is a little different. Around you I still have the same limitations, but my adaptation of your power likes it when things are space-y. When I tap deep into it all I can think about is making spaceships and the like. From what I can tell, you don't have a limit to the KIND of vehicle for the most part. Just needs to have a human pilot."

That was weird. Is it a matter of perspective? From my perspective the Infinite Stratos is SUPPOSED to have shields and hyper-sensors. It wasn't a complete vehicle without them because that's what the light novels shoved down my throat. Is it because I viewed it as a complete vehicle that way, or that had a more complete idea of what I WANTED to make that made the difference? Hmm. Not having ACTUAL Tinker powers is kind of a problem in my understanding of it all.

At least she understands it, even though it's confusing. As long as she gets it working, that's all we really need anyways.

Sherrel nodded.

"Ah. That explains somethings. You being a Trump makes everything make sense." She smiled beatifically at me, "You didn't need to tell me. But I'm glad that you trust me so much."

Ah the fucking guilt again. Shit. Suzerain gives absolute loyalty. How could I NOT trust her? It would be even more scummy of me if I didn't spill my secrets to you after doing that to you. Shit.

Distract yourself from the guilt, Joe.

"Yes. And I hope that this will be what you need to progress. I know the whole, inability to design a power-suit thing's been bothering you."

She nodded, still smiling.

"Yes. This will help a lot. It might take a while to figure out a power solution, however. But once that gets sorted... I have a few alterations in mind."

"Oooh." I perked up. I may not be a Tinker, but their shit was cool AF. "Like what?"

She made a Come Hither gesture and I lent her my ear.

"It's a secret~" she whispered cheerily before (was she skipping?) turning away and leaving the room.

"Well... ok. I suppose I'll go check up on Danny if I don't get a message about a usable warehouse, set up the Auto-Forge, and head out for class." I stretched before leaving the room.

Fuck, right today was Friday. Shit, I was running late. Meh.

I didn't turn to the main area and I didn't see Deadpool buried up to his neck in fruit. Nope. Not at all. Where the fuck did all that fruit come from?!

Regardless, once I was properly above ground, my personal phone regained signal and I received a text from Danny for the number of a warehouse. Minutes later I began setting up the Auto-Forge.

Sherrel had already sent a bunch of files to our private dropbox (way faster than I had expected) and I set up everything to print after dumping all sorts of scrap and junk metal into the Auto-Forge's feed line.

Then it was just a quick matter of getting to Winslow (ugh). It was Friday, after all.

School was a boring affair, but it was peaceful enough for me and Taylor. Sophie had picked some different targets to bully and let her stress off on, much to my disappointment. It was unbecoming of a hero. It didn't weigh well on Taylor's consciousness either, as a part of her couldn't (apparently) help but to feel that her freedom from Sophia's bullying was done by pushing said bullying on someone else. I pointed out that as distasteful as it was she definitely wasn't responsible for this kind of thing. That and the fact that she felt that way was a sign that, in my opinion, that had the mentality of a hero.

Heroes should feel uncomfortable when something wrong was happening in front of them. It was righteousness that made a hero. The inherent desire to do good onto others. Even when it was hard. Especially when it was hard.

So obviously (as Taylor grumbled half angrily, half proudly, as she stabbed her fork angrily into her lunch) I decided that I'd have to have a word with Hess.

I sighed. At least I shared a class with her. And Emma was out sick today, as far as I could tell.

"So, there's something I can't understand." I said quietly in the darkness of the film studies classroom. "Why the hell are you fucking over some poor kids when you're supposed to be a hero?"

Sophia just quirked a brow at me as she chewed on some beef jerky. I had brought snacks as a peace offering of sorts. Also being able to eat endlessly without gaining weight was fucking amazing. That and the teacher didn't care if people ate in class and only handed out punishments if they made a mess that left a stain. Or smelled too strong like curry.

"Fuck you care for?"

I shrugged as I sipped on a can of root beer.

"Color me curious. Also I can't understand why you go out of your way to make people miserable when you think they're beneath you."

She rolled her eyes.

"Ugh. Your protect the sheep mentality is the one thing that really turns me off about you. Fuck if they even matter. They're prey, I'm a predator. Put two and two together already."

"See, I'm not sure if you understand. If you put things like that it's just a matter of Darwinism. And if that was the case, I'd already have put you six feet under for hunting in my territory."

"Look, I don't care about this therapy bullshit. I-"

"Decided to be a hero. You could have gone out and hunted other innocent prey and even made money mugging them. Or gotten your sick kicks by beating them up. You could have hit up all of the small businesses in the bay and made it rich a few thousand at a time and nobody at the PRT would have batted an eye. But you hunted gangbangers, rapists, and racists. And you don't give a shit about the law because, surprise surprise, everybody knows that you've been carrying your sharpened crossbow bolts, which you're not supposed to, but nobody has called you out on it. Because you seem to be trying to be a hero. So explain to me, just how much is that an act?"

"The fuck are you high? Of course I'm a her-"

"This world has forgotten what **BEING** a **Hero** means. It's not wearing a costume and playing at cops and robbers. It's making a difference, protecting the innocent, and fighting wrongs. Because when you fight, it's not a show of power. It's not for the thrill of the hunt. It's not to maintain some sort of status quo. It's because there are **monsters** who prey on the weak. Who live by causing suffering onto others, feeding off of humanity like **parasites** on the underbelly of human society. That's why from the beginning of time, legends were written about heroes because **they were what monsters feared, and what few men dared to become**." I hissed, quietly, but with passion. I leaned closer to Sophia in the dimly lit classroom, ignoring her nervous swallow and her minute trembling. "I **dare** to be a hero. To protect the innocent. To stand as a figure of peace and hope against the darkness that monsters and villains have so gleefully created. So I really have to ask you, Sophia Hess. Are you a **Hero**?.. Or **monster**?"

Her eyes never broke contact with mine, as if she could see my stare through the colored lens of my eye-wear. Her pupils dilated in the dark, a product of the dim lighting. She held her breath, as if making a single sound would be her end. As if the silence itself was the only thing that-

A rolled up magazine bopped the top of my head, breaking my train of thought.

I turned to see the film studies teacher (who was actually awake for the first time since I've been in his class) give me a firm stare.

"Mr. Lee. There will be no flirting in my classroom. Especially if you are trying to pressure a younger classmate into reciprocating your advances."

What? Firstly, ew not Sophie. And again.

"Huh?"

What the fuck was he talking about?

I turned to Sophia to see if she understood what was going on, but the bitch was hiding her face with her arms as she slumped down on her table, shoulders slowly heaving up and down like she was taking deep breaths. It looked like embarrassment, but... no she HAD to have been laughing at me, the bitch. Must have seen this coming and froze like a deer in headlights to bait me.

Fuck.

Did I just get played? Did she see the teacher wake up in her peripherals and kept eye contact on purpose?!

"One warning only, Mr. Lee. In the future, this will be detention. Am I clear?"

I sighed.

"Yessir." I grumbled as the rest of the class laughed under their breaths at me.

Fuck I hated high school.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: When SI is still Gigachad-lite but doesn't get it.

Also the theme of the next chapter is pretty much DBZ Rock the Dragon intro.


	15. Rock The Dragon

AN: DRAGON DRAGON ROCK THE DRAGON HAM MIGHT Z!

And seriously SB? I have to turn in EVERY SINGLE chapter in for review? APPARENTLY? Dude. Fuck that. I was told it was there for something I felt needed a check up. There was NOTHING sexual in the last chapter except 1 joke about Rider's suit. Like actually ROFLOL. These guys are all the biggest virgins I've ever seen.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

"Wow. So, you found this in, what, three days?"

Taylor nodded as she nibbled on a taco, still staring at the papers on the table between us.

"Wow. Well. The good thing is that this does verify that something bad happened to Emma over the summer before your freshman year. The bad thing is that aside from the police report and Alan Barnes getting those ABB gangbangers sent to jail, it's unclear what exactly happened. They got separated after getting pulled out of the car and they were apparently saved by Shadow Stalker before she went Wards." I scratched my head. This was making me think of Rune who was still back at my house, slumming it on my couch at the moment. "I guess some things got implied, but nothing verified outright aside from assault."

"That doesn't make sense though! Why'd Emma change off that?!" Taylor angrily slammed her taco back on her plate. Soft tortilla flapped onto ceramic as carnitas, onions, and cilantro scattered. "I was her best friend! She could have... no she SHOULD have relied on me. I would have been there for her."

She bit her lip.

I sighed.

"I don't want to point fingers... but it might be Shadow Stalker."

She gave me a very confused look.

"What?"

"Look, Taylor, I know you look up to heroes. And that's good. But many people who trigger are broken people. Some overcome that and become greater than themselves. Others fall to depravity or just imitate heroes to feel powerful. If I'm being honest, I consider Shadow Stalker to be in that last third category. She has some odd perception that might have been the result of her Trigger. Things are black and white for her for the most part. Predator and prey. I think she rubbed that mentality off on Emma somewhat when she saved her." I paused, taking a mouthful of burrito, the carne asada feeling like ash in my mouth.

I felt awful about the whole situation. It was all just so dumb. Teenagers taking the wrong lessons from what happened in life. It happened all the time. Hell, I did it too. Teenagers are mostly pretty stupid as a whole.

"You know I talked to Hess and Emma to get them to back off you right? Emma said some weird stuff that I guess didn't click with me until now." I mean, it was pretty much just speculation for me at that point. Now we had proof. "She said you were a weakness she had to purge. But it was more as if she was trying to cut away her past as something weak and you were just the unfortunately perfect outlet. I was so taken aback that I asked what would happen if I could prove to her that you were strong."

I paused again.

"I'm not sure now if that's a 100% good idea. Honestly, I'd prefer it if we just got her counseling. She said she'd stop if you proved that you were strong, but I think that it would only strengthen her crazy. I... look I don't know her like you do. Think over it and tell me what you want to do. Whatever it is, I'll do my best to help."

Taylor sat there quietly staring at the papers in front of her, absentmindedly now poking at her now barely-taco with a fork.

"...How though? Uncle Alan cares a lot about Emma and her sister, but he's really OCD about keeping up appearances. If we make it look like Emma needs mental help, he'll go ballistic and try to sue. Probably. That's honestly what I feel."

I nodded.

"Lawyers respect the laws the least. That's the irony. They're not there to do justice or champion anything, just get paid to twist words and convince people one thing and one thing only. That the other side is in the wrong and their side is innocent." I laughed weakly, "That's the sad truth."

Hell, those were ROOKWOOD's own words to me.

Makes you wonder why the hell Brandish ever became a hero.

Wait, vigilantism used to be illegal a long time ago. Pft. Figures.

Taylor sighed as she half-heartedly put her taco back together.

"I need to think about this." She decided. "This is a lot to consider at once."

"Take your time. There's no need to-"

We were interrupted by a rumbling echo in the distance. Something bigger, more angry than any animal I had ever heard. Like something out of a Jurassic Park movie.

"What the heck?" Taylor muttered, "What the heck was that?!"

The guy at the register of the Tex-Mex place we were eating at fumbled through a drawer for a TV remote and switched the channel of the TV in the corner of the restaurant. It was a beat up old thing that might have been top of the shelf if we traveled 10 years back in time. Now? It was just noisy junk.

Noisy junk that played the news.

"-aking News! Right now all citizens in the vicinity of 12th and Coleman to evacuate IMMEDIATELY! The Cape Villain known as Lung has begun an attack against a group of E88 who are defending a building with heavy weaponry! It is surmised that there will likely be an extended gang war in the immediate area! Once again-"

I ignored the rest of the broadcast as I turned to Taylor.

"Stay here! Call Danny and wait! You can't head home with a gang war between us and the house."

Taylor shot out of her chair.

"Wait, Joe, that's LUNG! You can't-"

"I've got this. Stay. Here." I said before running out of the restaurant.

I ducked quickly into an alleyway, stripping off my shirt and jeans, my costume appearing on my body before I even reached down to pull up my shirt over my head.

I pulled up the mask, crouched, and the ground beneath my feet exploded.

"Houston Smash!"

I flew into the sky like a rocket, my lungs straining as the thin air refused to give me enough oxygen to be comfortable. Luckily, breathing was merely a luxury for my body and unnecessary as far as my body was concerned.

I turned to the South East and saw plumes of flame and heard the 'daka' of guns going off.

Wade! Get off your ass! You killed Oni Lee, so this shit's half your fault!

 _I can fucking see that! Been surfing the news and keeping an eye out all day since you left for school in case ABB pulled something crazy! I'm practically there and waiting for you to drop!_

Why the hell is Lung attacking E88 shit? He should be on the back foot because without Oni Lee, he can't effectively defend his territory. Hell, suicide-clone ninja-man was probably the ONLY reason why nobody made a push for his shit!

 _You know, I think he might be, I don't know, maybe just so beyond the point of fury that he doesn't care? Or it's BECAUSE he can't defend he needs to attack so prove that he shouldn't be fucked with? Or maybe he straight up is just acting as a huge target to draw the PRT to him so some mercs or grunts can break out Oni Lee? Might wanna make sure Panacea is properly protected if he pulls this shit off. As far as I know the two of you are the only public healers who can return him to normal. I left that bitch one foot in the grave. Literally._

He ain't pullin' off shit!

I launched myself in the direction of the fight, vaulting further toward the scene of battle. Once. Twice.

Lung had ramped up a good amount and while it was hard to tell, he was still at least three times as wide as anybody I could see below. I focused briefly on the senses of Deadpool below. Flashes of light danced across his form, bullets impacting and screeching against metal scales, as Lung lumbered about tossing people left and right. He stopped and turned to the E88 beginning (though both accent and some sort of mouth disability) to monologue sounded like he was trying to call somebody out to fight him.

So then I punched the air above me and using Vector Push to begin forcing myself down like a meteor.

Emphasis on Meteor.

"ARRRRIIIIIZOOOOOONNNNNNAAAAAAAA-" I roared as I brought down the MOTHER of all diving elbow drops down "SMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!"

Right on top of Lung's neck like a human atomic bomb. Well, more like where the neck meets body and more on the shoulder side. Look, you try to aim from hundreds of feet up on the air.

A screech wrenching metal masked my teeth-gritting scream of utter pain (mixed with the bones in my arm shattering) and Lung's own crackling bones as the metal scales on the back of Lung's neck fractured before scattering into a thousand hot shrapnel fragments.

I ignored the utter PAIN that was my nearly liquefied (or so it felt) arm as I felt the ground crumble as the cement crumpled into a crater as mass itself desperately tried to compress upon itself.

 _Ok. I didn't word that well. That wasn't a drop. That was an execution. OH THE HUMANITY!_

Shut up. Not right now. ARM HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH!

 _Yeah, I CAN FEEL THAT TOO, YOU FUCKING RETARD! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M YELLING?!_

Lung was growing faster now, quickly growing bigger than his already ten feet tall stature (although he was slumped over on the ground), but that didn't matter because his neck was broken (maybe? hopefully?) at the moment. Even with his regeneration it would take a while for him to recover from that blow. Especially if the pain would knock him unconscious.

Really hoping for unconscious.

That's when I felt it. Lung's shard extended out to me like a torrent of flame, desperate and desiring. It **flowed** around my Negentropic flames, coalescing into condensed fragments almost instantly as it hungered to be a part of my power.

Demanding. Vicious. Greedy. **HUNGRY**.

My arm cracked and crackled, shattering the silence as it twisted and healed back to perfection.

My body fought off the urge to shift into a divine creature. Lung didn't turn into a dragon because that was his power. He turned into one because that was what he was most compatible with.

Cosmetic Shapeshift screamed that I must stay human in appearance.

"Now." I turned to the E88 members who had stopped shooting Lung after I landed. My uninjured arm pat off the bits of flame on my suit. (it was merely flame retarding, not flame proof) "Put down your weapons and you will not be harmed."

Lung's [ **Ascension of Divine Embodiment** ] demanded that yet I must transform.

I cracked my neck and dozens of guns clattered to the ground.

I could feel my biology rippling beneath my skin. The transformation remained below skin as even I had no idea what I was becoming.

I had to end this fast.

"Good, now. You will surrender yourselves t-" I stopped as a pair of katanas blocked a pair of sharp blades aimed at my carotid arteries from the back. Why did a Nazi use Japanese kamas again?

 _They borrow everything from other cultures but claim that their race is best. Hypocrites, remember?_

Just get her off me. How dare this mere **mongrel** bite towards me?!

"You know, this wasn't exactly how I thought I'd meet Brockton Bay's newest golden boy." Deadpool said as he lashed out with a kick, catching Cricket in the nose, forcing her back as her own power silenced the sickening crack of her nose shattering. "Was thinking more along the lines of you rescuing me out of a tree."

 _Dude, I don't like what Lung's power is doing to us._

"I'm not sure if rescuing deadly mercenaries from trees was considered a public service." I played along. "But I'll be sure to put you pick you up properly by the scruff of your neck if I do."

Neither do I. Let's put down this rabble quickly. I have no need for such unruly snakes. **Crush** them beneath your boots.

"Kinky! Is that a promise?"

 _Yeah. Not liking this at all._

Cricket backed off silently as a tall man wearing a black leather Nazi officer like uniform, with a red armband and a black peaked cap that both bore the E88 symbol, walked out the door, a white, featureless mask hiding the whole of his face.

"I will admit. This was not what I expected." He spoke with a drawl, like one of those drawls that snobs who grew up with a silver spoon in their mouths and loved to rub that fact in the faces of others had, "But this can work out just fine. I am Krieg of the Empire 88. All Might, you shall leave, leaving Lung and that... Deadpool... behind, and we shall have no further quarrel. I am sure that you share the desire to limit bloodshed and violence, judging from your... surgical removal of Lung from the equation."

 _Wow. He's fucking terrified of you if he's just asking you to leave. Heh. Too bad he's a Nazi and needs to die, eh Blascwoicz?_

Shut up, you ain't Fergus. Even with the Irish accent. Also, REALLY do let that Wolfenstein joke die. It's unbecoming of an iteration of me.

 _May I point out we have ACTUAL Nazis LIVING AND BREATHING on AMERICAN soil?! They need to die._

I rolled my eyes mentally as I stared at Krieg.

"I think there's one thing that you don't understand, **villain**." I stepped forwards, eyes shining in every spectrum of light as my foot cracked the pavement, "I did not come here to save your ass from a dragon."

"I came here to **crush** an Empire. The dragon I slew at it's borders is merely a **footnote**. And history will remember... it was one of your own that went in for the kill first." I gestured to the news cameras around us. Two news choppers hovered about and there was a news team on the ground as well. "Know that you gave up all hope for mercy this day. And thus another Reich **falls**."

Krieg cursed under his breath, my ears barely catching something vaguely German, before screaming out "GET THE CHINK!"

"Really? That's the best warcry they've got?" Deadpool laughed as the Nazis scrambled to pick up their dropped weapons, "Fuck, this is actually disappointing."

He BAMF'ed behind Cricket and shot out her knees before she could react with a pair of 1911's. Using deagles against someone of her powers was just asking for more people to complain about shit, even if we weren't trying to blow her legs off, just debilitate her. . Never mind that she's a fucking SUPER VILLAIN that just tried to assassinate one of their heroes. Stupid media sheep.

It would also be annoying especially since Deadpool was being seen publicly with me at the moment. If PRT caused any shit it would be over him. And use him as a bridge to attack me.

"And they just FORGOT me?! You forget Deadpool, YOU PAY THE PRICE! I'ma go EA on your broke asses!" Deadpool began BAMF'ing from Nazi to Nazi, shooting out elbows, knees, and groins (the sick bastard). "Time for the medical fee equivalent of PAID DLC MOTHERFUCKERS!"

I (rolling my eyes) dashed forwards (ignoring the full metal jacket rifle rounds barely breaking skin and flattening against my thickened, denser proto-entity muscle fibers, feeling like a bunch of needles being tossed at me), driving a flying knee kick into Krieg's chest. It was like the air turned to molasses around me as his [ **Kinetic Alteration Of Lesser Vectors** ] tried to alter my path to him, but it was futile. Power Hub gave me enough ability to disrupt his effort to force me in a different direction, even if he managed to slowed me down.

You know, from a hyper-sonic jet to a regular jet.

These mongrels weren't even enough for Lung's quarter strength power to recognize as a threat. The only reason it burned was because Lung was still behind me, growing as his shard desperately tried to heal up 'The Dragon of Kyushu'.

It certainly wasn't enough to kill the man, but it flung Krieg back through the doors he walked out of, sending splinters of wood everywhere as it broke off its hinges and cracked at the point of impact.

The Nazis all turned their guns to me, shock evident in their eyes.

It didn't matter. My arm had already been cocked back.

"DETROIT" I used my whole body, throwing an overhead punch that flew at the ground as I bent my torso over, "SMASH!"

Air rushed from the point that my fist nearly grazed the pavement, spreading in all directions as an incredible updraft formed. The E88 members who had been standing outside the building, cowering behind sandbags (of all fucking things, did they think themselves a military force?) were flung wildly into the air. The news choppers in the air were just far enough out of the draft to not be tossed about wildly, but they did have to readjust for the huge wind washing over them. The choppers ended up wobbling in the sky like ripe apples on a tree, threatening to fall, but just barely held on.

That was good. I didn't need to bother saving them when there were mongrels to strike down.

"Ooh IT'S RAINING MEN! HALLELUJAH! Gonna get wet!" Deadpool sang, BAMF'ing about as he grabbed Nazis left and right and reappearing on the ground, slamming faces into the pavement, knocking them out. All the while grabbing free guns with childish glee. Honestly, it was like seeing a scene from a movie while blinking rapidly as he abused Schrodinger for a full third person perspective.

 _Oh don't you judge me. Tactical advantage is important._

But you don't think maybe having FOUR extra sets of eyes looking at the battlefield aside from the two of us isn't maybe just a LITTLE overkill?

 _Hey, look, this shit saved my ASS against Oni Lee. I ain't risking that shit again. Getting shot in the head fucking sucks ass._

Tell me about it. I thought brain matter didn't have pain receptors, but I guess our biology isn't exactly normal.

 _I'm more upset that I got skullfucked by a man. THE FIRST TIME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SPECIAL! I barely knew him!_

I shook off that horrid image as I walked into the building and through a hole that went through three different walls. Krieg was lying in the shattered remains of what was once a nice mahogany office table, shakily trying to get back up onto his feet.

"You... you little fuck! You'll rue the day that-"

I picked him up my his neck, cutting him off, before I driving a fist into his solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him. Then I just turned and flung his body out of the building. His power gave him a Brute rating. He'd be fine.

His body flew out of the building and I figured Deadpool could wrap it up. Meanwhile, I supposed that-

Maybe less fine, considering that Deadpool took that as an invitation to make another baseball joke, an oak bat shattering as it made contact with Krieg's masked face as he flew out the busted doors.

I sighed as I walked back out. Like, what the hell? I just wanted to see what the hell Lung was attacking this building for. Is that too much to ask?

"AND WADE WILSON FROM REGINA, CANADA HITS THE GAME WINNING PITCH! THE CROWD GOES WILD AS THE NAZIS GO DOWN IN A PERFECT GAME BY THE LOCAL HEROES!" He ran in a small diamond formation as he scattered confetti into the air, "Women throw themselves all over him! They want his babies! They-"

I interrupted him by conking him on the back of the head with a karate chop.

"Ok, that's enough. They get it. You hit a Nazi like a baseball. That's the most American thing that you can do outside of eating apple pie while watching fireworks."

A shuddering cough came from Krieg's limp body (geez he was needlessly tough) as he spit out blood and parts of his ceramic mask.

 _And teeth. Definitely teeth. Like all his front teeth PFT._

"K...Kaiser wull make 'oo suhher for dis." He spat out turning up to glare at me, only one eye still covered in part by his shattered mask. "Oo'll die derribl-"

His threats were cut off as a roar of primal fury washed over us, going as far as to send Krieg's limp body rolling away as Deadpool and I dug our feet in to prevent ourselves being carried away by the wind-force.

"Ooh dat's a big boy... I'll, uh, get the Nazi's out of the way before they roast into bratwurst. You got this?" Deadpool's eyes didn't leave the ACTUAL DRAGON in front of us, his arm sort of flopping uselessly as he reached blindly for my shoulder.

 _Like, I can give you support if you need it. I think his Shard took ALL of its power and forced him to regenerate the broken neck at max speed. I'm pretty sure his regeneration isn't supposed to be as good as ours. Just, you know, you're free to fight that thing. Without me._

Just get the Nazis out of the fight and zip-tie them up properly. Knock Krieg out so that he can't escape.

 _Roger, capt'n!_

I gave him a nod, not needing to look in his direction. Deadpool just gave me a slightly cartoony jerk of a salute before BAMF'ing off.

The metal neck looked slightly crooked and twisted, but the now twenty-ish foot tall Lung was standing back up, albeit a tad shakily. His eyes glowed like molten steel as they didn't leave my form for a second.

"Ah iive oo' one hance All Igh. Urk or ee' an'-"

I held up my hand.

"Firstly, I honestly have no idea what you're saying. Secondly." My legs shifted as I readied myself into a fighting stance, "I do not talk with monsters. **I destroy them**."

Lung angrily burst into flame like a twisted steel colossus in a firestorm. Power Hub's reduced version of Lung's power flared up almost painfully. **A worthy challenge!**

"Time for Endbringer practice." I muttered to myself. "And to **put a lizard in it's place**."

Lung lunged forward only to be surprised that I rocketed forwards at him.

"HOUSTON SMASH!" Twin fists crushed steel scales as they dug into Lung's sternum as I crashed into him in a Superman pose. The force of it all blew his aura of flame away as his body lifted into the air a few feet.

A clawed hand wrapped around me, squeezing my torso and cutting through the skin of my back. As I was lifted, Lung's intent obviously to throw or smash me into the ground, I quickly drove my elbows down into the metal covered flesh between his thumb and index finger thrice in quick succession, using his own grip for leveraging. The pain forced the hand open as I hopped out.

We both made contact with the ground at the same time.

Lung used his newfound traction to spin around as his tail whipped about like a bladed whip. I grunted (felt like being hit by a wrecking ball) as I caught it, my feet leaving small trenches in the ground as I slid back from the impact. I wrapped my arms around the spiky tail for better grip, nearly crushing it with my body.

Wrong choice, fucker. Seems you've never played Super Mario 64!

"OAAAKLLAAAAHOOOOOMMMMAAAAA" I roared as I began spinning Lung around, my muscles straining in effort as I dragged his clawed feet across pavement before I gained enough force to lift Lung with pure centrifugal force. I don't think even HE thought it was possible, or he'd have fought properly for traction. It was too late for regrets, however as I began spinning him like a distorted Beyblade. Then I let go, sending him flying into the E88 building, "SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSH!"

A roar verging on a squawk of sheer confusion (and perhaps slight disorientation) ensued as Lung crashed into the three story brick building, bringing it down on top of him.

Dust scattered everywhere as Lung was buried under rubble.

There was a moment of silence as every pair of eyes stared at the ruined wreckage of a building, every single fiber of every single person praying for the same wish.

Steam began to jut out from the crevices, the mound of rock and rubble rising and falling as Lung furiously began digging out.

Because in a world of parasitic pseudo-divine space whales, God was certainly dead.

" **AAAAH 'ILLL OOOOOO** " Lung roared, AND HE GREW A SECOND PAIR OF ARMS?! FUCKING SINCE WHEN?!

For a lumbering metal dragon, Lung was fast as he tore up concrete to reach me, an arm coming down to slash me into ribbons.

"MISSOURI SMASH!" I brought down my hand in a chopping motion tearing through Lung's claws perpendicularly, making him screech in pain as I tore through not just claws, but the fingers as well.

Three other hands clenched instead, unwilling to risk further dismemberment, flying at me like bladed boulders.

But he wasn't the only one that was ramping up from the fight. And my baseline power was **much** more greater than his own.

The air itself shook as my fists met Lung's, like little shockwaves. While he had more fists than I did, I had more force.

Every swing of his was repelled back with a heavy punch, the blows shattered claws, cracked fingers, impact spread up his arm and sent loosened scales and ichor flying as his flesh tore.

And between his punches...

"Carolina Smash! CAROLINA SMASH! **CAROLINA SMASH!** "

My hands crossed like twin blades as they slashed through the metal scales, then flesh and bone, then JUST bone. My hand thrust forward into-

A burning arm covered in spiked steel lashed out alongside a roar of pain and fear. The air was knocked out of my lungs, but **I never needed that breath**. I tumbled back, my feet and hand digging into the asphalt trying to slow myself down. Then I looked up.

Lung roared covering me with flame, the fire rushing down into the empty street, licking and scorching the buildings down the road. The asphalt bubbled. A fire hyrant began to melt before a burst of water and steam fired outwards at an odd angle, cutting through a thin, young tree that was being burnt into charcoal. His flame stuck to everything like napalm and I'm sure that he must have thought me dead. That I could only compete with him in pure force and had been brute forcing my way through the fire and flames.

Lung held his chest and backed up laughing (or was it barking?) in victory. Being satisfied in victory without seeing the corpse of his enemy with his own eyes? **How naive**.

I burst up out of the flame, the suit melting off my body, "TENNASEE!" I spun around and delivered a flying spinning kick to Lung's fucking face, "SMAAAASH!"

The impact split his metal mask in two as Lung was flung to the side head first, body crashing over as he fell to the side.

Four grotesque metal wings began to try to unfurl from his back to right himself as flames licked his form, the tarmac beneath his clawed feet softened from the flame as his feet sank into the ground like if he was walking through mud.

The only thing I saw were four sails.

"TEXAASSS SMAAAAAASH!"

A roar of anger and pain cried out Lung's wings caught the draft and the joints of his wings locked due to the wind pressure, sending him flying.

I panted, my feet slipping as the tarmac tried go goop between my toes as I ran, following up with another Texas Smash to keep Lung juggled in the air, his wings screeching against the scales of his back as he tried desperately to shut them.

Lung usually never needed his wings because most foes never needed him to grow big enough that they were a part of him.

"TEXAS SMASH!"

And then he had never properly used them as anything but distractions and additional attacking limbs.

"TEXAS SMASH!"

I mean, why would he use them for anything else? He was normally too heavy to fly. There was no natural updraft outside of small tornadoes that could even lift him off the ground.

"TEXAS SMASH!"

His one bit of inexperience was exactly the advantage that I needed to win.

I leaped into the air, leaping higher than Lung was being forced to glide. I saw it then. My win condition. The very bay this city was named after.

"And thus Siegfried slew the dragon Fafnir..." I began somersaulting forwards, gaining velocity.

"CALIIIIIIIIFOOOOOOORNIIIIIIAAAAAAA" the final somersault ended with a single full powered overhead punch. Seven fragments converged and exploded as Vector Push's 2nd Trigger activated, the flame warping into a way that none of my powered ever had before.

The flood of flame from Lung's Shard still screamed to join my own. A desperate cry of hunger and desire. I grit my teeth as power flooded my very veins.

My fist crashed into the barely healed torso where my Carolina Smash cross-chops had cut into his torso mere seconds ago. The yet wounded flesh, scales, and bone gave way.

" **SMAAAAAAASSSHHHHHH!** "

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN2: This... got out of hand. This got very out of hand. And the problem is that it's too enjoyable for me to fix. I'ma just leave it as is.

Let's just see how this goes.

Come find me on Pat reon to support your local Dragon Slaying Ham Might.


	16. Dragon-Slaying Comes With Consequences

AN: No, the mongrel thing isn't permanent. It's just Lung's power affecting SI. Once Lung is outside of Power Hub's vicinity, it will stop affecting the SI again. However Lung was always kind of an important character and his Shard is pretty special in Worm, so time for a flood of Entropy Fragments, boyos.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

I hit the ocean mere moments after Lung, as I leapt in after him.

The water should have been freezing at this time of year, but to me it was merely lukewarm. Maybe a tad on the warm side actually.

Lung was just a superhot chunk of steel after all.

Sharp, serrated teeth locked around my ribs, breaking skin and trying to shred though my flesh. I cocked my arm back and lashed a spear hand strike, digging into the soft gelatinous eye of Lung. His roared as he bit down harder. Still the flesh under my skin refused to yield, like some sort of thick rubber, as the teeth could not pierce as deeply as they should have.

My elbows swung down, beginning to performing amateur dental work to Lung's teeth. Blood streamed from us in red rivulets, twisting through the salt water like crimson ribbons as Lung dragged me down further into the depths.

I grinned (or grinned harder. I hadn't noticed when the smile had appeared on my face.) as Lung fell for my ploy. I bashed wildly at Lung's face waiting for another opportunity to strike at Lung's other eye.

Regeneration's 2nd Trigger allowed me to survive without breathing. While Lung had a MASSIVE lung capacity (pun intended) in his transformed state, it would run out eventually.

I thrashed as to give the appearance that I was struggling and in need of oxygen. The one eye closest to me had been blinded, it's inability to see my face or the fact that there was very few bubbles leaving my mouth helped strengthen the illusion that I needed oxygen.

As Lung dove deeper, I broke more teeth, not fighting the clamping from the jaws of the dragon, selling the idea that I was indeed panicking. That while I fought I was slowly but surely running out of air.

Minutes passed as Lung and I just PUNCHED the crap out of each other under water. I made sure to weaken my blows more and more as time went on, taking more blows and blocking less effectively.

It hurt as Lung certainly didn't weaken his blows, but eventually he seemed to determine that I was near passing out and on my last legs as he seemed to slowly begin rising back up towards the surface of the water so that he could leave the moment I drowned.

Hopefully that meant that he was nearly out of air as well. Even though he had crazy lung capacity, Lung was still growing slowly but surely, but that just meant that his oxygen consumption just increased while not taking in more air.

So I shoved my hand into his eyes again and PUNCHED HARDER.

Lung screamed silently as his jaw cracked under my fist, jets of boiling hot air leaving his lungs.

As a dragon (or as a reptile, maybe) Lung's jaw had been locked shut like a vice until now. While my fist cracking the lizard's lower jaw freed me, it meant that now I had to hold onto Lung and keep him under.

My other hand dug into the flesh of his bloody gums, my legs thrusting as Vector Push forced us deeper underwater as Lung screamed out in indignation futilely.

Saltwater and blood flowed over my teeth (when had I begun smiling? I couldn't remember) as I punched Lung in his nose again. And again. And again. All the while taking furious scratches and blows, as claws scraped and tore skin, as fists pummeled seeking the crack and shatter bone.

I was tired. My body screamed that it was nearing my limit, Peak Condition be damned. The only thing keeping me holding on was Lung's power (diluted as it was) as it ironically screamed at me to kill it's host.

It felt like an eternity as Lung slowly began growing sluggish. His body was still hot as a furnace, sending the seawater into a boiling roil.

Lung's arms wrapped around me desperate to tear me off. I swung myself around as I avoided the clawed hands, twisting his neck and forcing Lung to twist and turn blindly underwater as I kicked into his other eye, blinding him fully.

Just drown already! I dragged Lung deeper into the ocean like a human shaped anchor.

Lung was too dense to leave the depths while I was pulling him back.

His wings flapped madly, causing the water to churn as he tried to inch upwards for air.

Drown.

I was having none of it.

Drown!

I kicked my legs with Vector Push and we sank like rocks, negating all of Lung's desperate effort.

 **Drown!**

I waited an extra ten minutes at the bottom of the ocean floor to make sure that Lung had properly drowned.

* * *

POV: Armsmaster

It was glittering silver scales that broke water.

A large steel mass shone in the air as it broke free from the water's surface like a twisted parody of Free Willy.

But it was a pair of very human feet that landed on the concrete with a wet slap. The cement then cracked under the weight of the drowned dragon on his back.

Too much weight. Too small of a surface area.

Like a scene from myth, the dragon was lifted up into the air like a massive trophy, bloody and limp, as a tall young man with eyes made from galaxies smiled, perfect ivory teeth shining, as he gave a triumphant cry.

" _ **I! AM! HERE!**_ "

My eyes narrowed in contempt. As if he hadn't already goaded this city's criminal elements enough.

"... _For I am here..._ " Dragon, who had contacted me the moment Lung's fight with All Might had been broadcasting live, whispered to herself.

"Dragon?" I asked, "Are you ok?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I just found it odd. All Might was smiling from before the moment he left water." Dragon observed from my powersuit's HUD and videofeed. "I'm hoping that it's not a case of battle-lust. I don't think that it would be good for the city at all if that's the case. Lung's current size also approximates with his size when he first fought Leviathan in Japan. That is... concerning just as much as it is a positive trade for us."

"Kid's a loose cannon with too much firepower." I snorted as my helmet replayed the scene that BBNN caught of the Case 53 dropping down on Lung with an elbow drop that instantly took the villain out of commission. "Too much of a showoff too. That's a bad combination."

"He's still young." Dragon reminded, "And young men are naturally a little brash. Rather, that kind of boyish boldness is actually a bit charming, isn't it? At least it's obvious that he's trying to do good, even if he's going about it too hard."

She paused as All Might dropped the body of Lung. Steel scales scraped against the concrete docks as the heavy body of Lung thumped onto it, lifeless and limp.

"Still, why is Lung still so big? Did All Might outlast Lung's lung capacity underwater and drowned him? If so, it's remarkable. They were underwater for so long. I wonder if his regenerative power compensated for the lack of oxygen. Or if it was his healing ability." She mused, "Either way, having a hero with the ability to last extended periods of time without oxygen can be very effective. If it wasn't for the fact that his ability to heal is more important, he might have been a good counter against Leviathan one day."

I grunted as I turned to the flashing of cameras.

"Tsk. I thought we sent down orders for the troopers to set up a perimeter further away. I don't think the kid's even noticed that most of his costume was melted away from when Lung torched North 12th Street. I'm sure half the town knows what his face looks like at this point, but we should still minimize leaks of his face." I sighed before tuning into the PRT Console's frequency. "Armsmaster to command. Independent Cape Designation All Might has been verified as alive. In addendum, Lung is down. I repeat. Lung is down. Over."

"Command to Armsmaster." The response was quick. "We will verify then send out additional command. Please stand by."

"Damn kid's changing too much too quickly." I muttered after turning off my mic from the open line, "God knows how the gang's will react to this."

"Based on the standard behavioral patterns of Brockton Bay's criminal elements, there shouldn't be any rash actions for the rest of today, although small skirmishes will definitely occur. The E88 will likely attempt to fill the power vacuum after they make an attempt to free Krieg. However, his capture is a big slap to the face of the E88 and his release will be one of their higher priorities. The longer he is within our custody, the longer he becomes a liability after all. Observation states that Mush has next to no desire to lead the Merchants to action ever since their failure to break out Skidmark from PRT custody and the... disappearance... of Squealer. The ABB has been effectively dismantled, so their territories will likely become absorbed, but I believe the gangs will be on their heels." Dragon predicted, contemplation laced her voice, "All eyes will be on All Might and his actions for a while. We should ensure extra security detail around the Heberts. They currently are our securest ties to All Might. Perhaps we should delegate more work opportunities to the Dockworker's Union. Gaining Danny Hebert's cooperation may be key in getting young Joe to join the Protectorate."

I grit my teeth.

The whole town's been turning on its head since this kid showed up. If he had kept his head down for a few months I could have finished the tranquilizer that I had been developing to put Lung down for good. Sure as hell would have had a lot less damage to the city with that over what had happened today.

It was increasingly irksome as Lung was an issue that the PRT should have been seen dealing with rather than an independent factor.

"Armsmaster? This is Piggot. Do you read?"

I resisted the urge to sigh as I flicked the mic back on.

"Affirmative."

"Deadpool got away. Miss Militia and Velocity were unable to capture him, even with Vista's support. It seems his teleportation ability was purposefully undermined by the footage of his battle with Oni Lee. He also left with the remains of Lung's mask. Is there anything in your arsenal that can be used to track him down?"

"How? Deadpool is dangerous, but he's got all the seriousness of a clown. If we got the drop on him, then he shouldn't have been able to get away." I growled as I watched as some PRT Troopers approached All Might with a blanket, allowing him to properly cover up.

He didn't bother trying to hide his face at all. I guess he just presumed it was pointless at that point. Better for us. Gives us more to leverage with him by offering him and his current surrogate 'family' proper protection.

"That's what I want to know." Piggot snorted angrily. I could already imagine her red face, pen tapping on her desk furiously. "I had Miss Militia try to snipe him before we trapped him in containment foam. But it's like he saw the bullet coming and teleported away just as she pulled the trigger. Our Thinkers are speculating that his teleportation power must provide a minor Thinker level awareness of everything within his teleportation range so that he doesn't appear inside of a wall or person. It would explain how he got the drop on Velocity and trapped him in an alleyway when he was giving chase. Deadpool dropped enough caltrops to drown a cow in and Velocity literally couldn't walk out of there without hurting himself."

"Ugh. We're rid of Oni Lee, but then gain another teleporting psychopath. Another damn day in Brockton Bay." I heard Assault chime in from the headset. "Battery and I lost sight of him too. There's no way we can track him down now, I guess. At least we've got Krieg, Cricket, and Lung in custody now. How are things over there with big and ugly over there? I'm hearing that Lung's over thirty-five feet tall over there, but I'm not hearing any property damage. What's going on?"

"There's no property damage because Lung's dead." I replied. "All Might drowned him like a giant cat. Seem's Lung doesn't revert back to his human state if he died mid-transformation."

This was both a good and bad thing. On one hand, we just lost Endbringer fighting potential. On the other hand, All Might beat Lung in a pure strength contest AND proved that he could last for upwards a half hour without air.

If it wasn't for the fact that we could pressure him into joining the Protectorate using the fact that he caused a cape's death, this would have been only negatives.

"Wait, I was told that Lung is down, but that could mean a hell of a lot of things. Lung's DEAD?!"

I winced as Assault's near screech of incredulity almost deafened me.

"My sensors are showing that Lung isn't breathing. I assume his lungs are so waterlogged that he drowned while fighting All Might in the water. Probably why he forced Lung into the ocean in the first place. Something isn't right about that kid. He knows how his powers work too well for a Case 53." I reported matter of factually.

"What he IS is irrelevant. All Might's fight with Lung is already national news and we've been unsuccessful in preventing the BBNN news choppers from releasing real time footage of their fight. The world knows that All Might just came out on top and the footage all but confirms to anybody with a brain that Lung died in the confrontation. A forty foot dragon corpse isn't exactly discreet." Piggot stated, the annoyance clear in her voice. "I've just gotten a call from Chief Director Costa-Brown that we are to attempt to invite All Might into the Protectorate peacefully at all costs. If that cannot be possible, we must not allow him to become an antagonistic force in Brockton Bay. He's too valuable both as a healer and as a combatant to lose."

The frustration in her voice was almost palpable.

"Invite All Might to the PRT... no, to the Rig for a chat. Tell him I want to thank him personally for minimizing damage and have some questions about the fight. Also that we can help with protecting his civilian identity. Whatever it takes to get his attention without being threatening. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Director." My voice overlapped with a few others.

I sighed.

"It'll be ok, Collin." Dragon reassured me, her voice was both comfort and a kindness, "Young Joe might be a little too eager for our tastes, but he's a young man with a lot of kindness. The footage you shared with me about the Squealer court case proves as much. Everything will turn out alright."

I hoped she was right. Nano-thorn technology used against a monstrous dragon was one thing, but using it against a human form would be distasteful.

And if I ever had to take All Might down, I would need that kind of firepower.

* * *

I smiled confidently. Because the illusion that I was in control and knew WHAT THE FUCK I was doing was pretty much the only option I had at the moment. Confidence (or the illusion of) was everything. Especially in a situation like mine.

Of course my mask burned off from Lung's fire. I didn't have Quality Assurance (I HAD enough spare shards BEFORE the fight with Lung, but I held onto them because I was concerned I'd need them for something else) and it was too late to regret what had already happened.

Still I should have remembered that, you know, LUNG TURNS INTO A FUCKING DRAGON AND BREATHES FIRE. And while I was fireproof, my suit wasn't.

God I'm stupid.

 _And now all of America probably knows your face. I'm at base with Rider and she's worried off her ass about your face getting exposed. Also blindfolded Rune and brought her here for her own safety. It's pretty easy to find our apartment after all, and we don't want to be found with a known missing villain in our living room._

Yeah, thanks for that. That and, you know, sending four ninja-pools to keep an eye on Danny and Taylor. If any villain decided to work fast we'd be in some trouble. Especially if somebody like Coil decided that I needed a leash.

 _Just make sure that things don't get fucked any more than it already is. I'm gonna help Rider get her Stratos prototype combat ready so we'll have the extra firepower. I'd ask for you to 2nd Trigger Cosmetic Shapeshift so that I could have a civ appearance and make it easier to transport stuff from the Auto-Forge, but we're gonna need the Entropy Fragments for something else now. Especially with ABB headless._

I acknowledged Wade's input as I waved more (with a smile) at the crowd of flashing cameras in the distance, what was I even doing anymore? Lung's shard was the first to ever have a power that could actually influence my personal behavior and overrode my common sense and fight or flight response. It made me fight like a crazed berserker worthy of a Nasuverse Servant. And because of it I just declared war against the E88 without having properly planned it out beforehand and just dismantled the ABB by killing Lung.

Dismantled a gang that ruled pretty much half of the criminal elements of this whole fucking city. By cutting off the head and leaving a vacuum for the other fucking criminal elements to fill. Inside AND out.

Fuck.

This is a world full of superpowered criminal gangs and I was still one guy that couldn't (publicly) be in more than one place at once. Fuck. And I didn't have enough powers that I could just BE my own Cape Soccer team. FUCK!

I can't grow fast enough for how much fucking mayhem I'm causing!

I had to move fast. I needed to something.

But what?

"All Might." Armsmaster, fully clad in blue power-armor, approached me with a nod. "Do you mind if you answer a few questions for us? There's something we want to know about the... confrontation today. And to discuss how to assist you now that your civilian identity has no doubt become very public knowledge."

I chuckled weakly as I scratched my head.

"Yeah, uh. I honestly appreciate that, but I think no matter what we do it's pretty much too late. And I have no intention of leaving Brockton Bay even if that means I get a little more privacy." I stretched and cracked my neck, "Agh. I'm sore all over. There's still something that I have to do. Do you mind if I swing by later?"

Armsmaster grit his teeth, a sound that I could only hear due to Peak Condition enhancing all of my senses to incredible amounts, and I'm sure that whatever order he was picking up from his headset, he didn't like.

"That should be doable. Tomorrow's a Saturday and not a school day. Would that be fine?" Armsmaster asked, outstretching his hand for what to all the world must have been a friendly handshake.

Ah. Cameras on us. PR thing.

I smiled widely as I grasped his hand and shook it up and down happily without hesitation as cameras flashed.

Right now, I had to make myself untouchable. Or as untouchable as possible. I had to give them their positive PR. To protect what I wanted to, I needed them on my side, rather than against me.

They'd probably twist this into some story about a coordinated assault that allowed me to come in like a superpowered Hulk Hogan and remove Lung from endangering the city and they could eat and choke on that lie-cake for all I gave a shit for. I certainly wouldn't refute anything unless they made me look bad. Hell, PRT tried to claim credit for the villains taking down Bakuda-fest in canon (I think?) so I'm certain that they'd try something similar here.

The only reason I'd get credit at all was because there's probably too much live footage of me kicking Lung's ass.

I gave another wave and smile to the crowd before leaping off and away.

Flying through the sky with nothing but a large rescue blanket covering my lower body... there was something so wrong with this situation.

I sighed as I pulled my personal phone out of Pocket Dimension.

It immediately blared and vibrated as a half a dozen voicemails and text messages appeared as the cell phone re-entered a dimension where cell phone reception actually existed.

I sent a quick few messages stating that everything was ok to Rookwood before I sucked it up and made the call that instinctively dreaded.

"OH MY GOD JOE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

I winced as Taylor's voice blasted my eardrums.

"I'm half deaf in one ear now, that's something wrong with me."

"Don't you give me lip, buster!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Wait how's the phone... nevermind that's not important. What's important is that YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND! THAT WAS LUNG! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!"

"Taylor, I-"

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO! PRT would have been there in a few minutes! WHY DID YOU GO?! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!"

Ah. Hysterical teenage girls. I haven't dealt with these since my old exes and my baby sister.

"Taylor, deep breaths, just-"

"SCREW YOUR DEEP BREATHS!"

I winced as Taylor's scream of impotent rage rang clearly from my phone. It was then followed by a muffled 'flump' as if the phone was thrown at some pillow or couch as I made another leap as I made my way back to my apartment so that I could put on some clothes without flagging any more potential alarms.

I waited patiently, phone to ear, as I jumped some more.

"..lo. Hello? Joe, it's me Danny."

"Hey Danny. Guessing Taylor's too mad for words right now?"

"Something like that." Danny gave a weak laugh, "We, uh, saw you on the news. Taylor almost had a heart attack watching the fight and... She... didn't take it well. And I may kind of need your help."

"What do you mean you need my... did somebody attack you?! Shit! I'm on my way! Where are-"

"No! No, nobody attacked anybody! We're fine. I... _please_. Just... help me. I don't know what to do. You're the only cape I know."

"What do you..." I landed on top of the nearest building, ignoring the fact that I was still barefoot and the rooftop was dirty as hell. "What does me being a cape have to do with anything right now?"

Danny sighed from the phone.

"You washing up on the docks was... actually something I think we needed. Things haven't been well for us for a while. As crazy as it sounds, things have been a little closer to normal with you around..." Danny poured his heart out to me and I just felt a bit of awkward (and might have, admittedly, zoned out a little bit as I got lost in thought). I had just been happy to be hanging out with the Heberts and didn't really understand the whole picture. All I knew is that the mother in the family had passed in an accident from fanon and as close as I had gotten to the Heberts in the past week, my insecure subconscious kept screaming that I was a stranger to these good people. "...so when we saw Lung set the whole street on fire and you didn't jump out immediately or, you know, _TELL US_ you can survive being a human torch, we made the only assumption anybody COULD have made in that situation."

"...Oh no."

I had gotten close to a girl who was being severely bullied for a year, by her former best friend, no less. My own depression had taught me just how much one person giving a damn about you could make you feel like you were actually fucking alive again. I went out of my way to hang out with her and be her friend as I put a stop-gap to her bullying problems. I helped her dad, protected his workplace, and was helping pay her family's bills. I was, quite literally, her personal hero. A good looking, fit guy that was close to her age and actually cared a lot about her (who I was treating like a little sister, but was genuinely beginning to be a bit concerned she was developing a crush on me) just went out on national television and got TORCHED by a LITERAL DRAGON. And then drowned with one about two minutes later...

Fuck.

"Yeah. I don't know if it was the stress of that, or something else but... Taylor suddenly gained powers. I don't know what I'm supposed to do... I need your help." Danny pleaded.

I caused Taylor Hebert to Trigger.

Fuck.

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

AN2: Ruh-Roh. Criff-Rangar.

Fight VS Lung ended anticlimactically because let's be honest aside from knocking Lung out, drowning him to death was the only way to REALLY beat Lung. And to do the former you can't be doing that shit AFTER the man ramps up.


	17. Getting The Crew Together (Part 1)

AN: So... guess who's laptop broke? And had to rewrite the whole chapter and then get frustrated as he rewrote it over and over?

HI! IT'S ME! JOE! Fml fam XD

Updates are gonna slow down until I can get it fixed, but I hope to still feed your crave for Ham.

Halp me by following me on Pat reon

* * *

 **BEGIN**

* * *

"That... is the most angsty teenage thing I've **ever** seen."

And I had gone through depression during middle and high school.

"She... yeah. Pretty much. Can you please do something about it? I'm assuming you can do something about being underwater, right? Just like you can apparently drown Lung?"

Danny's eyes were both a mix of annoyance and pleading.

I sighed as I ruffled my hair.

"Look, the words 'I can survive being inside a volcano and I can't drown' isn't exactly something that comes up in a normal day to day conversation." I groaned. "I was just trying to get a good drop on Lung. It's hard to consider the fact that I had cameras on me when in the middle of a fight..."

I sighed again.

"I'm sorry, Danny. I... shit. I didn't mean to scare you or Taylor."

Danny slumped down as he leaned against the wall by the entrance to the basement.

"...I know. Look, just..."

I nodded.

I stepped forward, my feet plodded down the steps before sinking into wet water.

I could see Taylor curled up in a corner under the water. I stepped further down the stairs as I sank into the depths. The water level rose as I descended and soon I was fully under.

Actually, it was odd just how deep the basement was for a regular house in the suburbs... but then again this was a world with actual super-villains, so maybe it made sense?

My lungs filled with water and I fought the urge to choke. Last thing I wanted to do was give any more of a scare to Taylor.

Still getting your lungs waterlogged was something I was never going to be used to.

She was surrounded by deposits of crystalline ice that appeared as if incredibly large chunks of quartz had grown explosively away from her.

Strands of crystal hair fluttered about as if they weren't created from ice.

Taylor turned her head at me.

And it was unnerving. And eerily beautiful.

Because her whole body had turned into a sculpture of ice, transparent and clear, sans a light bluish hue. Like I had seen a Rule 63 Iceman, but with hair (and even her clothes) had turned into ice, fluttering (somehow) in the water. It was like I had stepped into a scene from Arthurian legend.

The Lady of the Lake.

If there was any breath in my lungs, I'm certain it would have caught.

She rose to her feet, slowly and shakily, not slowed by the viscosity of water at all, as if water was no different from air to her.

Oddly, her shoes were missing.

It was weird that you could see through her socks (now made of ice) and see her little ice toes under the thin ice-sock layer.

How did that even work? And why wasn't she wearing shoes?

Slender crystalline fingers reached out to pull at the wet cotton of the shirt I quickly grabbed from my flat. The cloth crinkled before frosting over, the thin layer of ice crawled slowly as-

Then she slapped me. Hard.

Problem was I was harder than she was.

"Ow! What is your jaw made of?" She shook her hand, obviously in a spot of pain.

I tanked punches from a dragon. It was more surprising that her ice body didnt crack.

First. How the fuck can I hear her underwater?

Second. HER TEARS ARE ICE TOO?! How the fuck is it rolling down her cheeks?!

I shook my head. That wasn't important.

I wiped away her tear, which while looking like ice, might have been closer to liquid nitrogen. Sure, it was cold, but only about as much as sticking a finger into a pint of ice cream that was left on the counter for an hour or so thanks to my Immunity power. Water crackled as it spread rapidly over my finger, freezing it over with spikes of ice.

Damn thing looked like I was one finger death punching snowmen for a living.

And for some reason, Taylor's face twisted into some emotion I couldn't recognize as she began tearing up further, throwing herself into my chest and sobbing.

Had I become a cosmic tear sponge for young women? This was becoming a reoccurring theme that I wasn't comfortable with. Especially if it was gonna start destroying shirts. I was pretty sure that my cheap t-shirt I grabbed from a Old Navy bargain bin wasn't gonna take to being frozen very well.

Still, I wrapped my arms around Taylor, patting her back soothingly, as she cried, her tears freezing up the water between us as she sobbed and hiccuped up words I couldn't recognize.

It was probably good that Danny got me to handle this instead of doing it himself. He'd probably turned into a human popsicle and died from the extreme cold, even if he wasn't underwater. And that wouldn't have been good for Taylor's psyche.

I honestly had no idea how I could hear her through the ice and water as clearly as if we were above ground. Her powers had something to do with it, I'm sure.

So to sate my curiosity, I focused on Power Sight so that I could look at Taylor's power.

And Power Sight showed me something insane.

It wasn't the gold of a Warrior Shard. Certainly not. Nor the dull purple-black of a Cauldron vial. Hopefully it wasn't (and probably wasn't) an Abbadon Shard.

Because if it was, it certainly wouldn't look like a small, swirling sun that looked suspiciously like an engorged Entropy Fragment. Or have a strand of flame made of cosmic gasses and stars connecting them to my very own Negentropic flame-essence.

Not revolving around it through Power Hub, but directly connected.

What the fuuuuuuuuuu...

The Entropy Shard (a tentative, temporary name) pulsed at my confusion like an over-eager puppy. The flow of flame between us swirled and pulsed with a thousand stars and cosmic powers.

Protect. Taylor. Scared. Protect. Important. Foreigner. Danger. Parasite. Denied. Consumed. Protect.

They weren't words, any more than they were feelings.

Don't ask how words like 'Taylor' translates into a feeling. It was weird. Like every thought and opinion I had of her blended into one and crammed into my heart, plus a few dozen additions that I couldn't even begin to describe or recognize. Each word-feel sent tingling ripples of... something... through my body. They rippled from my heart, reaching to the tips of my fingers and toes before rushing back.

What the hell...

I broke out of my confusion as I felt Taylor stir, the ice that had bonded me to her form shifted. It just seemed to move out of the way in a way that was more akin to wet sand rather than ice in defiance of the laws of physics as her porcelain smooth cheek brushed up against the ice. But aside from bending the laws of reality, they stayed perfectly frozen in place like regular ice otherwise. My shirt would have begun bobbing upwards awkwardly (like ice does) if they weren't also frozen to my actual skin as well.

"...you're crazy." She muttered grumpily, as if she had cried out most of her anger. "And stupid."

I didn't dare believe that so easily though. Women were never that kind to you when they were upset, whether they meant to or not.

I just nodded along, letting her rant it out.

I suppose a Shard (was it even a shard? It was BIGGER than a Shard, for one) from me bypassed Power Hub, it didn't allow the broken loophole of letting me gain a weaker version of Taylor's power. Probably because it was made from my Entropy Fragments (how many had that even cost?) and was still connected to me. Somehow. That and everything she could do was a power I could probably make with enough fragments.

"...you... are you even listening to me?" Taylor pouted as she pinched my cheeks, pulling them in two directions. "Youuuuuu-"

I interrupted her by picking her up like a sack of potatoes. Over my shoulder.

She made a very unladylike squawk as I turned and attempted to climb the stairs.

"Hey! Let me down!" She gave me an indignant struggle that consisted of her, in the definition of an exercise of futility, punching (read: massaging with the outside of her tiny fists) my back.

Then there was a rushing current that pushed me back towards the center of the room from the stairs.

My eyes widened as my toes (I wasn't wearing socks into water. Wet socks SUCK) reflexively gripped down on the (now surprisingly clean) basement floor. Of course in the end, no matter how strong I am overall, toes are just toes.

Even if they dug up little grooves in the epoxy that coated the cement floor as I was dragged backwards and deeper into the depths of the basement.

"Whoa!" Taylor gripped the back of my shirt (which wasn't frozen somehow, even though my front was still solid ice with Taylor's face imprinted on it) as she held herself in place as my grip jerked enough to make her lose balance.

I didn't want to accidentally hurt her, after all. She was currently made of ice (Changer? Not glass though. I can actually feel her coldness even with Immunity... How cold WAS she?) and while that was enough to be hard to damage for a normal human...

Well. I don't even think I have to explain further.

"I, uh, didn't realize I could do that." Taylor exclaimed. She seemed both fascinated and overwhelmed. "I mean, I just got these powers out of nowhere, so..."

I chuckled as I put her back down gently on her feet. Her Sun Shard (that felt more correct) glowed brightly as it drank in my presence. It was odd just how situational some of my powers could be. I could see her shard with Power Sight, but it required prompting. It wouldn't tell me Taylor's power unless I willed for it.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to properly explain how Taylor's powers work to her. I motioned to her to come upstairs with me, mimicking the fact that I couldn't speak underwater.

Hell, I actually tried speaking, letting water run over my vocal cords instead of air.

It was fucking weird as hell and on my end I could only hear the regular muffled mumbling sound that any normal person made when they attempted to speak underwater.

"Hey! I can hear you!" Taylor exclaimed, a smile on her face. Then looked confused. "I feel like... I can feel everything in the water though." Taylor let water swirl about in her palm, half forming into ice in her hand as it swirled about. "Like... it's an extension... no. Like I can... talk? With water? See with it?..."

"Well... This makes things a bit easier than I expected." I chuckled as I scratched the back of my head. "I'm not going to twist words or lie to you, so long story short, I can see powers. And know what they do. Don't tell PRT about that, by the way. I can't really help it, but it's a huge security risk to them. It's just better that they don't know. I could just... tell you."

Taylor nodded, tucking a drifting strand of crystalline hair that was crossing her face from the side behind her ear.

"That sounds great, actually. And I won't spill a word. Gosh, that would be terrifying for them if you could know at a glance whether or not someone was a cape. There's a set of unspoken rules about that kind of thing." She chewed her lip. And it was still just... so weird that everything about her had clear definition (pun NOT intended). Like seeing a cell shaded person in real life, but not quite to that actual extent.

Actually seeing her ice form in general was a bit awkward. Her clothes weren't thin like her socks to the point of being see through, but it's semi-transparency certainly didn't leave much to the imagination, even if I wasn't actually trying to perv on her. Rather, it was more like the effect that girls wearing bikinis had on the eyes of a straight male. Your eyes just kind of gravitate against your will sometimes.

I coughed as I shook the thought out of my head. Brain bleach.

I'm not a pedo, I swear!

"You'll still have to learn how to use it properly, cuz actual experience is important. But at least you won't have to fumble around to learn what you can and can't do quite as much. Think of it like, uh, New Wave. Powers are somewhat similar to their parents, right? Think of it like that, having a baseline to judge your abilities from."

Taylor nodded, understanding the analogy. Was analogy right? Maybe comparison is a better word here. Regardless, it didn't matter as long as Taylor got the point.

"Naturally. I don't want to hurt anybody by accident. It's hard to explain, but I can understand that I'm way too cold for a normal person to be around..." She winced as she rubbed the side of her upper arm as if she was trying to warm up. "Your shirt is... it's still frozen..."

I tried brushing off the ice, but it just shattered (because I apparently don't know my own strength sometimes), leaving me awkwardly with a half-intact shirt that was now revealing the majority of my abdominal region. Oh joy.

I pretended to not notice Taylor pretending to not stare at my abs. Even if you turn your head, I can feel water currents running over my abs like crazy! Stop looking at my abs with your non-visual senses! I am not meat!

Actually should I be concerned about the fact that she can just look at my body and ignore my clothes through the flow of water? Uhhhhhh.

That... surprisingly potentially frightening thought aside...

"Ok, it's actually a bit more complicated than the way I'm explaining it, but essentially you can turn into a water or ice version of yourself. The damage that you take in those forms don't translate over to a human body unless you try to turn back without, uh, fixing yourself? Mending? You feel everything that the, uh, elemental form of yours feels though. So do be careful. Anyways. You can call water into existence or pull it from the air and manipulate it's state of existence."

Really it was as if she got the Elemental power from my CYOA list, but focused just one one element: Water, with the bonus that she could control what state that water was in. In exchange for that single element limitation, her control over her element became exponentially more powerful, allowing incredible amounts of hydrokinesis in all of it's forms.

Obviously there was more to being an elemental than I thought. Or that the CYOA bothered to explain. I mean, changing into a being made of water or fire was honestly cool enough for plenty of people to grab it as a power. As if they needed to explain all the little nitty-gritty bits about being a fictional fucking existence, am I right?

"I see... I guess me feeling things in the water has something to do with this body." Taylor groused. "I guess I really need to practice with my own power to really get it."

She seemed to take a deep breath before turning back into human form.

Naturally she immediately choked as she tried to breathe, forgetting that her human form needed AIR not water.

I rushed over to her before quickly exiting the submerged basement, Taylor in tow.

Danny stumbled as he tried turning to us too quickly. Too concerned with the state of his daughter as he slipped on the hardwood floor.

"Taylor! Is she ok?!"

Taylor coughed as I gave him a smile of assurance before opening my mouth to give him a verbal verification that Taylor was just fine.

I gurgled out water. Like enough to fill a large mug.

Shit forgot that my lungs were still filled with water. Oh god...

I felt my face flush with awkward embarrassment as I turned my head towards the basement to cough out the rest of my lung capacity's worth of water. Thank god Taylor's power also purified water under her control. I DID just go through a basement, so...

Taylor snorted, in a very unladylike manner, in stark contrast to the beautiful ice sculpture she had been mere seconds ago, as she burst out in laughter.

Danny also coughed as he tried to hide a chuckle of laughter.

"It's... it's not that funny!" I grumbled, face red with embarrassment. "I can survive without oxygen through my regeneration! That doesn't mean I can breathe water like a fish!"

"Ha ha ha!" Danny chuckled, "The great and mighty All Might! Slayer of Dragons!"

"Gurgling out water like some kid at a water-park that drank too much pool water!" Taylor finished, shaking in my arms with mirth. "Pfftha ha ha ha!"

I sighed, filled with both shame and an odd sense of camaraderie as the Heberts laughed together. Laughing their stress away at my expense.

I chuckled.

If you can't beat 'em... laugh with 'em.

* * *

"Bonding with Taylor aside, you lucky neophyte, you..." Deadpool munched on an apple, like an asshole, his mask rolled up just enough that he could eat. "What're your plans for the ABB?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, lazily watching Rune play a surprisingly good-looking 3D version of Stardew Valley (the Earth Bet version wasn't pixel based) on the big screen of the living room area. She really sucked at being efficient, but she seemed like she was having fun, which was good. "ABB's pretty much over... unless you mean the power vacuum they left behind. God knows, I really do need to do something about that..."

Deadpool chewed in a moment of silence.

"We'll have to do something, of course. Even if ABB was a parasite sucking lifeblood from this town, it was protecting the Asian Sector. For a non-caucasian ethnicity in a city where literal fucking Nazis exist, I'm sure that the ABB's protection was a necessary evil for some people." Deadpool palmed the apple, tossing it up and down in his hand, weighing it for some reason.

"E88 is gonna have to get cleaned up ASAP." I agreed, scribbling on a notepad. It's amazing how having Tinker Powers just GIVE you the power to draw things. I've NEVER been able to draw well until now. "There's no way that they will just stand there when there's blood in the water. Probably going to move on Monday in case I bother going to school for whatever advantage that'll buy. Or tomorrow when I'm seeing the PRT. Should we worry about Merchants?"

"Nah, I think they'll keep to themselves the way they've been doing. Most likely, the only reason Merchants haven't been causing a fuss is because it was Skidmark that was the ambitious one out of the group. Pretty sure that your 1v1 vs Mush convinced him that we'll destroy him if he does anything that draws our attention, too." He took another bite from the apple before cocking his arms back and flicking the apple as if he was performing a free-throw.

A cushion floated around, blocking the apple from landing on Rune's head.

The blonde former 'Sabrina The Teenage Nazi' turned to give Deadpool a sour look, cheeks puffing in irritation as her sky blue eyes gleamed with annoyance.

"You made me lose my fish, Wade, you dick!"

"Constant Vigilance! Formerly villainous but reforming mahou shoujos need that the most!"

Rune growled before the pillow flew at Wade's face.

"Stop mixing Harry Potter and anime from Earth Aleph!"

Wade just caught the cushion with his teeth and face.

Deadpool made a weird growl that was probably what he thought was suggestive or something... as he waved the pillow around, teeth still gripping the fabric like a dumb dog.

"...Gross." Rune spat before turning back to her game, "Ah! The fish shack is closed! Nooooo..."

"...Well going back to the topic at hand." I sighed as I pulled the cushion out of Wade's mouth, slapping the back of his head with it.

His face shot forwards, slamming into the counter, leaving a hairline fracture in the marble with an audible crack.

"Ow." He muffled, complaining. "Ma fashe..."

I wrinkled my nose. Yeah that really did hurt. And Rune levitated a piece of cardboard with a big '10' printed on it.

Was she really playing straight man to this?

"Well, I hope you've been thinking of a plan. Because mine sucks." I groused. "It's half baked and would only work if we met a bunch of stupid conditions."

"Oh, shut up. It's only natural you and I would come to the same conclusion. And Part 1 of that plan is so utterly broken that it covers for Part 2 if we can just buy the city some time. I've already prepped everything for you using the Auto-Forge, since you've already bought the power... the way that thing works is bullshit, B-Tee-Dubs. I still can't believe Lung gave that many fucking Fragments..." Wade cracked his neck as he pulled his mask back on properly. "Once you buy the next power for the plan, I do expect you to get 2nd Trigger for Cosmetic Shapeshift. This mask is great and all, but I'm really sick of walking around with your face."

"You and me both." I rolled my eyes as I walked over to the large garage/Tinker space.

Rider was in her corner of the workshop still checking over her new (giant) motorcyc- was that floating?!

Huh, she got the hover system working, although she's got multiple power cables plugged into the thing to power it. Guess it really needs a lot more juice than we were expecting.

Well, I suppose that it wouldn't matter for long.

I pulled a large number of mechanical plates and parts from Pocket Room alongside a large toolbox.

I was fresh out of Entropy Fragments, but the ten minutes I spent underwater wasn't just to drown Puff the Angry Draggo. It was to completely pull out all the energy that his Warrior Shard was willing to flood into me. It was actually more than a little unnerving. I hadn't ever seen a Shard as active as Lung's. It was like it was trying to use all of the remaining power left in it to empower me.

It died still attached spiritually to Lung's nervous system, not returning to wherever the hell Scion was, frying the gang lord's brain as it attempted to process the power of being a fucking actual Dragon without a Shard to run the show.

As if yearning for the part of me that had once been Eden. Like a father seeing the child of his dearly departed former lover. That kind of desperate yearning was...

I shuddered.

I saw the Shard cannibalize itself to share as much knowledge with my biology as possible. It honestly wasn't the drowning that killed Lung, rather than the Shard committing suicide.

It was unnerving. Even if it wasn't human, or just part of some cosmic space whale that fanon (somewhat lovingly) referred to the Entities... How sentient were they? Why was it so eager to help me, even if killing his host and self?

I sighed.

Of course I would spiral into some depressing shit in the middle of a Tinker trance.

I flicked on the Auto-Forge Mk II, designed by attuning with it's basic design using Wavelength Tinkering. Sympathizing with the process of the original creator's intentions. Replicating the experience and exceeding their technical ability...

Dragon's programming was actually something damn amazing. Whoever made her really poured his heart and soul into her creation as whatever he did made her able to replicate Tinker design, software, and engineering via code instead of space whale parasite.

I began inputting a new set of commands and designs for parts for an Infinate Stratos Black Box. Speaking of space whales, Tabane Shinonono must have been a fucking space alien herself.

My Power Sight showed Wavelength in it's cosmic flame. A white orb, like a dwarf sun, yet rippling and shuttering. It strained to attune with the concept of an anime character's insane, impossible genius and was screaming in effort to replicate that essence.

Well, perhaps that was more my fault for trying to attune to a Tinker that doesn't fucking exist and forcing it to create and emulate one for the sake of my own convenience when I had no fucking clue where to get started.

Yeah, actually, that was probably my fault. The only reason this was working was that my Negentropy supplied Wavelength with infinite cosmic power to just brute force my way into making shit work.

"Joe? What is that?" I heard Rider whisper next to my ear, her breath light and almost faint. As if she couldn't comprehend what she was looking at.

Probably couldn't either. Like I said. Tabane Shinonono was a crazy space bunny playing mad science.

"This?" I finished putting the black box together, all the pieces lining up to make it look like a perfect black sphere. The surface reflected light in an odd way, as if it was the center of a black hole, but slick with oil. "This is, hopefully, the solution to your power-suit-motorcycle's power and computing problems."

It wasn't perfect and certainly needed a LOT of tweaking and altering before it was on the level of techno-bullshit that it was in the anime, but it would work for what we needed now.

I gently held the orb as I turned my head. My cheek brushed against Sherrel's in a moment of accidental intimacy. But she was too transfixed on the piece of faux (was it really faux when I MADE it with Tinker Powers?) Tinker tech in my hands.

I flushed a little, my cheeks heating, but gently handed the IS Core to her. She swallowed, barely daring to breathe as she stared at the black orb in her hands.

She cradled it like it was an infant. It was kind of funny, seeing as she was dressed in a white cotton undershirt (was that one of mine?) stained with oil and a pair of hip-hugging jean shorts (also with oil stains and a few scorched marks).

Like a hot grease monkey mechanic mama hugging her robot baby.

I held the laughter as Sherrel slowly turned and shuffled over to her baby (read: motorcycle/mech-suit hybrid) with IS core in hand.

She didn't seem to even register the fact that I called out to her that the core was just currently a prototype. Ah... she'll come talk to me about it later.

I checked the clock. 1AM. Ah shit. It's late. I'm still not done with what I need to do.

Lucky I'm just a copy of the original me. The actual me is still with the Heberts, currently asleep on the Heberts' couch after gently putting Taylor (who had fallen asleep on Danny's shoulder) in her own bed. She definitely wasn't used to infinite cosmic power running through her body.

God I'm tired. That shouldn't have sounded sexual to me. Stupid crystal ice body drawing attention to feminine parts because her clothing is semi-transparent. UGH! Stop thinking!

I shook my head. I still had things to do.

And, speaking of infinite cosmic power (what a reoccurring theme!) I was getting some Dr. Manhattan vibes from myself doing this shit. But Tinkering OP Hax is something I really need right now. I picked it up so I can make things better without being there in pers...

Huh. That gave me an idea.

A half hour had another Auto-Forge Mk II printed out and the rest of the hour let me finish putting it together. It technically should have taken longer to assemble, but mid assembly I had the first forge crank out some specialized work tools to accelerate my work efficiency.

Why a second Auto-Forge?

Work divided between two Auto-Forge made the next process go by much more quickly. Because while designing it took no time at all thanks to some Tinker bullshit, most of what I needed built was both delicate and needed to be durable. Plus the mistakes I'd have to inevitably correct.

The idea for the creation was simple. Processing power beyond the comprehension of a PC master race memer. Enough data storage for MatPat's Bee Movie Meme idea... or as close to that as physically possible. Plus, even if it was just through Power Hub, I had been around Armsmaster twice now. It was like muscle memory as Wavelength hummed appreciatively as I allowed it to conveniently minimize everything.

I had invented a smart watch. A black box with multiple tiny hard-light hologram projectors built in, sleek as hell, with a titanium alloy strap that adjusted itself... A smart watch that could project interact-able holograms and could put any normal Tinker Supercomputer to shame. Because Wavelength was pure bullshit.

Hell I had the Auto-Forges begin fabricating a few dozen more just in case. Back-ups upon back-ups. Or I could just put these up in strategic points at the top of large buildings across the city. A network of super computers surveiling the city for dangers...

Actually, maybe that was too Batman for me. Food for thought though.

Regardless, I wanted enough of these for everybody I needed to be able to protect to carry on their wrist. For both their convenience as well as protection.

This thing was MORE than just a supercomputer. Can't give away all it's secrets so easily.

I sketched up and inputted a rough robot design that would be capable of detail work and finesse as long as a proper program controlled it. It didn't need to be perfect. A better one would be made later for obvious reasons anyways.

As that began printing out, I fought off the light drowsiness as I powered through a ridiculous amount of code. Nobody I knew had an Artificial Intelligence based Tinker power, but that didn't matter. A bit of meditation and fiddling was enough to find something that was certainly close enough as Wavelength was capable of fiddling and tweaking with the Tinker waves that it focused on.

Utterly broken. Just filthy. Disgusting. Just coasting off feelings and a general sense of 'warmer/colder', you could control what your specialization was as long as you had the power to brute force it in a direction you needed then spent more power fine-tuning your Tinker brainwaves for what you need. And did I mention I had infinite cosmic power? Cuz I had that. Just didn't know how to tap into it as well as I could be doing.

In the end I was just walking around blind as far as Entity power stuff went, but it's not like I can just walk up to Scion-senpai and ask him for tips on being a space whale.

I yawned as I wrapped up my coding and let the program begin properly installing and booting up in all of my new Holowatches (patent pending baby~) and started assembling the assembly droid.

I smelt bacon as the door to the base's main area opened up and soft steps from fuzzy slippers walked over to me.

"Jeez, All Might. Were you up all night? Rider didn't make breakfast like she promised, so I... and she's passed out on her... hovering motorcycle? Ok. That's cool. Does me joining your team mean I get one of those by the way? Rider can totally teach me how to drive, right? And what's all this? Oh my god, there's NO way you're a Tinker on top of all your crazy bullshit... oh god..."

Rune's voice trailed off and I heard a tray of food clatter against the epoxy coated floor, the sound of a glass filled with liquid shattering into glass fragments as the primary Holowatch (currently mounted on a small stand on my workbench) began streaming out rays of light as it began producing a human shaped figure that floated in the air.

Initially a human figure glowing neon green, it slowly gained rough features like a hoodie, shoes, hairstyle, etc before the form began gaining other colors and finer details.

Sandy blonde/brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail using a pink scrunchie. A yellow hoodie wrapped around a female form dressed in a midriff baring pink, white, and black sports bra and biker shorts combo.

"B.U.I.L.D.E.R. Winning Fumina online! I am happy to meet you, Father!"

"ALL MIGHT WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!" Rune screamed.

* * *

 **END**

* * *

AN: Kind of not 100% on the AI's name/model. Might change/alter it later. I dunno. I AM open to suggestions/ideas. I ORIGINALLY made the AI just Agent Texas from Red vs Blue, but it was more of a placeholder than anything. I just ended up choosing Fumina because Gundam Build Fighters was great until the most recent Gundam Build Divers. (Feel kinda bad cuz I made a poll on my that I ended up putting to the side ha ha)

Also Gundam.


End file.
